Hawkwind To The Rescue

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"I can't live without eggnog... it's
thick enough to be a food" - Nick Lachey
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POPBITCH           _     _ _
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|_|         |_|  15.12.11 ISSUE 574

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* Hawkwind (hearts) Matthew Wright
* Labour MP's hotel night dilemma
* Charts: Little Mix are the new number one
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        >> Mixed Fortunes <<
       This time next year, millionaires etc

    The claim that X Factor winners Little Mix
    would make 8 million pounds was written up
    everywhere. But is that really likely in
    today's music industry, particularly for
    the winners of a TV show whose sales
    record is patchy at best? Pop stars are 
    more likely to get paid a day rate 
    rather than amass enormous fees.

    Take, for example, last year's X Factor
    break-out star, Cher Lloyd. At a recent 
    LA shoot it was found that her day rate 
    was lower than that of some of her
    entourage.
       
FYI: Anyone know what happened to the Matt
Cardle single that was supposed to be released
on the 4th?

FYI 2: Cher Lloyd smokes about 60 Marlboro
Lights a day.


------------------------------------------------
Nick Cave's eldest son got into a fight with
Bruce Dickinson's son at school. Both fathers
were called in by the headmaster.
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        >> Rt Honourable clubber <<
        Labour MP's hotel night dilemma

    The LGBT Labour group held a 
    competition at the party conference
    this year - where the prizewinner could 
    choose between a night's stay at a top
    boutique hotel or, more simply, a night
    at Vauxhall club, Queer Nation.

    The competition was won by Labour MP
    Angela Eagle. And she and her partner
    insisted on the night out at Queer
    Nation, instead of the five star freebie.
    
   
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Iggy Pop has been dropped from the Swiftcover
ads. He'll be replaced by animated characters
voiced by Bez, Chris Evans and Noddy Holder.
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        >> Big Questions <<
        What people are asking this week

    Which of this Xmas's reality show
    contestants gave the TV crew a lot 
    of bother as his almost-permanent 
    erection made filming either indecent
    or impossible?


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Q) Why did the snowman cry?
A) Because it was his birthday.
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        >> Wright hassle <<
        Hawkwind to the rescue

    Matthew Wright landed in a bit of hot
    water after he was accused of making
    jokes about the murder of Liam
    Aitchison on his show. Ofcom will
    now be investigating the incident,
    but Matthew has not been forsaken
    in his time of need. Support has come
    from the most unlikely of quarters -
    the rock group Hawkwind.

    Matthew occasionally performs on stage
    with the band, and so the mother of the
    band's manager has embarked on an email
    campaign to get people on her mailing
    list to write to Ofcom in support of
    Wrighty, decrying the 'witch hunt' that
    he is currently the focus of.


**********************************************
Something to get you into the Xmas spirit?
Phil Spector's been on repeat and you can't 
face the Hanson "Snowed In" album again... 
instead try We7's Xmas radio. Sign up for free, 
personalised radio by 18th Dec and get 
unlimited requests and no adverts for 14 days:
http://bit.ly/vZ8GcL
**********************************************


        >> K-Popbits <<
        Bring on the Beast!

    2011 wasn't a vintage year for pop
    - too much LMFAO, Lambada and Bruno
    Mars for that. And yet we don't end 
    the year jaded. Mainly because of a night
    this month spent swept up in the
    unabashed enthusiasm of K-pop fans. Even
    the fact that we watched the show from
    behind a sea of iPad cameras didn't matter.

    The music was dated, cliched and not at
    all cool. Yet somehow completely brilliant.
    Best of the bunch of these Korean 
    popsters were Backstreet Boys wannabes
    Beast. Watch and listen. It's very 
    silly, but very catchy:
http://bit.ly/rSGMAj 

FYI: Want to know what you voted for as the
top 10 of 2011? Check out WE7.com's Popbitch 
tracks of 2011 radio station. There's no 
LMFAO or Bruno Mars, we promise.
http://www.we7.com/listen/i/h2344877/radio

FYI 2: Best single of 2011 - our fave answer?
Imogen Thomas.


----------------------------------------------
UK artists fill three of US top ten albums of
2011 - Adele, Susan Boyle, Mumford & Sons.
Last time this happened was 1986 - Sade,
Dire Straits and Phil Collins).
-----------------------------------------------


        >> Dinner with Justin <<
        Waiting hell for Bieber hometown

X writes:
    "I work at a restaurant in
    Stratford, Ontario - home of Justin
    Bieber - and when he's in town he
    and his entourage will often come
    in for lunch. They generally arrive
    mid-afternoon (downtime in the biz)
    and there's usually only one waitress
    working at that time of the day.

    "Within minutes of his arrival, thanks
    to the magic of cell phones, the
    restaurant will fill up with teenagers,
    all ordering cokes and nothing else.
    They drive the waitress bonkers..."


------------------------------------------------
The two Manchester football clubs have come 
together to release a new perfume. They are
launching it on a Thursday night in January.
It's called Channel No 5.
------------------------------------------------


        >> Coralled by OK! <<
        Gerrards walk a tricky tightrope

    Fresh from a legal battle about their
    kids' privacy we were surprised to see
    just how candid Steven and Alex Gerrard
    were being in yet another OK! cover 
    shoot this week, this time "inside
    their spectacular new home".

    Not only did Steven suggest that his 
    wife loved to read the reams and reams
    of press coverage she got, Alex also
    appeared to tell the photographer just
    how much her two elder daughters loved
    taking part in photo-shoots.

    Let's hope those words don't come back
    to bite them.


------------------------------------------------
TOWIE's Lauren Goodger takes two sugars 
in her tea. 
------------------------------------------------


       >> Brain over prawn <<
       Boxing clever with film-making       

   We've featured many bad films this year,
   but still nothing has quite topped this
   one from 2001.

   Crust - the story of a pub landlord who
   finds a seven foot giant mutant prawn on a
   beach. So what does he do? He decides to
   teach it to box.

   And who was behind the film? Well, 
   Guy Hands, "saviour" of EMI.


The fuller story of the great British film 
tax dodge (£5bn from 2003-05?) is told here:
http://bbc.in/sjTo7W     

Know any other films that fit the bill? We'll 
try and make a list: email hello@popbitch.com 


------------------------------------------------
Audrey Hepburn had a pet deer called Pippin that 
she slept in the same bed with and even took
to parties and out shopping.
------------------------------------------------


         >> Hallowed Callow <<
        Lots of love for luvvy
       
    A huge wave of support came in for Simon
    Callow last week. He has held doors open
    for a surprising amount of you and has
    been only too delighted to do so. He has
    spoken to a few of you at train stations
    and been a joy to converse with. His
    impromptu poetry performances have
    brought smiles to the faces of everyone
    who heard them. He is, overwhelmingly,
    considered to be a very nice man, and
    we are pleased to banish him from 
    our "rude celebrities" enclave.

    However, loads of you have seen his cock
    and apparently the nickname "The Trunk"
    is somewhat misleading. 


------------------------------------------------
This week's nominative determinism: The CEO of
the UK Border Agency is called... Rob Whiteman.
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************************************************
Indie Band Aid for 2011 and without the charity? 
Sort of. Check out Architecture in Helsinki, 
The Subways, Chuck D, Los Campesinos etc 
wishing you a merry xmas:
http://bit.ly/uXBVfT 
**********************************************


        >> Things that make you go hmmm <<
        Loads of Xmas links and silliness
          
    Surely what the internet was invented 
    for? Research about dicks:
http://everyoneweb.com/worldpenissize

    Seals. The new otters:
http://bit.ly/uQ3zDW 

    Tron goes surfing:
http://bit.ly/uMN9da 

    Harry will win Strictly*. OK, you 
    won't win a fortune, but isn't it 
    nice to win? (*Probably):
http://bit.ly/vTuG9x 

    Coldplay and the edgy Hoxtonians:  
http://bit.ly/vSPmW1

    Matisyahu has shaved his beard off!
http://bit.ly/uKRtOP

    Looking for Xmas cock? Live nr London?
http://www.meatlondon.co.uk/

    Last minute booze needs? Call 
    Planet of the Grapes: 020 7405 4912.
http://www.planetofthegrapes.co.uk/

    New Yorker readers try to be funny
    about Newt Gingrich:
    (Number three is quite good)
http://nyr.kr/tST5uZ

    Bill Hicks would have turned 50 this
    weekend. Makers of American: The Bill
    Hicks Story host an event, Saturday,
    featuring rare material screening and
    a Q&A with Bill's brother:
http://bit.ly/rBH0bF

    Ever wanted to see Andrew Neil and 
    Michael Portillo raving?
http://bit.ly/tUX95v 

    Tickets go on sale for Vintage Festival
    2012 today! New stately home venue,
    13-15 July:
http://www.vintagefestival.com 

    Ever seen a man play trumpet and piano
    at the same time?
http://bit.ly/sEUyjq 

     Britney loves Malibu. Maybe she should
     have tried Martini:
http://bit.ly/vMr9XC 

***********************************************
Xmas presents you actually want to give and get.
20% off and a free gift
Enter badsanta at checkout
http://www.blacklabelsextoys.com
***********************************************


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* Thanks to Soho Theatre for quiz prizes:
Bourgeois & Maurice: Fa La La La La.
Alt-cabaret's most peculiar musical siblings 
are at Soho Theatre this Christmas, with their 
unrivalled mix of musical comedy, cutting 
satire and fashion that's so high you'll 
wonder what you've taken:
http://bit.ly/tlVKcJ 
 

*********************************************
Thanks to: AM, DK, PB, MM, AM, S, JM, 
bighorace, mount_st_nobody, majorbloodnok
mr_chips, bigkidsmademedoit, bobbifleckmann 
*********************************************


Old Jokes Home
Good news for insomniacs: it's only
two more sleeps until Christmas.


Still Bored?
Scott Five does Little Mix. 
We miss 5ive so much:
http://bit.ly/vWLxzB
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