News/Flash

The official teaser announcement about Scott and Charlene’s return to Ramsay Street was made this week, but word reaches us that Kylie and Jason have already quietly got their scene in the can.

If you don’t want to read any spoilers/speculation about it, scroll down to the next story about Robbie Williams and his gak-induced amnesia, because we don’t want to ruin a 37 year story arc for any dedicated fans among you.

However, if you’re interested, there’s a leaked script that’s been going around (which may well be a decoy) that suggests Charlene and Scott don’t get much of a storyline, but do get the final scene of the series. The two of them pull up in a car, step out and bring the curtain down with the line: “We’re home.”

Robbie Williams has been in Melbourne recently, shooting live crowd footage for his upcoming biopic, Better Man – including a recreation of Robbie’s duet with Tom Jones at the 1998 Brit Awards.

Robbie was very chatty at the shoot, telling the crowd they were having to film with a local Tom Jones impersonator because getting the real thing was “too fucking expensive” – and that he couldn’t actually remember the original performance because he’d done three grams of coke and a bottle of sambucca that night.

It’s nice to see Robbie and director Michael Gracey finally getting to work together though. The pair first met a while back, when the then-unknown Gracey popped over to Robbie’s house to tell him all about this big new movie he was making: The Greatest Showman.

As Gracey talked, Robbie became increasingly excited, thinking this was all an overture to offering him the lead role and that Hollywood was calling him at last. A bubble that was swiftly burst when Gracey revealed the reason for his visit.

He was hoping Robbie might put in a good word with his mate Hugh Jackman, who had just been sent the script.

Which A-list model dragged an interviewer to the toilet mid-chat – not for any sneaky, snorty reasons, but to take a big long piss in front of them because she insisted she “can only focus when she’s empty”?

As we’ve highlighted these last few weeks, film crews often play a little fast and loose with the truth when they’re asked by curious punters what they’re shooting. Harry Styles’ music video was disguised as a “yoghurt commercial”; Benedict Cumberbatch’s film was cloaked as an “ad for a supermarket”.

So we can’t be sure if the film crew at Stansted last week were totally on the level when they said they were shooting Mamma Mia 3. We’ll just have to keep our eyes peeled to see what upcoming project features Take That making a cameo in an airport.

The Beverly Hills Hotel has seen a huge gaggle of stars descend this week for the Netflix Is A Joke festival. Despite the ever-present threat of attack, guests appear to be in good spirits. Buzzing around, being pleasant to all have been Lorne Michaels, Bill Burr, Shaquille O’Neal (a regular fixture at the Polo bar every night) and – weirdly – Ivanka Trump (there for a wedding, not comedy).

The only person who seems to be having a miserable time is Jimmy Carr, who’s been pacing around the hotel with his head down and a face like thunder. He’s been making good use of the gym facilities though. Presumably in training for the inevitable stage invasion when he plays Friday night.

We mentioned last week that Tim Westwood once tried to doctor his year of birth on a copy of his passport when applying for membership to a music industry organisation. We’ve since heard that there’s another big organisation he tried to pull the same trick on: the US Department of Homeland Security.

Unsurprisingly, that one didn’t work so well for him.

On a trip to the States in 2014, border guards picked up on a discrepancy between the date of birth listed on his ESTA and the one on his actual passport. Rather than finding Westwood ironically charming, they denied him entry, barred him from the visa waiver programme and had him returned to the UK that same day.

There was a great long read about the tumultuous first year of GB News in the New Statesman this week, which saw a load of former and current staffers lining up to spill the beans on what it’s been like working at the fledgling channel.

One thing we were pleased to see the piece touch on was the whiff of love that’s been in the air. We’ve written before that things have been getting noticeably horny at GB News as time goes on – with accounts of a few different interoffice romances sparking up.

And although the New Statesman piece has a number of great quotes in it, the greatest line we’ve heard being uttered in the GB News studio was:

“If [X] doesn’t fuck me tonight, I’m going to do the splits in his face.”

L writes:
“A friend ended up in Nick Nolte’s house once 15+ years ago and was taken aback to see a real working toilet installed in the middle of the living room. He never witnessed it in use, but Nick is said to have taken meetings in that room while curling one out, leading to the nickname ‘The Prince Of Turds’.”

JT writes:
“My in-laws rented a flat off David Coulthard that not only had a urinal, but a urinal in the style of the Rolling Stones lips. Sadly we were told with a lack of plumbing; it was for show only.”

The trial of Petra Ecclestone’s ex-husband, James Stunt, has begun where he stands accused of allegedly running a multimillion pound money laundering scheme. All the evidence is yet to be presented, but longtime readers of Popbitch will know that we’ve always had suspicions about his credentials.

Stunt claims to have made his fortune in dealing art, but his eye isn’t exactly discerning. He once turned up to a Mayfair gallery, rolling deep with a four car entourage. After careful examination of the works on show, he pointed at a painting of a zebra and asked the curator “How much for the giraffe?”

Knowing better than to correct a potential customer, the curator gave him the price (a considerable sum) and Stunt bought it – continually referring to it as “the giraffe painting” throughout.

Katie and Peter’s son is making music now…
[Hear it on TikTok]

Full films condensed into one second
[Can you guess it?]

Is that really Tim Westwood in the first six seconds of the Message In A Bottle video?
[Watch it here]

Amiga computers and modern music
[Read on the Guardian]

Miscellaneous punk zines
[Have a browse]

Is this the most boring era of celebrity?
[Thoughts on the Met Gala]

A gallery of incredibly old GIFs
[See them on Neocities]

Inside the showrunning crisis on TV
[Read on Vice]

American Song Contest: Week 7
[Recap on Gawker]

Still Bored?
Meet the people making Johnny Depp defamation trial merch
[Read on Rolling Stone]