Scat Out Of Hell
Written by: admin
*********************************************** Ready for Cheltenham? Open an account with Coral and get a free matched bet up to 50 quid! (We're being tipped a Sprinter Sacre/Hurricane Fly double on Tuesday... follow @popbitch for daily tips and specials Tues-Fri) http://bit.ly/AbG5kU *********************************************** "It is better to be a dictator than gay - Alexander Lukashenko "There is no way in the world that a vacuum cleaner will ever be obsolete" - John Torode ----------------------------------------------- POPBITCH _ _ _ _ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__ | '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \ | |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | | | .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_| |_| |_| 08.03.12 ISSUE 585 Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe go to http://www.popbitch.com Send us stories - email: hello@popbitch.com * Famke Janssen's stink eye * Strip poker with Bedders * Charts: Gotye is still number one ------------------------------------------------ >> Scat out of hell << Did toilet troubles fell Loaf? Meat Loaf caused a few rumours to circulate about his health last week after he was struck down with a mystery illness just moments before he was due to do a live interview on Loose Women. The 'undisclosed condition' that forced him to cancel last minute? Someone on the show said that he shat himself. FYI This is how he looked prior to the incident. Note the banana... http://bit.ly/wYGoaJ NEXT WEEK: Jean-Claude Van Damme. ------------------------------------------------ Chris Moyles spotted at Third Space medical centre this week. They do have London's best colonic hydrotherapist. Maybe he's finally realised he is full of shit? ------------------------------------------------ >> Daniel's date night << You won't shoot blanks with Bedders Daniel Bedingfield has always been one of music's great innovators, so of course he was going to be one of the first to jump aboard the new pledge funding business model - and the list of things he's prepared to do in exchange for your money is, frankly, incredible. For $500 he will take you to a gun range, $750 will get you a date with him. For $1,000 you can buy into a game of strip poker with Daniel and his friends. But, perhaps best of all, for just $75, Daniel Bedingfield - UK garage legend and third greatest beat-boxer in the world - will get out his sewing machine and tailor you a shirt. Snap 'em up: http://bit.ly/xpUFRd ------------------------------------------------ Steve Van Zandt (Silvio) was David Chase's original choice to play Tony Soprano. ------------------------------------------------ >> Big Questions << What people are asking this week Though they weren't surprised by news of his affairs (his wife is a notoriously difficult woman) bandmates and crew of which pop star were gobsmacked by the fact that he was caught playing away with ladies, and not the gender they were sure he was into? ------------------------------------------------ New research in CFA magazine says that 1 in 10 Wall St bankers is a psychopath. In the general population it is just 1 in 100. ------------------------------------------------ ************* Cheltenham 2012 ****************** >> It's the Kauto show << Fingers crossed for Friday It's Cheltenham Gold Cup day next Friday. Last year the race was billed as the final chapter in the story of Denman and Kauto Star, likened to the last days of football's elder statesmen, Scholes and Giggs, that we thought we were witnessing. Well, Denman has retired, but that's the only bit we got right. Giggs turned out to be at it like a teenager, Scholes returned to the Man Utd team after about five minutes and Kauto Star suddenly became a 12 year old world beater, hammering last year's Gold Cup winner, Long Run, in two big races this season. But Kauto Star fell at home and now might miss his - probable - final Gold Cup. Tomorrow he goes on some very public exercise at Wincanton to see if he's OK. Yet still we wouldn't bet against him in the Gold Cup. Or even Paul Scholes scoring in the Euros this summer. *************************************************** Want to go to Cheltenham? Win a pair of tickets for Ladies Day next Wed. Tell us what we should call the next Popbitch horse. Answer plus your Coral username to comp@popbitch.com. If you want to enter but don't yet have a (funded) Coral account go here: http://bit.ly/AbG5kU *************************************************** >> Straight-laced scandal << Quokka shokka a thing of the past One thing you could always rely on the Australians for was a decent political scandal. It was only a few years ago that Troy Buswell admitted to sniffing the seats of female party members and snapping their bra straps for sport. Even the stories about him indecently handling quokkas (cute little marsupials) were well circulated. So we're hoping that the rumour we've heard about an Australian cabinet member getting someone on his staff pregnant (and in consequence driving away another wife) isn't true - if only because it's just so bloody pedestrian... ------------------------------------------------ The chairman of South Australia's wine grape council is called... Simon Berry. ------------------------------------------------ >> Spel on the sidelines << Rugby star in doping ban Caroline Spelman MP lost a bid to injunct the Daily Star Sunday's story of her 17 year-old son being banned from sport for doping violations. Her explanation about what poor little Jonny did certainly cast him in a sympathetic light: "Our son, who was then 16, was injured in September 2011 and took some widely-available drugs in order to aid his recovery". Someone's gathered up some photos of Jonny Spelman so you can see how ridiculous the idea that he might have been taking steroids for anything other than medical necessity is. Oh, wait... See: http://bit.ly/wgUgNi Full story: http://bit.ly/wBrFfj ------------------------------------------------ Shaquille O'Neal is just finishing his PhD in education at Barry University, Miami. ------------------------------------------------ >> Dog Trek << Wesley Crusher no fan of Famke A few months back a reader wrote in to tell us that Famke Janssen was an incredibly rude and unpleasant person, who would hold doors open for her dog but not for fellow human beings. Looks like this wasn't an isolated incident. Wil Weaton took to Twitter to relate this little tale: "A cute dog sniffed me at LAX, so I pet it and said "OH HI POOCH!" Its owner gave me the stink eye. Turns out the owner was Famke Janssen." ------------------------------------------------ Turns out that beer is one of life's essentials. A Lithuanian court ruled that brewing Carlsberg is a "vitally essential" activity. ------------------------------------------------ >> Making Hayes << Louis's formula for success Irish singer-songwriter Gemma Hayes has said she was approached by Louis Walsh about working with her. She claimed there were a couple of conditions: 1/ She had to stop writing her own songs. 2/ She had to date a celebrity. She said no. ------------------------------------------------ Although he gave his permission for use, Morgan Freeman doesn't find those More Than Freeman adverts very funny. ------------------------------------------------ >> Norman's conquests? << And what the butler said Obituarial nostalgia for Lord St John- Stevas suggests the smug old Tory was just "a bit of a character". Those who came across him remembered him more as a horrific snob. At Emmanuel College, Cambridge - where he was Master - he was remembered for lavishing money and attention on small groups of very pretty male undergraduates while ignoring the rest of the college. When a couple of his favoured boys got in trouble with college authorities he brazenly paid their fines for them. And a journalist tells us of the time they rang him to ask if it were true that he collected Queen Victoria's underwear. Stevas picked up the phone pretending to be the butler, and then went and got himself... because of course he wouldn't have wanted anyone to think he was the kind of person who answered his own telephone. ------------------------------------------------ The only person Adele got star-struck by over at the Brits? Mark Wright. From TOWIE. ------------------------------------------------ >> Oh Kay << Reporters stay out of the Sun Two people arrested in a blaze of publicity, then go on to try to commit suicide, one very publicly... sounds like the perfect story for The Sun? Not when the people involved were their journalists and the arrests occurred as part of Operation Elveden, it isn't. So it's unlikely you'll read a word about Virginia Wheeler's recovery in the Priory or that chief reporter, John Kay had to be talked down from Blackfriars Bridge by the police. That said, maybe the paper thinks it simply isn't news. This is, after all, Mr Kay's seventh unsuccessful attempt (at least) - six of which happened shortly after he killed his wife in the 1970s. We do hope Elveden has got the wrong man, as Kay seems like the last person who should have been put in the stressful position of handling sensitive crime information from the police. FYI: Another paper not to mention the story is the Guardian. Which is a little odd as they have been such excellent chroniclers of everything related to this investigation. ------------------------------------------------ Speculation on Fleet St has reached fever pitch this week that Kate's done her duty, and that a royal baby announcement isn't too far away. ------------------------------------------------ >> Eurovisionbits << Dynasty kingdom in Eurovision shock It's the time of year when newspapers like to talk out of their arses about Eurovision. The Telegraph this weekend showed the extent of their knowledge of the contest - and Europe itself - by writing about the UK entry being up against "troupes of strobe-lit Moldavians". We wish Moldavia were indeed taking part. The country which hosted the infamous Dynasty wedding massacre would have surely put on a much more interesting show than a real European country, like Moldova, who every year decline to enter our favourite paedo-popster Sasha "I Love The Girls Of 13 Years Old" Bognibov. FYI: Time to tone down the next album, Sasha: http://bit.ly/ye7iCX FYI 2: Sweden choose their entry on Saturday. They're already favourite for Baku because of this track: http://bit.ly/whjvkZ FYI 3: "I see your Engelbert Humperdinck and raise you..." Russia send six old grannies to Eurovision! http://bit.ly/zSSzfY *********************************************** Doug Stanhope’s back in the UK, kicking off a 37 date tour this week. (You can vote on which is the worst town in the tour - Liverpool is currently winning http://on.fb.me/wjVsl7) Doug is a regular on Charlie Brooker’s Wipes, and "might be the most important stand-up working today" according to Ricky Gervais: http://bit.ly/StanhopeTour *********************************************** >> Things that make you go hmm << Ancient otter, buffalo guy, RIP Toola The drink of the summer is here. Premixed turbo shandy... http://www.itsturbotime.co.uk/ Forget which celebrity did which charitable act where? Here's the African aid map: http://bit.ly/yjgOMb Egyptian otter statue: http://bit.ly/w4m2H6 A car chase mash-up: http://bit.ly/wwnyk2 An interesting article on Google and what the hell is happening to it: http://bit.ly/xXv06o Guy on a buffalo: http://bit.ly/wcODBP RIP Toola the otter: http://bit.ly/w5QbYF Some of your favourite photos, including a brilliant one of Pope JPII http://bit.ly/x0BHyt "It's Egypt - but the people are too sodding poor to sit in a square til he goes" - Uganda, by someone who was writing about Joseph Kony before he trended on Twitter: http://bit.ly/yJha31 *********************************************** Brainboxcandy.com - refreshingly different, silly and sometimes naughty cards and gifts, perhaps not suitable for your mum... Actually we do Mothers day cards as well! http://bit.ly/wCJKP4 *********************************************** >> Stuff about Popbitch << * Email us stories, gossip, otter pics: hello@popbitch.com * Subscribe or unsubscribe here: http://www.popbitch.com * Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd. * Mail by aysabtu ********************************************* Thanks to: BJ, mountstnobody, KT, mati theabominablehoman, mrs_ivy_trellis, AM, ulysses, PA, celtiagirl, onthehushhush, 7zark7, ccbaxter, mrsix ********************************************* Old Computer Jokes Home Q: What do you call it when you drop your laptop over the side of a cruise ship? A: A Dell rolling in the deep. Still Bored? Best thing ever? Penguincam. http://bit.ly/yL9jS9
Posted in Latest Issue |