Two Cox and a Fox

Earlier this year, bartenders in Singapore marked the momentous US-North Korea summit in their city by creating a special commemorative cocktail: The Rocketman.

The UK party conference season 2018 may have been a slightly less significant event, geopolitically speaking, but whoever whipped up the drinks menu for News UK’s cocktail parties can take a bow.

On the menu at their Labour and Tory events were ‘DExEU On The Beach’ (vodka with grapefruit and pomegranate) and the ‘Centrist Dad’ (a whisky, lime and ginger concoction).

Stormy Daniels’ lawyer Michael Avenatti recently floated the idea of a presidential run in 2020. It’s no real surprise he’s angling for it. He’s always had a bit of a taste for power, as journalists who have worked with him for years can attest.

One reporter who once welcomed him into his office for a chat was a little taken aback to find himself being told by Avenatti where and when he could take a seat. In his own office.

Which #MeToo disaster-in-waiting once ended a one night stand by asking the woman who was getting ready to leave his house if she’d mind staying for an extra ten minutes so “I can piss on your face?”

Someone else who had the pleasure of being introduced to “Dr” Neil Fox didn’t get quite as crass an intro as “You’re shaking the hand of the only man to have shagged both Kylie AND Dannii Minogue” – but they did get treated to this little one-two.

NEIL FOX: Hi! Have you ever flown in a helicopter?

STRANGER: Erm, no. I haven’t.

NEIL FOX: I own one.

Senior staff at the Sun are packing their bags ready to spend the weekend at a Scarborough caravan park for three days of planned ‘audience engagement’.

Every couple of years, Rebekah Brooks likes to make her team go on one of the £9.50 Sun Savers holidays they advertise in the paper, in order to keep them in touch with their readership. The staff are doubtless hoping it’ll be an improvement on the last company outing of its type to Camber Sands two years ago when celebrity chef Rustie Lee cooked for everyone, and twenty people ended up being taken down by a dose of norovirus.

That said, given how keen Rebekah is to force them to mingle with readers, maybe succumbing to a debilitating bout of the shits is their best option?

During his turquoise tracksuit days, back when he was claiming to be Jesus, a Popbitch reader crossed paths with David Icke after one of his lectures.

She was working at the venue, unbeknownst to Icke, so when she came in to clear up the dressing room she thought he’d vacated (and steal up any beer that he’d left behind) he thought she was a diehard fan popping in.

His big move? Telling her that she was prettier than most of his fans and offering her a free copy of The Truth Vibrations.

The leaked clip of the Rainbow ‘pilot’ (actually a joke sketch filmed for an in-house ITV video) where Geoffrey, Zippy, Bungle and George all joke about playing with their “balls” and “twangers” is well known. What’s less well known is that rehearsals for the actual show were even more X-rated.

One reader – whose dad had a job where he could smuggle her in to a Rainbow recording – had her innocent memories of the shows shattered as she watched the characters warm up for their first take by reciting lines like “Piss off, George, you fat pink fucker,” “Sod off, Geoffrey,” and “You can fuck off too, Zippy while you’re at it you mouthy wanker, no-one likes you anyway.”

It carried on in much the same way until someone yelled “Action!” and they turned in a flawless (and clean) take.

M writes:
“I can second the opinion about Brian Cox. As a young graduate marketing assistant I was tasked with looking after him ahead of an awards show where he was presenting an award. The event was at a country house hotel so very rural, with no cornershops and no supermarket in the vicinity.

“Five star food and accommodation was laid on for the talent. Mr Cox (or ‘That Cunt Brian Cox’ as he is now known in our house) threw an almighty tantrum because there were no crisps on hand. We could offer a panoply of high class bar snacks but no crisps. He made me cry, my boss cry and my boss’s boss cry. Items were thrown. There was no reasoning with the fucker.

“His tantrum threatened to disrupt the whole show so, in the end, a poor harassed kitchen porter and I had to hand make crisps for him. The cunt ate one single crisp, presented his award and fucked off home.

“Not a perv though, so that was a nice change.”

To clear up any confusion for any skim-readers, the Brian Cox who people have been taking shots at over the last few weeks is the acclaimed Scottish actor, not the acclaimed Mancunian astrophysicist/keyboard player.

If you’re curious about what that Brian Cox is up to these days, we can tell you. He has just had to fill out an accident report form at the University of Manchester after he let a lecture hall of students out late and almost caused a massive accident in a stairwell where the unexpected influx of foot traffic almost crushed a number of people.

The latest new-media hypemonster to be suffering from a touch of the money wobbles? Seems like there might be trouble in store at underground music hub, The Boiler Room.

The brand continues to get PR puffery everywhere, including whispers that the company is about to be bought by Apple in a nine-figure deal – but quite how that squares with them temporarily closing the London office yesterday to lay off over a dozen staff isn’t clear.

Whatever’s happening there, it’s doing little to stem the rumour that’s been picking up pace around (what’s left of) the London and Berlin offices: that the company is quickly running out of money – and that the fallout has just begun.

“Council boss bought dildo with Grenfell Towers survivor’s money”
[Read on Court News]

Local news of the week, Sweden edition
[Read on thelocal.se]

Want to read Mark Judge’s memoir about drinking with “Bart O’Kavanaugh”?
[Wasted is on archive.org]

Want to read Brett Kavanaugh’s contentious yearbook?
[Cupola 1983 is on archive.org]

Halloween costumes really aren’t fucking around this year…
[Oscar Pistorius outfit anyone?]

Bear catching fish
[See on YouTube]

Q/ What’s this?

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*
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A/ An arsehole going upstairs

Still Bored?
Brilliant and bonkers bit of Dutch football commentary
[Watch on Twitter]