Proper good pop from Denmark

It’s going to be a right good Eurovision this year

Here’s Denmark’s entry A Friend In London, New Tomorrow

We like. A lot. Our new favourite (at least for today) – sorry Lena and Stella…

Eurovision geeks will notice that it sounds not too dissimilar to Andreas “Glorious” Johnson’s Eurovision wannabe Sing For Me but somehow works better.


Psychic Rabbits v Avian Crowdsourcing

You know you'll be bored by the Oscars by
Monday. You've still get a couple of days to look
smug by betting on the winners. Social
Network as best film? Good odds. Geoffrey Rush or
Helena Bonham Carter to spring an upset? Maybe.
Free matched bet with Boylesports (and watch out
below for the animal predictions):

"I miss the designing, but I don’t
miss the fashion industry. Those people
eat their children" - Patrick Cox
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|_|         |_| 25.02.11 ISSUE 534

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* Footballer scandal down below
* Birds v Bunnies - Oscar predictions
* Charts: Adele is likely to be number one

         >> Life thru a lens <<
         Even 6ft pop stars have insecurities

    Last week Robbie Williams was visiting
    Ealing Studios. Some boys from the Metfilm
    school noticed him sitting in his Range
    Rover and asked him if he'd have his photo
    taken with them. Robbie kindly agreed.
    He got out of the car, stood in the middle
    of the boys, with his arms out around them.

    And then just as the photo was about to be
    taken he stood up on his tiptoes so that
    he looked a little taller in the photos.

After this week's NME Awards, Carl Barat stayed
up until 5am trying to dispose of furniture on
Twitter (@carlbaratmusic). Rock 'n roll.

        >> Rasta rumblings <<
        Cartoon mouse causes trouble

    Cute TV cartoon Rastamouse has
    been getting more than its fair share
    of pointless criticism. Even Reggae
    Reggae Sauce supremo, Levi Roots, has
    been grumbling about how portraying
    a Rasta as a mouse rather than a lion
    is demeaning, and that he turned down
    the chance to voice the little fella.

    Someone close to the show suggests
    there might be a little more to
    this spat. His management were asked
    if he'd like to invest in the show,
    before it went on air. The answer wasn't
    positive, but they did indicate he might
    be interested in voicing the character.
    The producers didn't take it further
    and went looking for support elsewhere,
    which might have lead to this falling out.

Adam Rickitt is applying to become a lobbyist. His
CV even includes a testimonial from Maggie Thatcher.  

       >> Big Questions <<
       Who is asking what this week

    Eight different magazines/tabloids have
    claimed they have a kiss 'n tell ready
    to go on which superstar? The girls are
    apparently nervous about going on the
    record, or about breaking a
    confidentiality agreement. 

Diana Ross loves Haagen Dazs butter pecan ice cream.

         >> Party pooper <<
         It's hard to get an exclusive

    With the Oscars coming up on Sunday, we
    recount a tale which shows just how hard
    life can be for showbiz journalists,
    trying to get stories from evasive
    actors, or when you are stuck at noisy,
    boozy parties. 

    At the Golden Globes, Daily Mail's venerable
    Baz Bamigboye managed to get chatting to
    Nicole Kidman -  a long-time contact.
    He then filed a big Kidman exclusive - that
    she was pregnant with her second child -
    apparently based on a conversation with Nicole.
    Just as the paper was about to go to print, the
    announcement was made that Nicole had
    used a surrogate, and the baby had been
    born weeks ago. So the exclusive was
    kinda true... but cue massive panic,
    story being pulled and hastily replaced.

Convicted Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset al-Megrahi
has requested to be returned from Libya to
prison in Scotland for his safety...

         >> Popebits <<
         February's top videos

    1. As well as being one of the finest cities
    on the planet, Tblisi is home  to the coolest
    priests. Check out the one with the long
    grey beard really getting down to Bananarama. 

    2. Bobby Davro in the stocks. Brilliant:

    3. Just in case you haven't seen THAT
    PHD video and fancy catching up on advertising
    and marketing wankery:

    4. You don't get this kind of chemistry
    on Daybreak:

Popbitch's favourite pastry chef -
Oxo Tower's Ms Penny Wabbit.

         >> Scandal down under  <<
         The Premier League has much to learn        

    If Premier League footballers think they know
    how to create a scandal, they can certainly still
    learn from Australia. This is the recent
    history of St Kilda AFL club and a 17 year old.

    * Teenage girl claims she was sexually assaulted
     by two St Kilda footballers
    * Says she's pregnant by one but loses the baby
    * Then has relationships of some sort with at
    least two other players
    * The club publicly disparages her
    * She then reveals naked photos of the players

    Just when you think there couldn't be anything
    more, this week it comes out that the club's
    manager (*update "player manager" means players'
    agent in Oz *) has been having a relationship
    with her - even after the above. (Can you
    imagine Alex Ferguson thinking this was a
    good idea? *More like Paul Stretford*) He says
    he just hung out with her in her hotel room.
    She says sex and cocaine were involved. 


DJ Ironik wants to buy himself a Porshe in order
to motivate himself to learn to drive.

         >> Oscar time <<
         Will Avian Crowdsourcing catch on?

    It's Oscars time again. In 2009 we had a
    psychic cat, Wilbur, who tried to select the
    winners, with middling success. In 2010
    Smokey the rabbit predicted the Hurt Locker's
    triumph. But then Paul the Octopus came
    along and over-commercialised everything...
    Smokey seems to have turned his back on Oscar
    predictions (although he does seem to be
    backing Christian Bale and The King's Speech). 

    So this year we tried crowdsourcing -  the
    Guardian's always saying it's the future of
    journalism, after all. Find out what the birds
    of Regent's Park predict will win Best
    Supporting Actress:



Are you backing the birds or the bunnies?
Our friends at Boylesports have given us great odds:

Sex Faces Of The Stars: No 1: Dougie from McFly.
"Has a scrunchy face at the crucial time".
Email with any more sex face spots.

        >> Frosty reception <<
        Comedians don't always find criticism funny

    Surely Nick Frost and Simon Pegg can't
    be as unlikeable as their recent media
    promotion for their movie, Paul, suggests?
    Film 2011's resident movie critic/blogger didn't
    much like Paul. Fair enough, he's entitled to his
    opinion, you might think? Not according
    to Nick Frost. "Its a bit like me slagging
    off Heston's cooking (note the celeb-chummy
    first name only) because I can peel a potato".
    We can only add this - Simon Pegg was one of
    only seven (out of 135) celebs who refused to
    answer the Badger v Baboon question. Along
    with Abi Titmuss, Dominic West, Toto, Trevor
    Horn, Ruth Badger and David Cameron.

We reckon Raoul Moat would have been a baboon man,
in the eternal debate. Headline this week:
Raoul Moat "I will gut badger and wear it as a hat.

        >> Dairy double trouble <<
        The high-brow world of the Activia ad

mount-st-nobody writes:
    "My cousin was one of Martine McCutcheon's
    body doubles for those smug Activia
    yoghurt ads. I was told that she was
    a complete cow and made few friends on set.
    I also auditioned to be one of the lucky few
    who sat and ate yogurt with Martine but
    was told I didn't understand 'the story'."

Mrs Cake writes: "re 'How Much Hugh' - other locals
know him as Our Dear Hugh.  Also referring to
his shop prices, in case you didn't get that".

       >> Eurovision update <<
       Just waiting for Dusseldorf

    We're still a few weeks away from hearing
    the UK entry, it seems. Blue could be a good
    choice - they've got good name recognition
    and some skill at performing in large venues
    after all, but it's all going to depend on
    the quality of the song. We already know
    Norway have a good chance again, and this
    week Italy announced their comeback -
    quality jazz pop. And last year's winner,
    Lena, is going to perform quirky electro
    pop, which has a bit of a Lovecats vibe, and
    was written by a song-writer for Britney. It
    looks like it could be a close contest.


Popbitch Popquiz is back! Tues 8th March, at
The Player, Soho, 730pm. It will sell out fast so
book your places now!

        >> Things that make you go hmm <<
        Said Gadaffi, i-pads, daily bunnies       

    Exactly what it says:

    The new Queen exhibition at Truman Brewery:

    "I hate my i-pad":

    Always cute:

    Gadaffi Jnr on Facebook: 

    If you're childish and need a builder,
    this might be perfect:

      >> UK Top 40 <<
     This week's new entries/high climbers

++Number One
ADELE Someone Like You

++Top Ten

++ Top Forty
GLEE CAST Singing In The Rain
GLEE CAST Forget You
BEADY EYE The Roller

    >> End Bit <<
    Stuff about Popbitch

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* Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd.

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Thanks to: CL, WB, AM, SW, EW, jwept, EW, J
posh_duckhunter, donkey_walloppa, roykinnear, MC

Old Jokes Home:
I have a new pick up line that
works every time. 

"Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion?
Does this damp cloth smell like
chloroform to you?"

Still Bored?
The perfect Royal Wedding souvenir - sick bags:

Rabbits, swans and Oscars

Avian crowdsourcing. It’s the future.

Find out what the birds of Regent’s Park predict for the Oscars, not to mention Smokey the Psychic Rabbit, who predicted the Hurt Locker’s triumph last year.

Back the Birds? Or are you backing the bunnies? Bet here:


Eurovision Update


Unusual electro-pop


Smooth jazz with eyes shut


Italy could have made a more interesting comeback -  the entry was chosen from the San Remo song festival (he was the best new artist). This was the big winner:

Sample lyrics:

“for all the boys and girls who defend a book, a real book
so beautiful while shouting in the squares
because free thought is being killed”

Roberto Vecchioni

For all the weirdest and most wonderful entries:


And the award for best film title of 2011 goes to…


We love a nice nonsensical title here at Popbitch, so to hear that Drive Angry 3D was coming out in the cinema and was A PROPER FILM and everything was music to our ears – most of the nonsensical titles we like (Sharktopus) go straight to DVD.  Then to hear that it had Nicolas Cage in it – with his ‘I’m mental’ hat on – well, to say that there was a veritable shit-storm raging in our pants would be an understatement.

So obviously, we had to see it.  And obviously, we have seen it.  And obviously, the shit-storm was no false prophet – those stains weren’t in vain.  IT WERE REET GOOD.

It’s about Nicolas Cage – a nutcase from hell – and he’s trying to find his granddaughter who’s been kidnapped by a cult.  Other things happen though, like there’s another bloke from hell who’s looking for Nicolas Cage, and there’s also a sexy waitress thrown in for good measure.  The fact that there was a free can of Fosters in the seat at the screening shows that it’s not really worth getting all hung-up about the silly storyline – it’s best to watch it pissed.  Don’t know what the can of cheese and onion Pringles shows though – all that did was make our breath smell and stop us from pulling later on in the evening.  THAT’S OUR EXCUSE AND WE’RE STICKING TO IT.

Drive Angry 3D is knowingly bad, which can sometimes be a movie’s downfall, but in this case – it works.  It’s made entirely with a certain type of audience in mind, and it panders to their childish needs with an unfaltering loyalty.  Cage is awesome, Amber Heard is awesome, and William Fichtner (if you don’t recognise his name, you’ll recognise his chin face) is even more awesome.  It was an all-round success story for everyone involved – mainly because it’s definitely a movie of the Ronseal variety.


To sum it all up nicely – there are loads of explosions, guns, car chases, naked people, punches, hotpants, swear-words and Nicolas Cage expressions, so if you’re currently ticking off all the boxes in your ‘Movie Requirements For Easily Pleased People’ check-sheet, then we advise you go and see this film.  Unfortunately, you’ll have to leave the ‘Three People Attached Mouth-to-Anus’ box unchecked, but you can’t have everything.


Popbitch Playlist: Ironik

Recently we had a sit down and chatted to Ironik, who was out and about promoting his new single ‘Killed Me’.  We took this as a chance to ask him about the songs he enjoys listening to. And it’s not all too cool for school, you’ll be pleased to know… he’s not averse to a bit of R Kelly and David Guetta, don’t you know…


Other answers:

Song to get in a fight to?

Nah I don’t fight, I’m a lover not a fighter! But probably hard hip-hop like Waka Flocka Flame or something – it gets me angry, hyped!

What’s the best song you’ve written?

Probably ‘Slow Down’, I think I sounded the best on that song than I ever have.

What song do you wish you’d written?

Loads, mainly by Drake, or Kanye West. Because I listen to them a lot, they inspire me, so sometimes I listen to them and think man, I wish I wrote that!

‘Killed Me’ featuring McLean is out on the 13th March.


Georgia on our mind

For a real rocking vicar, you’ve got to get to the Caucasus. Not only is Tblisi one of the finest cities on the planet, with the coolest people, but it most certainly hosts the hippest priests. Check out these raving revs. The one with the long beard is mad keen on the works of Stock Aitken and Waterman. Particularly Bananarama.


Maybe Jamie Cullum’s not all bad…

The programme for the Cheltenham Jazz Festival, curated by everyone’s favourite pocket sized jazzer, has just been released, and it’s not bad. Mainly because the incomparable Pharoah Sanders is playing. Pharoah enlivened a sunny Big Chill afternoon when we hosted a party there in 2009 and, even at the age of 70, knows how to put on a show better than almost anyone alive.

He started out in the 1960s playing with John Coltrane, then went completely doo-la-li with Sun-Ra before putting together his own band for some of the finest experiments in free jazz yet seen. If you don’t own the 32 min long yodelling classic Creator Has A Masterplan you’re mental.

The Creator Has A Masterplan parts 1-3:


Oscars rundown

It’s the Oscars coming up, and surprise surprise, the same group of films have been picked up and stretched out over nearly all the categories.  Way to make it worth watching, Academy!  During the coming week we will bring your our Oscar predictions by our psychic animals… you can check the odds here on Boylesports

Actor in a Leading Role

* Javier Bardem in “Biutiful”
* Jeff Bridges in “True Grit”
* Jesse Eisenberg in “The Social Network”
* Colin Firth in “The King’s Speech”
* James Franco in “127 Hours”

We think the fact that James Franco cut his arm off just for a movie surely means he deserves to win. But Colin Firth is going to.