The Daily Tonic: Fizzy Pop’N’Chop

The best Kate Moss/Popbitch story that came from 2001 was the one about Kate being warned at a location shoot that the building’s toilet had no door (“How the fuck am I supposed to get in there then?”) – but we tell that one all the time.

Given all that’s going on in court at the minute, there is one other that might be worth retelling here. On a fashion shoot in 2001, Kate was very keen to show off the fancy piece of jewellery she had brought in for it.

“See this necklace?” she asked people in the studio, giving them a good eyeful. “It’s been up Johnny Depp’s bum.”

Which six-packed popstar ruined his relationship with an Australian soap star when he inserted soluble aspirins in an unusual orifice – but found that the fizzing tablets did not have the “drive women wild” effect he’d been told about? Peter Andre!

Which popstar was having weekly colonics in 2001? Her waters were apparently deeply vile, as a result of her diet at the time consisting mainly of Kettle Chips. Geri Halliwell!

For all the tales of celebrities freezing their turds to use as dildos, or asking posh ladies to piss in their cupped hands, sometimes the stories that really stick with us are the silliest, simplest ones.

For example, back in 2001, one Popbitch reader told us about the time they were invited to Beastie Boy Mike D’s house in LA. Mike was keen to show off what he’d done to his home security system.

The digital display on all the control panels had come with the phrase ‘Honeywell Security Systems’ as standard text, but Mike was annoyed at the thought of giving them free advertising space in his own home.

So he made them come out and re-programme it so they read ‘Mike D Is Fresh’ instead.

Russell Watson got an inexplicable bonk-on for the song Barcelona by Freddie Mercury and Montserrat Caballé in 2001. Not only did he record a version of it with Shaun Ryder for his debut album (along with an extremely 2001 video) he also took to performing it live at concerts with Mel C.

There was another version he recorded too though. One with Mel C and So Solid Crew, which featured some rapped lines in the chorus: “Mel C bustin’ up! Russell Watson bustin’ up!”

Sadly, it never saw the light of day.

Back when it was known as the Tele-West Arena, there used to be a visitor’s book at the Newcastle venue reserved exclusively for bands to sign.

When Chris De Burgh played in December 2000, he signed it “Very best wishes, Chris De Burgh”. But by January 2001, someone had childishly vandalised his page to add the words “I am gay” to his message, written carefully to mimic his handwriting.

Only four acts had played the Tele-West in the time since the De Burgh show, meaning the culprits were either: 5ive, the Corrs, Bjorn Again or the Beautiful South.

Anyone know who it was? hello@popbitch.com

“We’re bigger than Britney Spears, N*Sync and the Spice Girls in Chile. Even though it’s a small country, we are really proud.” – Bradley S Club

“I’ve always been a great admirer of Phil Collins” – Prince Charles

“My grandma was like, ‘Oh, Christina! You look like a whore!’ I explained that’s the idea.” – Christina Aguilera

“I never, ever push myself to be in front. I respect those girls.” – Destiny’s Child co-star, Beyoncé Knowles

“The problem with women is that their genitals are in the inside” – Geri Halliwell

Same as before, the ten songs you’re going to hear in today’s audio quiz were all top ten hits in the UK charts at some point in 2001. You get a point for identifying the artist you can hear for each, and a second point for the song’s title.

Ten songs, twenty points in total.

[Play it here]

A 2001 Levis Jeans ad that features the voice of Meadow from The Sopranos singing I’m Coming Out as strangers’ belly-buttons
[Not quite as weird as it sounds]

Footage of Mars in 4K
[See on YouTube]