Written by: Eurovision Deepthroat
A week in and finally we have some moderately bad behaviour at Eurovision. Last evening’s Swiss party began as a relatively sedate affair, with the Swiss lads SinPlus treating us to a small set of their enthusiastic cod indie rock. But while they were bouncing around like innocent wide-eye pups on the stage, Rambo Amadeus’s Hulk-sized backing band were mocking every sound they made, effecting chicken clucks and squawks with every affected vocal tick. Although to be fair, they did have a point.
Better still, one of the Icelandic delegation had to be gently ejected after enjoying one to many of the free local brews, and trying to forcefully drag any man standing onto the dancefloor. Later still, another of her countrywomen refused to leave the dancefloor at the end of the night – surrounded by a gaggle of adoring fans – and the EuroClub venue staff had to sweep up around her. She may still be there now.
Also unnecessary was the small jazz set that the San Marino lass inflicted on us halfway through the do. If her Facebook-fuelled song wasn’t bad enough, she made us endure several excruciating minutes of dibbedy-doo scat blather as well. The stampede for the toilets could have caused some damage in a less robust building.
Hyperactive princes of Irish pop Jedward also pushed the limits at their press conference earlier in the day, when dressed as a giant bubblegum machine, the pair grabbed the mic from the invigilator and piled into the crowd and stuffed it into the faces of anyone he came to. From there on, absolute chaos ensued. Word has it that their water-themed show will involve them jumping into the dribbly deluge and getting drenched. Let’s hope the poor lambs don’t get a chill.
Away from the arena, I’ve been told by some local punk kids that all rock gigs have been banned by the government for the complete month of May. However, some enterprising local bands have got around that by inviting people to what they call an “open afternoon rehearsal” on Sunday. We might pop down to that to A) see if the local talent is any good, and B) see if it all kicks off.Sounds win/win to me.
There’s also a protest group called Sing For Democracy planning an anti-government rally somewhere in the vicinity of the hall tomorrow afternoon. Good luck with that, lads – the level of security around the Crystal Hall has ramped up noticeably, so they’ll be lucky to get so much as a agit prop banner out. They’ve even got some pretty tasty looking gun boats circling around the end of the peninsula – probably to ward off any sea borne invaders. You didn’t get that in Dusseldorf…
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