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Milky Chaos In Cyberspace

 

If you like sport, you’ll love the Upshot – a Popbitch-inspired email newsletter dishing out gossip, controversy and tittle-tattle from the world of British sport. Sign up for free and get a five minute hit of irreverent sports coverage every Friday.
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* The Chinese fan crackdown
* Bingo wings around the world
* PLUS: Birthday Dishonours 2021
>> Brother beyond <<
The three final wishes
 

The interview with Diana wasn’t the only one Martin Bashir sneaked his way into. Former Panorama stalwart Tom Mangold tells a great story about the first time he met Bashir in his memoir, Splashed.

Mangold remembers a then-unknown Bashir approaching him meekly in the pub one night, apologising for interrupting his drinking but that he wanted to introduce himself as his brother had died recently and his dying wish had been for Martin to join Panorama. Bashir’s brother had continued, “If you can, I want you to try to emulate everything that Tom Mangold has done. Learn from him, copy him and, like Mangold, you will become a great reporter.”

After saying his piece, Bashir respectfully went to leave but Mangold, touched, asked him to stay for a drink – whereupon he introduced him to a load of his colleagues and made a mental note to do whatever he could to help grant the dying wish of this enterprising young cub’s late brother.

Not long after Bashir left the BBC, Mangold was interviewed by an ITV reporter, Michael Nicholson. The two got talking about Bashir when Nicholson remembered a story about the time they’d first met. Bashir had meekly approached Nicholson in the pub, apologising for interrupting his drinking but wanted to introduce himself as his brother had died recently and…

Apparently he span the same yarn with John Humphrys too.

So far this year, 14 people have been stopped trying to bring guns into Disney World, Orlando.
>> Quesion time <<
Long-term Sun damage
 

Among the many teething problems GB News has faced in launch week, the one that will have boiled Dan Wootton’s piss hardest is the giant on-screen typo that introduced his flagship segment: “The Big Quesion”.

Dan hates typos. So much so that online subs at the Sun used to get under his skin for sport, deliberately misspelling his name on the site’s stories just to see how quickly he’d send a snippy email about it.

The record was just under ten minutes: “My name is spelt Wootton. Would be nice if some of the online people could show a small degree of respect or actually check something.”

Among the “viewers” to get their names read out on GB News this week: Mike Hunt, Mike Oxlong, Cleo Torez.
>> Big Quesions <<
A GB News special
 

Which GB News host once spent the night in the clink after the police were called to cool down a domestic dispute?

Which GB News host was once locked in their dressing room by bosses at a previous job as they were visibly far too hammered to appear on camera?

Which GB News host once used a catfish profile on a dating site?

Which GB News host was once described by an admiring crew member as so hard-living he “hadn’t seen anyone that fucked since my days touring with Joe Cocker in the 60s… and he had an arm full of heroin”?

Octopus Energy isn’t just green. It’s greener than Shrek on St Patrick’s Day. Not only will they power your home with electricity matched by 100% renewable sources, they’re giving Popbitch readers who sign up a bonus £50 credit in their new account. More green. On top of green.
[Get a quote from Octopus Energy]
>> Like a story of love <<
Alison Moyet’s bold opening
 

Our congratulations to Alison Moyet on her MBE. It’s not a patch on her other big honour – being used as the sign to denote the women’s bogs at the Basildon branch of Pizza Express – but the Queen can at least expect some interesting chat when she’s called in for the investiture ceremony.

Many, many moons ago, Alison once struck up an eye-popping conversation with a Popbitch reader at a party with the charming opener: “‘Ere, how big’s your cock? It’d need to be be a big one, ‘cos I got a very wide cunt.”

FYI: Vince Clarke was her counterpart on bog duties, denoting the gents’ at the Basildon Pizza Express too.
>> Lulu and the Landrover <<
Beware celebs bearing gifts
 

Among the other celebs to get a nod in the Queen’s Birthday Honours, Lulu got a CBE. If she turns up for the ceremony, beancounters at Buckingham Palace should keep a very keen eye on the post the following week.

Like many celebs, Lulu has been given lots of free stuff over the course of her career because advertisers think her endorsement is good for the company. She once found herself getting a free Land Rover as part of a publicity drive. When she went to pick it up, Lulu posed for a photograph with the dealer and signed a few things as normal.

A week later the dealer received a letter from Lulu. With an invoice for the photo.

Skin got an OBE for her services to music. When checking into hotels in the early Skunk Anansie days, she would use the pseudonym Mrs P Narni.
>> Chinese fans <<
Milky chaos in cyberspace
 

The Cyberspace Administration of China is taking a keen interest in online pop fan clubs, cracking down on sites they say induce “chaos”. Scary and authoritarian, sure, but “chaos” isn’t so far off the mark.

The fan economy in China is huge – worth an estimated ¥100bn (~£11bn) in 2020 – and their power is unreal. Two incidents have sparked this crackdown. One was a recent reality show on iQIYI (a Chinese Netflix) designed to create a new boyband “Youth With You 3”.

The show was sponsored by a Chinese dairy, Mengniu, and fans could gain extra votes for their idols by scanning QR codes in the caps of a bottled milk drink. The point was to drive sales, but fans orchestrated an online campaign to turn out in their droves to buy well over £5m worth of milk – just to pour it down the drain and use the caps. This led to huge milk shortages days after the country had introduced its first anti-food waste laws. Result? The final got cancelled, the TV show was shuttered and the poor wannabe boy banders sent home.

The other incident was from last year, when megastar Xiao Zhan was the subject of some online fanfic, in which he and his TV co-star Wang Xibo fell in love. So far, so One Direction. But other fans took a real dislike to this utterly fictional relationship and complained to Chinese authorities to get the site hosting it (AO3) taken down. A huge row erupted between fans, but the one who caught it in the neck? Poor innocent Xiao, who got dropped by sponsors like Estee Lauder, Olay and Budweiser – all through no fault of his own.

After spending a year and a half in prison for sexting obscene images to a 15 year old girl on encrypted message app, Confide, Anthony Weiner has just reactivated his account.
>> Weight a minute <<
Something doesn’t add up
 

There’s been lots of headlines about the fact GB News’s launch night racked up 373 complaints with broadcast standards regulator Ofcom. It even inspired former Ofcom bigwig Stewart Purvis to write an article for industry mag Broadcast about the channel’s notable lack of balance.

The volume of complaints will no doubt die down when the people currently watching it as a blood sport drift away. And as for Purvis? Well, you can’t always trust everything he writes down.

Colleagues at a previous job at ITN remember him best for getting a gym installed, then keeping a falsified log of his weightlifting progress to make him look like the strongest man in the office.

Recording a podcast, radio or audio drama needn’t be a technical challenge. Whether your guest is self-isolating, pretending to self-isolate, or recovering from selfie-surgery, you can record remotely with anyone in the world, and sound just like you’re in a studio together!
[Get started with Cleanfeed for free]
>> Family affairs <<
Sex degrees of separation
 

Who is Lady Colin Campbell, the woman taking great pains to inform GB News viewers that Jeffrey Epstein wasn’t technically a paedophile?

As with most titled types, it’s always fun to take a quick squint at the family tree.

* Lady Colin Campbell is the former wife of…
* Lord Colin Campbell, the son of…
* The 11th Duke of Argyll, once married to…
* Margaret Whigham, one of the first known practitioners of bukkake in the UK.

Nominative Determinism of the Week: The new deputy chair of the Wine Society… Eleanor de Kanter!
>> Bingo! <<
Wings around the world
 

After we learned that the Cantonese phrase for ‘Bingo Wings’ translates as ‘Bye Bye Meat’ (i.e. the flesh that wobbles when grandma waves you goodbye) a number of our international readers got in touch to tell us their local equivalents.

* In Finland they are called ‘The Allis’, named after the wife of their 7th president, Alli.

* In Sweden they are called ‘Gäddhäng’. Gädda is their word for ‘pike’, so it translates as ‘pike flaps’.

* In the French-speaking parts of Belgium they’re called ‘Coucou Mamie’ (literally ‘Hello Granny’).

* And one localism in Australia is ‘Tuck Shop Arms’: an affectionate reference to the arms of the mums who help out in the school canteen.

Eurovision winners Måneskin are really crossing into the mainstream: A profile in the New York Times this week and projected to crack the Top 10 in tomorrow’s UK chart.
>> Lorde-ing it up <<
George v Gillespie
 

Lorde’s new single has really divided opinion – mostly into those who think it sounds like George Michael’s Freedom! 90, and those who think it sounds more like Primal Scream’s Loaded.

There’s a third fringe faction though. Those who think it sounds like Primal Scream’s Come Together.

[Hear it here]

Fancy FREE wine delivered through your letterbox? Wine List has launched the first letterbox wine club that helps you learn. Get 3 incredible glasses delivered each month, along with their at-home wine course. Claim your free trial box now (just cover £4 postage) at thewinelist.net
[Get your trial box here]
>> Hmmms <<
a-ha, Aha!, groundhogs
 

The Godfather Estate is up for sale
[$90 million, if you want it]

Man plays a-ha’s Take On Me by slapping himself on the face
[See on YouTube]

Is snooker legend Steve Davis selling his old Northern Soul records?
[Any clues in the feedback?]

Alan Partridge translated
[See on Twitter]

An interesting history of the rise and fall of Planet Hollywood – by the aptly named Kate Storey…
[Read on Esquire]

Rebel Reel Cine Club has two new screening events next month. July 15th is Derek Jarman’s Jubilee at the Strongroom Bar courtyard in Shoreditch; July 16th is Paper Moon at the Woodberry Wetlands, N16.
[Tickets and info]

Addictive little browser game
[Dot Dot Dot]

Baby groundhogs that won’t stop eating
[See on YouTube]

Thanks to: PL, DG, ME, monstris, HM, SB, poshduckhunter, deep_stoat, mount_st_nobody, bobbifleckmann, hansu, sunbad, SN, CJ, JM, SG, NB, RJ, part_time_dave
Old Jokes Home
The soundtrack from Mortal Kombat was created around Nordic religious music.
It’s a Finnish hymn.

Still Bored?
A free PhotoShop style programme that works in a browser
[Photopea]

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