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Confess something you've never told anyone else

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I sit outside Spank's window whispering "Kill yourself" while he's sleeping.

deep_stoat Tue 16 Dec 20:48, (Answer / reply)

I was a mindless vandal in the early 90s and never caught although my 'work' made the local press numerous times. There was a GBP5000 reward for catching me at one point.

soapy_handerton Tue 16 Dec 10:55, (Answer / reply)

Fiona Woolf gives me wood.

whats_the_beef_chief Tue 16 Dec 11:40, (Answer / reply)

People mistake it for a tumpsy, but it's really just a cloaca.

dawnsyndrome Tue 16 Dec 9:52, (Answer / reply)

I am Mike_Hunt off of Popbitch pun cunt offs

mike_hunt Mon 15 Dec 8:36, (Answer / reply)

a colleague and i were coming home pissed on the train from a work do. i fell asleep and when i woke up he'd got off at the correct stop, leaving me asleep, travelling deep into kent. he'd left his laptop behind though, so i put it in a bin and denied all knowledge of seeing it. he got in loads of trouble :)

__________ Tue 16 Dec 15:17, (Answer / reply)

I once beat a mallard to death with a brick

qm Wed 17 Dec 10:39, (Answer / reply)

I cry myself to sleep most nights

spank_daley Tue 16 Dec 17:33, (Answer / reply)

I was employed by Jimmy Savile to sort out any 'problems' if he got caught in a bad situation. I was under instruction to warn the potential whistle blower with a quick "now then, now then". They would then get their choice of jewellery as Jimmy (as he liked to be called) stood still like a tiered prize stand at the fair. The worse the situation Jimmy (as he liked to be called) was discovered in then the bigger the piece of jewellery that could be chosen as a bribe. A simple titty fumble of an underage girl on live TV could be sorted out for the price of a simple gold ring whereas him getting caught, by Mr T, inside a recently deceased little girl that he had dressed in his mum's clothes, cost us a lot. Once the transaction was complete the, now friendly, inquisitor was given a gold badge declaring I Fixed It For Jim.

scat_man Tue 16 Dec 19:48, (Answer / reply)

What is your worst ever purchase?

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Apart from the new X Factor single (obviously, what are your favourite tracks of the year?

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Confess something you've never told anyone else

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