If you are not acquainted with the completely ridiculous 'thing' that is Made in Chelsea, then you won't know who Mark-Francis Vandelli is, which is a massive shame for you.
The cast of Made in Chelsea are officially described as “a group of socially elite twenty-somethings, who live in some of London’s most exclusive postcodes” which roughly translates to “a bunch of complete twats who wore red trousers in their public school days, all look like horses, and loiter the streets of soulless West London, trying to act”. Ahem.
Anyway, Mark-Francis is the shimmering beacon of light in the darkness. A diamond in a sea of turds. We’re not sure if he is a real human being or has been beamed down from another planet. He basically appears briefly in every episode, either to make a scathing comment about some peasant’s fashion sense (“Vermillion mini skirt. That is not a look.”) or organise a fabulous plot point/party with the skull faced dead-eyed hanger on that is Victoria. Just watch him in action:
But who is Mark-Francis, exactly? Is he an actual person with feelings and emotions? Or is he actually played by an actor? This upsets us greatly to even consider. So we did some digging around to try and seperate the man from the myth. Here are some things we learnt:
1. According to Wikipedia, he attended St Paul’s and UCL.
2. He is the editor of ‘a magazine’. WHAT MAGAZINE?!
3. His mother was a Russian princess and muse. This explains his full name, Mark-Francis Vandelli Orlov-Romanovsky. Amazing.
4. But wait, Mrs Orlov-Romanovsky sounds quite interesting. Let’s do some research on her.
5. Jesus christ, he is only 22.
6. Anyway, Mark Francis’ mother is called Diane Boulting-Casserley Vandelli. She was an ambassador for Yves Saint Laurent in the 70s and 80s.
7. There is not much about her on the internet. There are no photos. This is disappointing.
8. The name Orlov-Romanovsky can be traced back to the Russian Imperial family. However, we couldn’t find any link from Mark-Francis to them.
9. Apparently MIC’s producers wanted Mark-Francis to be ‘the star of the show’. He wanted to remain mysterious.
10. This is a tragedy, because Mark-Francis improves the programme ten fold everytime he blesses it with his presence.
Well, we’re still no closer to unveiling the Myth That is Mark-Francis. Perhaps it’s better that way. Here are some quotes from the great man:
“I have a penchant for over-accessorising, it’s in my blood. I’m a maximalist, I just can’t help it.”
“There’s nothing more depressing than going to a dinner party where there are no flowers.”
“An overly tanned stomach is never chic.”
“Never talk of the opera in front of those who don’t frequent it.”
“Inebriation is never chic.”
UPDATE: after more searching, we have read some interesting claims: “He used to go out with Matthew Williamson”, “He’s a jeweller”, “No, he’s a PR executive”, “He doesn’t actually have a job at all.” Hmm.