What’s Doing?
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*********************************************** Have the News of The World hacking and police corruption stories worked you up into a froth about the state of the world? Then now might be a good time to have a look at Amnesty International's new TV show: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2f8IjuqbsY *********************************************** "What's doing?" - Rupert Murdoch ----------------------------------------------- POPBITCH _ _ _ _ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__ | '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \ | |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | | | .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_| |_| |_| 21.07.11 ISSUE 555 Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe go to http://www.popbitch.com Send us stories - email: hello@popbitch.com * Latest celebrity dogshit news * Rebekah Brooks mini-special * Charts: The Wanted are still number one ------------------------------------------------ >> Brooking the law << Doing it for Our Rebekah Rarely does Popbitch get on its soapbox but recent events have stirred us up. Inspired by the News of the World, we demand the right for the public to know if there are any ex-News International execs living near us. As the NOTW once said on its cover "Everyone in Britain has a sex offender living within one mile of their home". This is surely just as true of ex- News of the World editors too. And, like Mrs Brooks, we vow to name and shame any politician who impedes our crusade for tougher laws against former red-top editors. We need... Rebekah's Law! Come on, join our campaign. It's what she would have wanted. ------------------------------------------------ Julian Assange, on arriving at Wandsworth prison, apparently asked the guards "Are you my crew?" ("No", was apparently the answer). ------------------------------------------------ >> Watchdog << Everyone wants Ace Ventura Never mind the media - it looks like the industry most in need of regulation is dogwalking. Poor, lazy celebrities who have been paying people to walk their dogs are being ripped off and are now having to pay pet detectives to watch the walkers. One owner noticed her dog had developed a habit of shitting in the bath, so called in a pet investigator. Footage from the pet-cam showed that the dog walker wasn't taking the animal out for exercise as instructed, but instead just put it in the bath to do its business. ------------------------------------------------ The ex-wife of shadow culture secretary Ivan Lewis owns a poodle parlour called Woof n Tumble. ------------------------------------------------ >> Disgracing Pavements << Oprah proves she's no Harry Hill monstris writes: "Harry Hill's dog pooed in my mate's front garden. She was about to tell him off but he approached the pooch brandishing a large wad of poo bags and was very apologetic. Oprah Winfrey's pooches, however, happily shit on Chicago's Gold Coast pavements without as much as an 'I beg your pardon' or a pooper-scooper in sight." ------------------------------------------------ James Murdoch used to do a cartoon strip called Albrecht The Hun, a German antihero who preferred reading to raping and pillaging, for a Harvard satirical magazine. ------------------------------------------------ >> Big Questions << What people want to know this week Which tough Northern footballer shagged a ladyboy on holiday in Thailand? ------------------------------------------------ The latest adult film parody? Wet Dream On Elm St. Freddie Krueger with dildos instead of knives on his fingers. As he's famous for entering the dreams of children, you don't have to be Rebekah Brooks to find this one a little creepy. ------------------------------------------------ ******** Special Brooks mini-section ******** (Or how a journalist from Warrington somehow morphed into Marie-Antoinette) >> Tipped off << No gratuities from Rebekah A waitress at Scoffers restaurant in Battersea Rise tells us she served Ross and Rebekah at least once a week for more than a year while they were married. He, we're told, was very sweet. She, in all that time, never once left a tip. ----------------------------------------------- Ross and Rebekah used to speak French to each other in restaurants so other diners couldn't follow their conversations. ----------------------------------------------- >> Wade in the waters << Ross Kemp's booby-trapped basement Rumours about the domestic disturbance incident at the Kemp/Wade household have been swirling ever since it happened. How true any of them are is anyone's guess but what we can tell you is that the couple had a swimming pool in their basement and one of the arresting officers nearly fell in it trying to apprehend Rebekah. ----------------------------------------------- Staff at News International claim Rebekah had a private investigator keep tabs on Ross Kemp when they were married because she thought he might be having an affair. ----------------------------------------------- >> Ticket trout << Brooks is not a happy camper Rebekah Brooks apparently decided at the last minute that she wanted to go to Glastonbury so asked a reporter to arrange it for her and ten friends. Somewhat shaken by the request, he tried to tell her that it might not be possible to get so many tickets. At which Mrs Brooks, used to having Prime Ministers at her beck and call, looked at him absolutely mystified and said... "Tickets? Why would I need tickets?" (Rumours that she helicoptered out as soon as she saw that the luxury accommodation site was not up to her usual standard in order to go to Cliveden are at this point unconfirmed.) ***** Special Brooks mini-section ends ******* *********************************************** We went to see Superinjunction at Royal Windsor racecourse this week and had a lovely time. Three reasons to go on Monday to Ladies Day: a) You can get a boat to the racecourse b) The boat to the course has a bar on it c) It's a one minute walk from a drinks tent to a good space in the stand to watch the race http://bit.ly/p6mlgP *********************************************** >> Badgering Cameron << We WILL get an answer No surprise to see David Cameron very obviously dodging questions yesterday about the BSkyB bid and the company that vetted Andy Coulson - he's got previous form. Back in 2009 he dodged the Badger v Baboon question. We might be close to an answer though. With the government proposals for a badger cull starting as early as next year, could this be a sign that Cameron is on Team Baboon? If that's the case, the PM joins Abz, Daniel Bedingfield and Keavy and Edele from B*Witched in his opinion. FYI: Notice that the badger cull was barely noticed in the wake of the Murdoch- Brooks TV appearance? A nice week to bury bad news, eh Dave? *********************************************** Acts at last weekend’s Lovebox are made of sterner stuff than our PM. Want to know what Architecture In Helsinki and 1 of 2ManyDJs think on the Badger v Baboon question? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YG6X3c57gQ Loads more from Lovebox at http://www.youtube.com/OffGuardGigs *********************************************** >> In plane sight << Gerard fails to travel incognito Celtiagirl writes: "Queues for Wednesday's BA flight to Glasgow were jumped by BA staff walking through a tall beanie-hatted bloke. The bloke was forced to take his hat off before going through security, revealing himself to be hamster-faced throbber, Gerard Butler. "On the plane he sat in the fifth row, with the beanie slammed down and avoiding all eye contact. GYAC Gerry: if you want to go unnoticed, maybe don't ask for a VIP walkthrough to the plane. His mum, also travelling, looked mortified. ----------------------------------------------- Adele and Mumford and Sons have the first and third biggest selling albums in the US this year so far. (Lady Gaga is number two). ----------------------------------------------- >> Wright plonker << Nice work if you can get it Last week TOWIE's Mark Wright tweeted: "Would say just a bit of a stressful day 2day !! Need a tweet 2 cheer me up any1 ?? Xx" What had poor diddums been through? Well, LG had hired Mark to show off a new novelty phone in Canary Wharf. Despite the money for the photoshoot and a free phone from LG, he moaned all the way through the two hour promo, where all he had to do was stand still and hold onto a gadget. He even held everyone up because the sun was in his eye a bit. The cameras had to wait for some clouds. ----------------------------------------------- Real names of the soul stars: Aloe Blacc is really... Egbert Dawkins III. ----------------------------------------------- >> End of the empire? << Syco sends in the heavies Cracks are appearing in Simon Cowell's empire. First off he was made to look a bit foolish over through the whole Cheryl Cole - USA X Factor saga. Then Simon Fuller sues over X Factor. And now things look like they're not quite right at Syco Records. Leona Lewis' new single was revealed a few days ago. And instead of the expected praise, music fans were just baffled that it sounded exactly like Swedish DJ Avicii's instrumental, Penguin. Avicii and his label, Ministry of Sound, claim they were in the process of getting a vocalist so they themselves could release it as a single, and that Leona's people had pinched the music without their consent. Twitter war has ensued with both artists making claim and counter-claim. Whatever the truth in all of this, there was no cause for what we're told then happened. That someone claiming to be a senior figure at Syco rang up the guy who PRs Ministry's singles and, in a move worthy of someone like Gary Farrow at their 1990s PR finest, basically accused him of orchestrating a huge negative PR campaign against Leona and suggested he could make life hard if he didn't stop the story coming out. Listen to the two tracks: http://bit.ly/ot8uUc Fuller vs X Factor: http://bit.ly/ooKuq1 ------------------------------------------------ Cheryl Cole is being considered for a show in the States again. A talent show, we're told. ------------------------------------------------ >> Things that make you go hmmm << Toygers, Dodgers and willy windows 2011's must-have pet: The Toyger. A cat that has been bred to look like a toy tiger. http://bit.ly/qlM5Em Remember neo-Nazi songbirds Prussian Blue? They're pot-heads now: http://bit.ly/rfQvf0 Flying meringues, stuffed strawberries and Snoop Dogg cupcakes at Katy Perry themed cakeshop Cakey Perry - from 29th-31st July: http://cakeyperry.wordpress.com/ See if you can get a straight answer out of him: http://askmurdoch.co.uk/ While the thought of News International having to sell their newspaper might be amusing be careful what you wish for. This is the story of what happened when Murdoch sold the LA Dodgers. http://vnty.fr/nZU0d5 Worst party ever? http://bit.ly/rmFZ1D If anyone cares what the Mercury shortlisted albums are, here's a summary: http://bit.ly/notSeR If Brooks or Coulson need a hideout, this one looks appropriate. Check out pic five: http://bit.ly/oibLWN >> Stuff about Popbitch << * Email us stories, gossip, otter pics: hello@popbitch.com * Subscribe or unsubscribe here: http://www.popbitch.com * Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd. * Mail by aysabtu ********************************************* Thanks to: A, CL, AM, SW, twattybanjo, LEW, deep-stoat, flobbit, party_b, R, monstris, TM, celtiagirl, DG, "the tottenham three" ********************************************* Old Jokes Home: Q. How did the hipster burn his mouth? A. He ate the pizza before it was cool. Still Bored? Support British film for 3.50GBP. Terrifying low-budget horror movie Heretic is shooting in West Yorkshire in August. Help get the film made by buying it a beer http://tinyurl.com/5wchoqq
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