Footballers and their ink

  Remember when Stuart Pearce was the only player with a tattoo? Those days are gone (we blame Beckham, of course) and now you can’t move for overdone ink. It is nigh on impossible to switch on a match these days without seeing some teenage bighead who hasn’t played more than a dozen times for […]

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Remember when Stuart Pearce was the only player with a tattoo? Those days are gone (we blame Beckham, of course) and now you can’t move for overdone ink. It is nigh on impossible to switch on a match these days without seeing some teenage bighead who hasn’t played more than a dozen times for the first team with a full sleeve.

But which players have resisted the peer pressure and kept their skin undamaged? Here’s our first 11 of the players who’ve left well alone..

1. Joe Hart – England’s best keeper for a decade, big Joe is a nice Shrewsbury lad who’s worked his way up without being a knob to everyone. But wait, what IS that thing on his back? Joe, go on hols bromance-free next time eh?

2. Micah Richards – Hart’s right back swears he’s never worked out a day in his life. Believe him? Well, at least he’s got a chance for the Euros now ‘Arry’s not going to be the manager.

3. Ashley Cole – you’d imagine he’d have some dodgy cross (a la Rooney) but it looks like Ashley has remained ink-free. We thought he had one but can find no pix of it – do drop us a line if you have evidence otherwise…

4. Gareth Bale – I know, another left back but it’s harder to find clean-skinned central defenders than you’d think. Still, Gareth’s such a nice boy, you can’t imagine him bearing the tattoo pain…

 

5. Vincent Kompany – Man City’s captain fantastic is a bit of an example that not all players are boorish drunken shagging oafs. He’s married to a local girl, discusses politics, takes night classes and is a children’s charity ambassador.

 

6. Stuart Holden – the adorable Mr Holden has missed nearly the whole season for Bolton. We await his return, but in the meantime check out this sweet video of him getting back into shape…

 

7. Steven Gerrard – even though, let be honest, he’s not been at his best this season (or the last few really) he’s still a mainstay of ‘Pool and England.

8. Ronaldo – as if the perfectly coiffed Madrid player would ever ruin his perfect body with some cheap ink (and there’s no shortage of photos proving this)…

 

9. Xabi Alonso – Liverpool’s midfield has been bereft without lovely Xabi to sort it out, one of the players who is much missed from the PL…

 

10. Gonzalo Higuain – he doesn’t get much in the way of press but Higuain is still hammering them in for Real Madrid and Argentina (though he’ll do well to shift Aguero and Tevez in the latter team)…

 

11. Robin van Persie – and finally, a player so slim and delicate he looks like he might shatter into glass like in a Chris Cunningham video.

 

Anyone know any more? (or any of the above who have gone and get themselves tattooed?) hello@popbitch.com or @popbitch

 

Of course, while most players have gone the other way and gotten tattooed to prove how hard they are, some have really gone to the higher level of having no space left.

1. Daniel Agger – a qualified tattooist no less. Look at that Viking kings/graveyard back piece, amazing. We’re not sure about the new neck one though, doesn’t it look like a Jim’ll Fix it badge to you?

 

2. Marco Materazzi – remembered only as a hardman who got headbutted by Zidane, let’s face it…

3. Djibril Cisse – the Lord of the Manor of Frodsham himself. QPR fans must have wished he’d spent less time getting tattooed and more time scoring goals…

4. Raul Meireles – usually neck tattoos look dreadful (like Beckham’s sold block wings/cross) but Meireles manages to make them look ok, and then there’s all the rest…

 

5. Joleon Lescott – the most painful places to get tattooed are inside of the arm, feet, collarbone and ribs. Man City’s central defender has reams of text on his side, which must have hurt like hell…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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