I'd like to be a teenager now. School standards are so low, that exams are a piece of piss, and even if I do fuck them up I can blame it on so-called 'dyslexia'. All the music I liked growing up in the 70s/80s is still available so I'm not missing out on that front. The internet means I won't spend my years being a frustrated bummer and can hook up with married men whenever I like. Video games are better and there's more skateparks than ever, so one doesn't have to settle for the two kerbs and a handrail for fun. Finally, most of my peers will be off killing each other, so I can blatantly walk in to a quality job as a 'consultant', teaching people twice my age about things I've never actually done myself.