Popbitch Popquiz // Latest Edition
Featuring eight brand new rounds of trivia, gossip, music and guesswork, inc. Celebrity Black Belts, Gongs Of Praise, Paint Colour or Porn Star? and a March madness audio round, the latest Play-At-Home Popbitch Popquiz is here. And your Club Popbitch membership means you get it for free.
[Download it here] |
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“I mean we all like a little gossip but dear God!!!” – Britney Spears |
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A second serving of scandal and slander Subscribe
Email stories to us club@popbitch.com
* Cocaine secrets of the stars!
* The mysterious vanishing line!
* PLUS: Some hair of the dog… |
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>> The white stuff << |
Racking it up again |
With GOP rising star Madison Cawthorn casually dropping stories about his Washington colleagues openly doing key bumps and hosting coke-fuelled orgies, while pictures emerged this weekend of a Tory MP posing with chopped white lines on a baking tray – it looks like the classic cocaine scandal is back with a bang.
To mark the occasion, we thought we’d compile some of our favourite celebrity cocaine stories to remind you that it isn’t just boring old politicians doing it.
It’s boring old musicians, actors and celebs too… |
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Gak is officially valid as a Scrabble word. (It scores 8.) |
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>> Top gear << |
Kate’s coke tiers |
One of cocaine’s most high-profile ambassadors, Kate Moss, has a rather neat trick for dealing with the sorts of coke hogs she finds drawn to her at parties.
Not wanting to risk a reputation as a selfish host (but not wanting to dish out premium gear to every last +1 she meets either) Kate has a clever solution: she keeps two entirely separate cocaine stashes. A “premium” one, reserved for friends and fellow celebrities. The other, for “visitors”, is made up of the dregs and leftovers from other wraps that she lets strangers clear up. |
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Celebs’ favoured terms for cocaine, pt.1: Stephen Fry = Jazz Salt, Ozzy Osbourne = Krell, Simon Cowell = Gam. |
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>> Coke/Head << |
The devil’s dandruff |
There was a fake quote whizzing around social media this weekend which appeared to show David Warburton MP claiming the white powder he was photographed with wasn’t cocaine but his own collected dandruff. It was a hoax – but such was the grim, grey look of Warburton’s stash it’s no surprise some people fell for it.
It’s not the only time the two substances have been mixed up either.
Back in the day, Metallica used to lay on a huge amount of cocaine backstage for the aftershow party, drawing out the band’s logo in a thick line and leaving silver spoons out for anyone who wanted to help themselves.
Over the years, the band mostly cut back on their intake – and their parties on tour became much more sedate. Except for one memorable night at the Covent Garden Hotel, where one of the band stood in the middle of the room, trying to snort lines off the top of his chiropractor’s bald head. |
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Danny Devito tells a story about going to a Hollywood party in the 80s where all the guests’ names were spelled out in cocaine on glass tables. Arnold Schwarzenegger did pretty well out of it, as Danny recalls. |
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>> Vanish powder << |
A disappearing act |
It’s probably quicker to list the celebs who haven’t done cocaine than the ones who have – but you might wonder why relatively few stars get turned over by the tabs for indulging. It’s not just luck. Some celebs take strict precautions to maintain their privacy.
Mel C (who, for a time, enjoyed the unofficial nickname ‘Snorty Spice’) had quite a rigorous ritual to ensure she was never witnessed by anyone. Rather than ever enjoy a sniff in front of others, what would happen instead was that someone in her entourage would chop out a line somewhere in the room and leave it out. Everyone else would then step out for a brief moment, leaving Mel alone in the room. And when they came back in, mysteriously, the line would be gone – its disappearance totally unexplained. |
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Celebs’ favoured terms for cocaine, pt.2: Princess Margaret = Naughty Salt, Richard Wilson = Boosty-Woosty, Ian McCulloch = Shake’n’Vac. |
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>> Blurred lines << |
Dabbling for the 1000th time |
The spiritual home of cocaine in London is the Groucho Club, where some of the UK’s most prominent snorters have done their best business. Alex James (former Blur bassist; current Chipping Norton cheese slinger) is one of the club’s Hall Of Famers and has a faithful trick he falls back on for getting a decent noseful of a night out.
Whenever he’s mingling with strangers who look like they might be able to lay on a few lines, Alex likes to pretend that he’s never done cocaine before, but finds the whole thing very intriguing and would be quite interested to try a bit if they’re offering.
If anyone’s gullible enough to fall for this, they’ll be stuck with him all night as he miraculously develops a ravenous taste for it. |
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missus writes: “The worst gak I ever shared was from Dave from Blur and Liam Gallagher. Remember when Liam got let off that possession charge? There was so little coke in his coke, Liam wrote his dealer a thank-you letter.” |
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>> Dennis v Menace << |
More tales from the Groucho |
SM writes:
“One night at the Groucho club, Les Dennis found himself in the company of Keith Allen and Alex out of Blur. When closing time came poor Les was so keen to come across as one of the lads that he invited the uncouth gak monsters back to his rather immaculate, Hello! style house in North London.
“Chang-fuelled bacchanalia ensued. Les, a non-user, could only watch in horror as his hospitality was abused, and followed the yobs around the house with a cloth and a duster, cleaning up spillages and mess, making cups of tea for them as they gakked into daylight…” |
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Keith Allen used to paint crap pictures and Damien Hirst used to sign them, which they’d then sell to hapless restaurant owners around Soho for five grand a pop to keep them in beak and beer. |
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>> Dirty animal << |
The hair of the dog |
Gary Busey’s monster cocaine habit started in 1979 when some who introduced themselves as The Devil handed him a box containing a huge rock of cocaine that had the letters GB carved in it.
Things got so bad for Gary that he once resorted to snorting coke off his pet dog, Chili. The pup had rolled around in a pile of it when Gary had accidentally dropped his stash on the floor. Unwilling to write off this spilled gak, he spent 25 minutes brushing her coat and snorting whatever he could salvage – alongside all the fleas, dirt, hair and other bonus goodies that came with it.
His review? “It’s not a good flavour, coming off the dog.” |
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Duran Duran’s John Taylor used to claim that he shared a cocaine dealer with Harry Secombe in the 80s. |
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>> Finish line << |
Noel’s in-house party |
Another celeb who once got turned over by the tabloids in a big “MY DRUGS SHAME!” scoop was Noel Fielding. After the public pillory, Noel tended to keep his partying a little more low-key, choosing to hang out with pals or at private members’ clubs.
He turned up to one such Soho club in the wee small hours shortly after this tabloid run-in to find that friends (including at least one of Snow Patrol) had racked up the club’s infamous Yard Of Gak. In honour of the recent press intrusion he’d suffered, everyone thought it was only right that Noel get the first run at it.
But Noel mistook the situation, thinking that the communal coke was laid on especially for him – and tried to do the whole thing up himself. He managed to hoover up to about a third of it before someone intervened. |
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Princess Margaret used to host cocaine races where she and guests would set up huge lines on the polished floors of the palace and see who could get to the end of them quickest. |
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>> Popquiz << |
This week’s audio rounds |
Having polished off the 80s, we’re going to keep powering through and take care of the 90s now too. That means for the next fortnight, we’re going to put together ten 3-minute mixes – one for each year of the 90s, made up from ten of its best-selling songs.
Some of them are simple. Others are a little harder to recall. You get a point for every song title you correctly identify and a further point if you can name the act/artist.
Monday’s theme: 1990
[Play it here] |
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The most recent quiz can always be played [here], which auto updates. If you miss one, or want to catch up on the 100+ audio quizzes we’ve already done, there’s an archive [here]. |
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Thanks to: deep_stoat, lesmcqueeen, SM, MR, J, MH, missus |
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Old Jokes Home
Nearly turned up late for my Cocaine Awareness Course last night.
I was cutting it fine. |
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