A Sweeter, Pinker Line

Yesterday’s ruling in the Wagatha Christie case has seen the judge declare that Jamie Vardy’s phone is officially “up for grabs” to be analysed as part of the case.

As we’ve mentioned in issues gone by, Jamie has previously had cause to deal with Sun journalists directly – and if the details surrounding his decision to grant the Sun serialisation rights to his autobiography are brought up in court, they might provide some interesting colour to the proceedings. However, it doesn’t seem likely that any smoking guns will be found on Jamie’s devices. For the most part, it seems he’s been largely unaware of Rebekah’s schemes.

Rebekah was always the one who tipped off the paps to let them know where the pair of them would be. Jamie could never figure out why photographers always appeared wherever he went. The poor lad just assumed he must have been so popular that photographers simply stalked him 24/7.

Paris Hilton’s new cooking show has hit Netflix, where she makes meals with her celebrity friends like Kim Kardashian, Demi Lovato and Saweetie. Unsurprisingly, Paris is a bit of a chaotic force in the kitchen – as you’d expect from someone who grew up in a suite at the Waldorf Astoria, being waited on hand and foot.

But, sadly, it seems her best known recipes haven’t made the cut this series. There’s no instruction whatsoever on how to make her signature Strawberry Cocaine (cocaine laced with Nesquik milkshake powder – for a sweeter, pinker line).

Nor any on how to prepare her classic pudding: “Stray Dessert”.

Richard E Grant’s new BBC4 series Write Around The World has been getting glowing reviews, largely on account of the fact he’s a very genial host. The same appears to be true in real life too.

Many years ago, a cabbie got called to make a pick-up at Richard’s home address. When the cab arrived, Richard popped out to greet him and asked, “How much to Archway?” The driver told him it would be about £35, so Mr Grant peeled off 40, told him to keep the change – and then politely added, “Please, don’t argue with them.”

The driver was then presented with two steaming Glaswegians, who staggered out of his house and into the waiting cab, where they spent the entire journey home loudly discussing which of them should be the one to ring Richard the next morning to apologise for throwing up on his carpet.

Conservative Party co-chairman, Ben Elliot, has been a fixture in the news this week as allegations swirl that he’s been selling access to his uncle (Prince Charles) and his colleagues (the PM and the Chancellor) to drum up six-figure donations for the Tories.

Questions are now also being raised about the PR firm he co-founded, Hawthorn, which has been lobbying the government this year on behalf of notable clients such as Chinese telecoms giant, Huawei.

A Hawthorn spokesperson has insisted that Elliot is only an investor in the company and has “never been actively involved in the business”.

So presumably it was a completely different Ben Elliot who gets name-checked in this 2018 GQ profile of Johnny Depp as the co-founder and partner of Hawthorn: the one who initially approached the magazine asking if they’d be willing to do a feature on their client.

The Flash isn’t the only big Hollywood movie shooting in the UK this summer. The fifth Indiana Jones has been filming in Glasgow recently, transforming parts of the city centre to mimic 1960s New York for a parade scene.

As we mentioned last week, The Flash has had a bit of trouble with Deliveroo cyclists accidentally crashing the set, taking their usual shortcuts straight through the middle of scenes as they’re being filmed.

Indiana Jones hasn’t had that same trouble, luckily. The only problem they’ve been having is passing locals recognising the set, then belting out the Indiana Jones theme tune at the top of their lungs.

At the start of the year, we told you that the Sun threw an illicit Xmas drinks party in breach of the very same Covid rules they so staunchly monitored whenever it was celebs like Rita Ora or Kay Burley stepping out of line.

The party might never have been placed on our radar had it not been for one spicy little incident, where a married senior executive took an assistant 30 years his junior into his office for a drunken fingering – seemingly forgetting that the rest of the party would be able to see it happening on account of his office being glass-fronted.

The incident has caused all manner of professional and personal fallout for him, with his marriage, his dignity and any respect that he once commanded over staff. But we’re pleased to report there’s a happy ending to it all.

Six months after the fingering, word around the watercooler is that the couple are now official. Bless.

Eurovision winners Måneskin enjoy yet more mainstream crossover success with each passing week, having now announced they’re going to be releasing a remix of their song “I Wanna Be Your Slave” tomorrow with the iconic rock legend/insurance salesman, Iggy Pop.

This isn’t Iggy’s first dabble at collaborating with Eurovision contestants though. Back in the 90s, he paired up with Israel’s 1983 entrant, Ofra Haza (who came 2nd) to record a dramatic spoken word introduction for her track “Daw Da Hiya”.

[Listen here]

The Times this Saturday featured a prominent Op-Ed piece entitled: “The Times View On Knowing When To Quit”. Ostensibly it was about Delia Smith, who revealed in an interview elsewhere in the paper that she had given up cooking completely, even at home. But Times staffers had a completely different reading of it.

The Times’ long-in-the-tooth editor John Witherow is currently on holiday – so putting this particular piece together were deputy editor Tony Gallagher, the Saturday editor and the paper’s chief leader writer.

Whatever could they have been trying to say?

The very first two hours of MTV, broadcast 40 years ago this week
[Watch on YouTube]

Wayne Sleep’s auctioning off some stuff, from Lot 701 onwards
[Get your bids in]

Data visualisation of singers with biggest vocabularies
[Who’s the most eloquent pop star?]

How the Brazilian Butt Lift went mainstream
[Read on Vox]

A taxonomy of celebrity alcohol brands
[Read on Gawker]

Macarena turns 25
[A retrospective on Spin]

A lot of you enjoyed last week’s poppers story. If you’re interested in where most of the UK’s come from – it’s Huddersfield.
[Read on Yorkshire Live]

Still Bored?
A website that directs you to completely useless websites
[The Useless Web]