Enema of the Kate

Written by:



*********************************************
Want to see how Kylie and Jason look 
together these days? They're singing
Especially For You at Hit Factory Live,
Hyde Park, 11 July, alongside a host of PWL 
stars. Sadly, they don't seem to have 
managed to bring back the Reynolds Girls 
but you can't have everything:
http://bit.ly/M8qevG
*********************************************


"I listen from Van Morrison to Adele, to U2 
to Jeff Buckley, to Leo Sayer to Eartha Kitt
- it's a real mix" Catherine Zeta Jones

"I don't really like older girls - although
my girlfriend is older" - Liam, One Direction
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POPBITCH           _     _ _       _
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| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
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|_|         |_|  28.06.12 ISSUE 600

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go to http://www.popbitch.com
Send us stories - email: hello@popbitch.com
* Status Quo: The Movie
* JA may say hey to Weiwei
* Charts: will.i.am will be number one
-----------------------------------------------


        >> Shot gear <<
        Clarkson's custom ammo

    Encouraging words reach us from 
    Chipping Norton. Someone who was
    responsible for reloading Jeremy
    Clarkson's gun on a shoot a couple
    of weeks ago says that all of his
    cartridges were engraved with "JC". 

    Which means not only is there one
    bullet with Jeremy Clarkson's name
    on it, there's loads.


------------------------------------------------
Jason Lee's son, Pilot Inspektor, has a 
friend called Zoot.
------------------------------------------------


        >> In the movies now <<
        Status Quo hit the silver screen

    Surprising news: Status Quo are 
    making an action adventure film, 
    Bula Quo!, which will star Francis
    Rossi and Rick Parfitt. The tagline? 
    "It started with guitars... and ended
    with guns!"

    Less surprising news: Filming has
    not been smooth - largely because
    certain people involved are finding
    it hard not to turn to drink. Is it
    any wonder?


------------------------------------------------
The guest list for the Stone Roses gigs this 
weekend is 8,000 names long.
------------------------------------------------



        >> Big Questions <<
        What people are asking this week

    What has Kate Hudson done to deserve 
    the cold shoulder? She's thrown
    several parties in her Brooklyn
    neighbourhood but we're told next to 
    no-one has been turning up to them.


------------------------------------------------
A British Olympian has posed naked in Attitude.
His name? Robbie Grabarz.
------------------------------------------------
 


        >> Otter rotter <<
        When mustelids attack!

    As longstanding devotees of the otter, 
    we understand better than anyone why
    you might want to get up close to one. 
    But every so often a story appears in
    the news which forces us to impress
    upon you the dangers involved in 
    playing with otters.

    First Terry Nutkins lost two fingers,
    now a cleaning lady in Hamburg is 
    in hospital after being mauled by a 
    giant otter at the Hagenbeck Zoo.
    Her injuries are so severe that she
    has been put into an artificial coma 
    several times since the attack and
    may never be able to regain full usage
    of one of her arms.

The horror:    
http://bit.ly/MXPqRV


------------------------------------------------
Chris Morris has a dog called Mollie.
As does Ziggy, off Big Brother.
------------------------------------------------


        >> Hackney Wack <<
        The red tape of Radio 1

    Backstage signs at Hackney Weekend
    artists were shown before going on stage:

    * Do not swear
    * No ambush marketing
    * Remember the correct hashtag
    * Do not say anything bad about 
    the Olympics

    Rock & Roll...

http://bit.ly/MZoWS5

------------------------------------------------
Wall Street Journal reported that people using
Macs spend 30% more on hotel reservations
through Orbitz than people on PCs. 
------------------------------------------------


        >> Popbitch is 600 <<
        And not yet run out of otter stories

    Stuff making us happy today:

    1. Mika has made a new album and we're 
    particularly loving a stomping track done 
    with Benny Benassi called Stardust. 

    2. Forthcoming film, Rise of the Animals 
    looks absolutely mental. See this and 
    loads more excellently odd movies:
http://bit.ly/MCpP3r

    3. Madeon's mini-mix on Annie Mac's
    show - only five minutes but 103 tracks:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00v6chn

    4. Breakbot might have made Madonna's
    Hung Up palatable:
http://bit.ly/LvW9Am


*********************************************
Terry down the pub said that unicorns are 
actually horses with ice cream cones on their 
heads. Not sure we believe him, but while 
you ponder it why not check this out:
http://www.brainboxcandy.com
*********************************************


        >> House call <<
        JA may say hey to Weiwei
        
    Not content with just evading the law 
    in the Ecuador embassy, Julian Assange
    has been trying his luck with a number 
    of requests to his new landlords.

    The oddest one we've been told - a 
    demand for an instant live internet 
    link with the world's other most 
    famous housebound celebrity, Ai Weiwei. 


------------------------------------------------
Discarded in a bin when the Blairs left Downing 
St five years ago - Tony's GQ Politician of the 
Year Award 2003. If that's not enough to turn 
Dylan Jones into a tory, we don't know what is.
------------------------------------------------


        >> Dirrty South <<  
        Dear Brit School: STOP IT

    South 4 are a new boyband out of
    the Brit School. The poor lads have been 
    landed with excruciating nicknames, the
    type that even Atomic Kitten would have 
    baulked at (Preppy South, Moody South, 
    Classy South, Party South) and a
    less than tasteful debut single, 
    called Cougar Town, about yes, you've
    guessed it, MILF shagging.

    If you're aiming a new band squarely at
    teen girls perhaps suggesting
    that the boys really want to have 
    sex with their fans' mums, and demeaning
    their whole gender with lyrics like
    "She's an alley cat.. go Kitty Kitty"
    might not have been the best idea:
http://bit.ly/QqgprO


FYI: Feminist quote of the week, from
Grazia magazine's feature on Kate Moss and
Kate Middleton: "Both Kates have become more 
significant to us as wives than they were 
as single women."


------------------------------------------------
Flash Gordon, aka Sam Jones, is now a top
bodyguard.
------------------------------------------------


        >> Enema of the Kate << 
        Jordan - getting in the spirit

    The juiciest revelations in Claire from
    Steps' new tell-all book are that she
    and her husband regularly used to have
    sex in the car park of Hillingdon tube
    station and that she once possibly got
    fingered by Dane Bowers.
    
    All worth knowing, of course, but it's
    pretty tame for a celeb autobiography.
    Katie Price (also an ex of Dane Bowers)
    could teach her a thing or two. Despite
    having already filled four autobiographies
    to date, she still has more anecdotes 
    to share - like this little gem from a
    recent press conference, thankfully
    brought to our attention by Now magazine:
    
    Q: What's the rudest thing you've ever 
    done in the name of love?

    Katie Price: I fucked Alex [Reid] up
    the arse with a vodka bottle.


------------------------------------------------
Chris Tarrant spotted outside a Chelsea 
Pizza Express having a huge argument with a 
woman - which ended with a resounding 
"FUCK OFF THEN!"
------------------------------------------------


        >> Bank for good <<
        A pop star for everyone to love
   
    Take That's Jason Orange was not 
    involved in the tax avoiding scheme
    that got rumbled last week. It seems
    his track record of fiscal 
    responsibility goes back a long way.

    Back in the 90s, when the band were 
    at the height of their fame, Jason still
    kept his money in a plain and simple 
    Co-operative Bank account in 
    Manchester. Bank staff were always 
    surprised when he said he was perfectly 
    happy with the 1% interest rate he got.

    And, in an interview with Q, 2009:
    "I've made us bank with the Co-op because
    it's ethical. I worry. I want us to stand
    for good things as well as be a brilliant
    band."

    Pity the rest of the band didn't keep
    listening to him.
    

------------------------------------------------
Propaganda fans, rejoice! Susanne Freytag
joins Claudia Brucken's solo show at Bush
Hall, 19 July. 
------------------------------------------------


        >> Name a price <<
        The benefits of baby names
        
    In this week's OK, Chantelle Houghton
    and Alex Reid are asked why they haven't
    decided on a name for their new baby yet.
    Chantelle says it's because there's no
    name that she absolutely loves.

    However, we're told that the baby does 
    have a name, but they won't tell anyone 
    in the media unless you pay for some
    some expensive photos of her first.
     
------------------------------------------------
Mick Jagger's cardboard cut-out cricketer - 
we're told it's Ian Botham.
------------------------------------------------


        >> Hmms <<
        Taliban, europop, sheds

    The story behind new documentary, 
    The Queen of Versailles:
http://nyti.ms/QqbR4w

    Damien McBride on the day Gordon 
    Brown became PM:    
http://bit.ly/LQojqX

    Lukas Podoloski does europop:
http://bit.ly/LF6nET

    A rather prescient article on Bob 
    Diamond:
http://ind.pn/LSW1gT

    Oddest petition of the week:
    23 Michael Jackson fans want 
    the Press Council (abolished in 
    1990) to stop saying nasty 
    things about a man who died in 
    2008, because it is "damaging to 
    his name and to his imagine":
http://bit.ly/KOsebH

    Des de Moor... Ramblers' spokesman, 
    singer and now... beer guru:
http://amzn.to/MDbAsr

    Favourite sheds:
http://bit.ly/LQofHE

    Taliban poems:
http://bit.ly/MCjMMk

    Schillings don't just harangue websites 
   on behalf of their celebrity clients:
http://bit.ly/MY28OQ


     >> Stuff about Popbitch <<

* Email us stories, gossip, otter pics:
hello@popbitch.com

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*********************************************
Thanks to: theabominablehoman, LT, le, 
deep_stoat, I_J, DK, IH, monstris,
mount_st_nobody, DH, G, minky_chunky,
LesGoodman65
*********************************************


Old Jokes Home
Shopping for antiques won't make you gay, 
but it will make you buy curios.


Still Bored? 
Mitt Romney looking longingly...
http://bit.ly/KOxWdx
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