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Get previous Second Serve issues [here]
The Popbitch Popquiz archive is [here]
The Daily Audio Quiz archive is [here] |
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“I didn’t know how to pay my rent, my bills… I didn’t even know how much a pint of milk was” – Tulisa |
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A second serving of scandal and slander Subscribe
Email stories to us club@popbitch.com
* Strange piggybacks for Florence
* Special willy oil for Amanda
* PLUS: Festival reminisicences… |
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>> Star spotting << |
Hidden influences in pop, pt.563 |
There’s never any predicting what the clickbait cycle will get its teeth into from moment to moment, so we were surprised on Friday to find an old Popbitch favourite going semi–viral – pretty much four years ago to the day that we first ran it.
We can’t figure out why exactly, but a bunch of online news sites from the Sun to LadBible all suddenly became obsessed with a fact we first wrote up in June 2019: that the person who influenced Cathy Dennis to write the song Toxic for Britney was Noel Fitzpatrick, a.k.a. C4’s Supervet.
As that will be old news to you, here’s another example of an unlikely British TV star being covertly alluded to in modern pop. Halsey wrote the song Colors about Matty Healy from The 1975. Which means the line “Your mother only smiled on her TV show” is a direct reference to Denise Welch and Loose Women. |
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Mel C says Peter Crouch was in a crowd scene in the movie Spice World. Apparently he told Mel C he just turned up after going down there with his sisters. (Sure…) |
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>> Quantitive greasing << |
Pouring oil on troubled waters |
As the spotlight slowly sets on Phillip Schofield and ITV, the troubles are only just beginning at Schofe’s former talent agency YMU. News broke at the weekend that one of the company’s directors quietly stepped down recently amid news that YMU’s latest accounts show losses of £4.8m and they are bringing in financial advisors to discuss a potential ‘restructuring’.
Adding a little frisson to that rather dry news is the fact that the director in question is Chris Hughes: husband of flagship YMU signing Amanda Holden.
Although he might be better known to longtime Popbitch readers as the guy Amanda was once heard saying has such a big willy that he needs a ‘special oil’ to get it in. |
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Spotted taking his step-daughter around halls at Edinburgh Uni late last week… Ant McPartlin! |
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>> Crouching tiger << |
Hidden Doctor |
As it’s Glastonbury this week, we thought a few stories to get you into the festival mood wouldn’t go amiss.
There’s usually two types of celeb you’ll find at a festival. There’s the type that only mingles in the backstage area, watching shows from the wings and being strictly VIP. Then there’s the type who hangs out front of house, slumming it with the proles, getting smashed and mucking in with the moshpits – enjoying the proper festival experience.
And then you have Matt Smith, who likes to enjoy festivals as a punter, but tries to fly under the radar by painting his face like a tiger each day. That way, he finds the fans who clock him are more inclined to mutter to friends “That guy with the tiger face looks a bit like Matt Smith, doesn’t he?” rather than approach him for selfies. |
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Florence Welch isn’t afraid of attracting attention at festivals. In fact, during an Arctic Monkeys set at Glastonbury she was seen working her way round the crowd, tapping strangers’ shoulders and asking “DID WE USED TO GO TO SCHOOL TOGETHER?” – before then asking if they could give her a piggy back so she could see the stage. |
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>> Toilet talk << |
Lines for the loos |
Babs writes:
“A friend and I stayed in a caravan in the VIP backstage area at Glastonbury. Next to us were Keith Allen and his mates in a collection of small tents. They were perfectly pleasant.
“On the Sunday morning I came home from a late night out and found my friend sitting very happily in the caravan. She’d been letting the gang use our toilet and shower in return for treats – a line for the loo, a pill for the shower – and was high as a kite.” |
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S writes: “I worked a few backstage bars at Glastonbury. One year a friend of mine stopped Nigel Kennedy eating grass (the lawn variety) off his head on ketamine.” |
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>> Big Answers << |
Who wants to know? |
Festivals have provided some interesting Big Questions over the years. Here’s a few answers.
In PB653 we mentioned a comedian at Latitude who prepared for their turn with a pint of wine and a comedian who celebrated the festival by liberally sharing coke spliffs around backstage?
* They were, in order, Eddie Izzard and Keith Allen.
In PB884 we asked: “Which of the performers at this weekend’s All Points East festival got a much better reception than she did on a previous visit to London? After taking the hump with staff at the since-closed HMV on Oxford Street during an appearance there many years back, she left a juicy protest turd on the floor of the staff toilets.”
* That was Bjork.
In PB we mentioned that the (predominantly white) crowd at Kendrick Lamar’s set at last year’s Glastonbury mostly chose to self-censor and refrained from singing along to the n-word whenever Kendrick used it – except for one member of the Made in Chelsea cast who carried on belting it out at the top of her lungs.
* That was Verity Bowditch. |
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JL writes: “I tripped over a circus tent guy-rope at Glastonbury, fell into someone and puked on their shoes. Looked up to apologise, it was Michael Eavis. Instead of apologising, I said ‘Thank you for having us’. He was very nice, told me it was his pleasure and asked if I was OK.” |
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>> Out of order << |
Gassing the godfather of soul |
Festival toilets for punters are legendarily horrible, but the backstage VIP bogs aren’t all sunshine and roses either.
When James Brown appeared at T In The Park in 2005, he had the misfortune of following New Order’s Bernard Sumner into the portaloos. After making a particularly ripe deposit, Sumner was keen to escape unseen – but bumped into James as he was vacating the loo and was still within earshot when Brown locked the door and let out a muffled “Good GOD!” |
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Doctor Who star Paul McGann used to run the backstage bar at the Jazz World/West Holts stage at Glastonbury. He told enquiring punters that he did it so he could spend some quality time with his son, who also used to work there. |
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>> Popbits << |
This week’s audio quizzes |
In keeping with the Glastonbury theme, this week’s audio rounds are going to be based around the big acts who played the major stages there over the decades.
Each day we’ll pick ten acts who played the festival in one of the last five decades. All you have to do is identify which ten acts are in the mix and which ten songs they’re performing. Give yourself a point for each act and each song; twenty points in total.
Monday’s Theme: Glastonbury 80s
[Play it here] |
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Did we celebrate #420 with a weed-themed round? No. Mostly because we did that for #192. Try it – and hundreds of others – in the Popbitch Audio Quiz archive [Play here] |
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Thanks to: ulysses, babs, JL, S, AP, JT, NWR, JB |
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Old Jokes Home
I told a joke in a Zoom meeting today but nobody laughed.
Turns out I’m not remotely funny. |
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