Milk Is For Babies

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"I like the colour red because it's on 
fire. And I see myself as always being 
on fire" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Milk is for babies" - Arnold Schwarzenegger
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|_|         |_|  02.06.11 ISSUE 548

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* Lee: The Latch is back
* Ryan: A sweeter story
* Charts: Pitbull & co are still number one

        >> Network difficulties <<
        People always talk about reputation        

    An interesting angle on Chezza's X 
    Factor debacle came from a friend close
    to a US gossip column. Someone was   
    apparently looking into doing an 
    introductory story on Cheryl focusing
    on the incident where she assaulted a 
    black toilet attendant. Network execs
    were already looking at a difficult
    launch, putting it up against the newly
    revitalised American Idol, and so the
    idea of having an unknown judge who
    might put off the genre's huge 
    African-American audience was a worry
    too much. At least this way all the
    furore has got them a big media splash.

    And while Cheryl's doofus management
    (i.e. might have deepened
    her rift with her mentor with huge
    financial demands for UK X Factor,
    the fact that she's been on the phone
    to his enemy/rival Simon Fuller about
    her career wouldn't have helped.
    And if we know this, you can betcha 
    Cowell does too.

Shaggy says he doesn’t have any celeb friends 
but does enjoy a drink with Cyndi Lauper.

       >> As serious as cancer <<
       How "celebrities" monetise themselves
    The New York Times ran a great piece last
    week about how minor celebrities are
    willing to "monetise" themselves by
    selling stories about themselves - often
    fabricated - to US websites Radar and TMZ
    for cash. They cited Michael (father of
    Lindsay) as the prime example.

    As the paper put it "TMZ and Radar have
    unearthed so many confidential criminal 
    and health documents about the Lohans
    that Judge Keith L. Schwartz of Los 
    Angeles Superior Court marveled in 
    frustration, 'They ought to maybe 
    hook up with the C.I.A.'"

    So this story caught our eye this week 
    in Daily Mail this week: "More heartache
    for Lindsay Lohan as her father suffers
    cancer scare". Who'd have thought!

Full NYT aricle:

It takes 12.5 million spam emails to rustle
up enough buyers to sell 100 dollars' worth
of viagra.

       >> Bet on the Bunbury <<
       How the Derby got its name

    The Derby is on Saturday at 4pm. But
    for a quirk of fate we'd be inviting you
    to watch/bet on The Bunbury. The name
    of the race was decided by a coin tossed
    between two aristocrats, the 12th Earl
    of Derby and Sir Charles Bunbury. Charlie
    lost. But his horse did win the first 
    Derby, in May 1780.

    With the Queen's horse, the big favourite
    Carlton House, suffering from a bit of
    a sprained ankle, we've taken a look at
    the rest of the field. And these are the
    tips we've been given:

    Sane Bet: Pour Moi, to win 
    Borderline Bet: Pour Moi & Vadamar 1-2
    Silly Bet: Masked Marvel e/w
    Loony Bet: Recital, Seville, Native
    Khan 1-2-3
If you sign up for an account with Coral
they will match your first bet up to fifty 
quid with a free one:        

Carlton House is drawn widest of all in stall 
13. The last Derby winner to come from the 
highest draw was in 1967. The horse's name...? 
Royal Palace. 

        >> Big Questions <<
        What people want to know this week

    Now the future of injunctions is up in
    the air, what are resourceful celebrities
    doing to ensure that the press don't get
    wind of their extramarital exploits?
    Could it be true that UK celebs living
    in Hollywood have been able to cover up
    affairs by using physical doubles? Even
    if that managed to fool your wife, surely
    you couldn't use the same trick to fool
    the law. Could you?

Friday night sees Boy George DJ at Goodwood.
Music icons plus racing for Three Friday 
Nights. From 4.30pm til late (Easy trains
from London, and only 30 miles from Brighton)
More info and buy tickets here:

       >> Catch the Latch <<
       Steps revival is imminent
    As you're unlikely to have waded through
    last week's OK! (the "Josie and Kerry: 
    United in Heartbreak" bumper issue) for
    long enough to find the real gold, here
    it is. Lee Latchford-Evans is no longer
    trying to make it in the music business
    with his band The Latch. He has become
    a full-time fitness trainer! And here
    are 5, 6, 7, 8 more facts:

    1. Lee is Claire-from-Steps' personal
    2. And the power behind the new
    OK! FamouslyFit brand.
    3. Is engaged to Kerry-Lucy Taylor.
    So when they marry she will be double
    double barreled Kerry-Lucy Latchford-Evans.
    4. Kerry-Lucy wasn't a Steps fan when 
    she was growing up.
    5. Before you go and make fun of Lee, he
    is a black-belt in kick-boxing.
    6. Thinks Lady Gaga is "a bit wild
    and way-out" (though Judas sounds
    exactly like a Steps track to us). 
    7. Is a big fan of apple pie.
    8. Lee "wouldn't want to do a Spice Girls
    thing... it basically looks like you're
    trying to cash in...If people want it they
    have to go out there and let us know!"
    So, come on. The fate of Steps is in 
    your hands! 

Vincent Disneur, late of The Apprentice, was
turned away from the VIP section of The Golf
Live event at The London Club. His "Don't you
know you I am?" didn't work.

        >> Looney toons <<
        More fun from Newcastle?

    A Newcastle FC insider made an interesting
    claim to us. The story goes that while 
    manager Alan Pardew draws a relatively low
    basic salary, he stands to earn much 
    bigger amounts in bonuses based around 
    the profit he makes for the club on 
    player sales. Which would have made Andy 
    Carroll's 35m transfer rather good
    business. And Jose Enrique's imminent
    transfer to Man Utd or Liverpool more
    likely than the "fantastic new contract"
    said to be on offer.

Rumour has it that Terry Venables had the exact
opposite clause when he was at Crystal Palace
in the late 90s. How football has changed...

       >> Popbits <<
       Tunes for June

    1. Back in the 90s sweet summer tunes came
    along almost every year -  think Jazzy
    Jeff and the Fresh Prince's Summertime 
    or Fugees' Killin Me Softly or almost
    anything by Arrested Development. 
    That was a long time ago, so thank
    God for Rizzle Kicks. We brought you
    Down With The Trumpets yonks ago, 
    but it's finally getting released. 
    And it still sounds really fresh. 

    2.Bored with seeing The Saturdays in every
    tabloid (even though you couldn't hum
    one of their tracks if you tried)? 
    There's a new girl band around. 
    Meet Wonderland.

    3. A rather good dance track by, for,
    and about, bears: 

Netflix accounts for a quarter of all 
North American web traffic.

         >> That's a wrap <<
         A sweeter story about Ryan

Rick_Gassko writes:
    "Mrs_Gassko used to hang out with Ryan 
    Giggs back in the day. Apparently at his
    house he had a collage made entirely of
    sweet wrappers, of which he was immensely
    proud. Guests would be encouraged to 
    unwrap a confectionery of their choice
    and 'add to the piece'."

US cinemagoers shunned 3D versions of the 
latest Kung Fu Panda and Pirates of the 
Caribbean. Shares in the leading 3D tech 
company RealD fell 26% in last fortnight.

        >> Foxy lady <<
        How faded RnB stars stay in drinks

    Seems like Foxy Brown's fame has finally
    run out. She was spotted at a Brooklyn bar
    recently trying to haggle with a bartender
    about the price she usually pays for vodka
    on the rocks on account of the fact that
    she’s Foxy Brown.

    Still, she always has her feminine wiles
    to fall back on. After having to pay the
    full nine dollars for her first vodka
    (she claims to pay four usually), she
    found some willing gentleman to buy her
    the next. Whilst he was being served,
    Foxy wandered over the street to a
    billiards bar opposite. The guy waited a
    good 45 minutes for her to return.

German police are training vultures to sniff
out dead bodies. The first bird to take the
training is called Sherlock.

        >> Osman tentacles <<
        Pointless star has singular shake

mordi writes:
    "I met Richard Osman from BBC2s Pointless.
    He was well mannered, friendly and polite
    but he is almost 7 foot and has gargantuan
    limbs and facial features. You don't get
    to see this on TV as he always sits down
    and doesn't have close-ups. When we shook
    hands he offered me tips of his fingers
    and gave me the most limp wristed, wettest
    old lady handshake I have ever experienced."

Superinjunction the horse shares her 
birthday with Frankie Sandford, LL Cool J 
and Sir Trevor Nunn.

        >> Things that make you go hmmm <<
        Ramsey, Dorries, cock seasoning

    Cowboys v Aliens, Predator v Alien...
    Had enough of those "versus" films?
    Don't there's loads more to come. 
    Dahmer v Gacy 2: In Space - 
    come on, that's genius

    Things go from bad to worse for Gordon
    Ramsay. Contender for worst film of the
    year? And, how humiliating, they even
    spelled his name wrong in the credits:

    Sexy MP - Pitting political totty
    against each other:

    Unsexy MP - Nadine Dorries'

    RIP Gil Scott-Heron: Poet, musician
    and voice of the "You’ve Been Tango'd"
    ad campaign.

    Is technology encouraging us to "like" 
    rather than "love"? Jonathan Franzen's
    take on digital:

    That Obama, he knows stuff:

    That BGT Deep Throat story has a whiff
    of PR plot about it, but they raise an
    interesting point about Ronan Parke's
    voice breaking. Remember that amazing
    track by BGT's Shaheen? It got shelved
    because his voice broke...

Last time to book your tables for the Popbitch
Popquiz. Round after round of ridiculous gossip,
squeezebox RnB and celebrity cocks - what's
not to love? At The Player in Soho on Tue 14th
and Trailer Happiness in Notting Hill on Wed 15th
with weird and wonderful prizes to be had.
GPB 5 per person, max 4 per team.
Email to book

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Thanks to: rick_gassko, CL, SW
deep_stoat, ccbaxter, SW, AM, posh_duckhunter
Kents Strongest Man & Bowlsey, britnee, 

Old Jokes Home:
When my girlfriend said she was leaving 
because of my obsession with The Monkees, 
I thought she was joking&#8232;
... And then I saw her face.

Still Bored?
The miraculous life of Tatiana and Krista 
Hogan and what it could reveal about the 
human brain:   

Fancy Another?

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