The Daily Tonic: Stink-Palming Puffy

Sounds like loads of you have been eBaying with stars (in particular, a surprising number of you seem to have struck deals with snooker star Steve Davis) so we’ll continue to dribble out your stories of celebrity transactions as the days go on. For now though, we’re after something else.

We asked you a few weeks back for the best bits of advice that celebrities had ever given you. Now we want the opposite.

Today’s Question: What’s the worst bit of advice you’ve ever heard from a star?

Send your titbits of shit celebrity wisdom to us at hello@popbitch.com and we’ll reward the best/worst with a goody bundle of some sort.

BoneyMLP writes:
“Paul Daniels sold off some old tricks and props via eBay many years ago. One prop was a prosthetic recreation of one of Debbie McGee’s hands and was made of some sort of flesh coloured latex.

“Whether he was naively, blissfully unaware or playing along in good humour we’ll never know, but he faithfully answered all questions and posted them in the listing, such as ‘Does it grip well?’, ‘Is the grip firm or soft?’ and the like.

“Good old Paul. I often wonder if the hand is in a display case somewhere, or in someone’s personal toybox…”

LB writes
“For most of the 2000s, I worked at an online skip hire company. We had a few famous customers: Dane Bowers, Howard Marks and a couple of others.

“Paul Daniels was regular customer who ended up having an account with us. We delivered a container to store all his props, and skips for his son who was clearing out a shop somewhere. He’d speak to the staff regularly and was quite cheeky and flirty. Sang a lot down the phone to our female staff.

“Anthea Turner’s PA tried to blag a free skip during the filming of Turner’s TV show, Perfect Housewife. We jokingly replied that we’d only give it away for nothing if she put Anthea in it. She sent back an angry reply and CC’d Anthea in. In hindsight, not our proudest moment.”

rangi writes:
“About 20 years ago I was involved with a team who were competing in France at the Bol d’Or, a 24 hour motorcycle race. To keep the fans entertained at these events the organisers usually arranged for a big name band to play a gig on the Saturday night, and for this occasion they had lined up Motorhead.

“On the Friday morning at about 11 o’clock we were getting things ready for qualifying when Lemmy came by our pit to wish us luck. In his hand was a pint glass which, at first glance, contained nothing more than Coca Cola.

“After he had gone on his way our crew chief (who had a sideline in wholesale drug dealing) told us that Lemmy used to be a customer of his and what was in that glass was a 50/50 mix of Jack Daniels and Coca Cola. He looked at his watch and said, ‘That’ll be at least his second of the day at this time.'”

okayeoiny writes:
“Your mention of the MTV Music Awards in Dublin brings back memories. My brother and I were in college in Dublin in 1999, around the same time that the movie Mallrats came to our attention. There’s a move in Mallrats called “stink-palming” where you basically reef the sweaty arsehole off yourself to get your hand as stinky as possible, then vigorously shake someone’s hand, passing on the stink of your arse to their hand.

“We waited with some smallish crowds in the freezing cold outside some hotel, hands in cracks as limos pulled up with A-listers checking into their hotels. We weren’t having much luck until finally one popped out of his limo, shaking only one hand, in a massive prolonged arm-wrestler type handshake. It was none other than Puff Daddy! And the hand he shook was my brother’s.

“Sorry, Puffy. I’m sure you always wondered how your hand stank that night in Dublin.”

We really weren’t expecting to do this many audio rounds, so we’re venturing into the weirder looking numerals now. This is No.41 and features another ten songs. Some easy, some hard, some you’ll be annoyed to be reminded of.

There’s twenty points: one for each correctly guessed song title, one for each correctly guessed artist.

[Here you go]

Reggae album covers, reshot in their 2020 locations
[A great project]

Adorable hedgehog assault courses
[Watch on YouTube]

TimesRadio seems to be using the same font as Radio 4
[What are the chances?]