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The Daily Tonic: Have I Got Booze For You

 

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* Sylvester’s willy helicopter
* Geri: The Original Fleabag
* PLUS: A TV-ish audio round
>> Question time <<
Breaking the band
 

Thanks for all your stories of failed TV vehicles. In a similar vein, today we’d like to know about any musical projects that stalled in the same sort of way.

Which labels tried to launch doomed rival boybands? Which promising solo spin-off careers died on the vine? Were there any big TV tie-in singles that tried (and failed) to capture the magic of Robson And Jerome?

Today’s Question: What were the worst/weirdest/most peculiar musical projects that got started, but were shelved before they saw the light of day?

Send us your stories of botched bands to hello@popbitch.com and we’ll send a digital goody bag to our favourites.

TC writes: “I once almost got away an alfresco series for ITV called Dani Behr’s Picnics. We only pitched it as a laugh. Bastards pulled it a week before we were due to shoot the pilot.”
>> Pump it up <<
Have I got booze for you
 

missfifi writes:
“In the 90s Harry Thompson had the golden touch when it came to panel shows. He was producer and writer for Have I Got News For You, They Think It’s All Over and Never Mind The Buzzcocks, so TV companies were always interested in new ideas from him.

“I can’t remember what this one was going to be called but the idea was that the contestants were all going to be drunk. At the pilot the green rooms were filled with all sorts of alcohol but the show was abandoned when two competitors had to be taken to hospital to have their stomachs pumped.”

deep_stoat writes: “Company I worked at once pitched a TV show called Estate Challenge, where they would layer up a man with all the latest tech and send him off to walk around a notorious estate at night and time how long it took for him to be mugged, with a leaderboard and everything. Happy to say it didn’t get far.”
>> Geri: canned <<
Fleabag before Fleabag
 

JT writes:
“A few years ago, I was part of an audience review panel for Channel 4. One of the shows they wanted feedback for was a comedy drama staring Geri Halliwell, ‘Geri: Life Sucks’. The show consisted of Geri playing a version of herself, who occasionally broke the 4th wall to talk directly to the audience – a possible attempt at recreating the style of Secret Diary Of A Call Girl which was popular at the time.

“The show was so bad that when Geri announced it, a Channel 4 spokesperson was quick to cut ties with the project, denouncing their involvement. Unfortunately the memories of just how bad the pilot was have stayed with me ever since.”

PS: Does anyone know what happened to the full episode?

[The teaser is still around]

SK writes: “At the height of the trend for reality shows about the ‘supernatural’, I was pitched a series that featured a group of little-people psychics based in the US. The show’s title? ‘Small Mediums at Large’.”
>> Doctor’s orders <<
More strange celebrity staging
 

L writes:
“In 1991 I saw Sylvester McCoy in Alan Bleasdale’s play Having A Ball on tour in Manchester. It’s set in a vasectomy clinic and is described as an adult comedy, so his enthusiastic nudity was part of the role.

“However, I feel that the part where he stuck his, um… ‘sonic screwdriver’ through the hole in a surgical drape and helicoptered it madly about the stage was beyond the call of duty. It’s still taking up my mental real estate almost 30 years later.”

Nominative Determinism of the Day: The woman in change of credit control at Ginsters is called… Debbie Billing!
>> Quarantunes <<
#147: Sound and vision
 

Today’s ten tracks are all tangentially connected to television. Some were theme tunes, some were spin-off singles, one of them just has ‘TV’ in the title.

As we say: tangentially.

All you really need to know is that you get a point for correctly guessing each title and another point for each artist/band.

[Ten songs; twenty points]

If you’re wanting a slightly more substantial quiz fix, we’ve put together a downloadable Popbitch Popquiz Puzzlebook that is filled with quizzes, puzzles and activities designed to be completed in quarantine…
[It’s yours for a fiver]
>> Hmmms <<
A couple of quick things
 

The Nolans singing I’m In The Mood For Dancing in Japanese
[Watch on YouTube]

Why are K-Pop bands so big?
[An interactive graphic]

A 60-song 3-minute 90s megamix
[Listen on YouTube]

Thanks to: CF, contact_tracy, deep_stoat, JT, SK, missfifi, TC, L, JW, gentlemanthug
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