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Get previous Second Serve issues [here]
The Popbitch Popquiz archive is [here]
The Daily Audio Quiz archive is [here] |
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“I don’t feel like I’m nude when I’m nude” – Naomi Campbell |
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A second serving of scandal and slander Subscribe
Email stories to us club@popbitch.com
* Drunken adventures of Mr Bean
* Stormzy takes over PBHQ
* PLUS: Footie pros v kids |
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>> Rolled over << |
A wheely bad look |
Richard Tice had a tricky time drumming up any attention in Clacton last week, what with Farage stealing all the milky thunder.
Nobody seemed that eager to speak to him. Except for two women who appeared delighted to see Tice and even asked for a picture. Unfortunately one of them was so enamoured with the Reform UK chairman that she forgot to hold onto her friend’s wheelchair while snapping the selfie.
The wheelchair, with the friend still in it, started rolling away and had to be sprinted after, somewhat ruining the photo op. |
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Love Island Harriett’s previous claim to fame: she was a personal shopper for rapper Arrdee. |
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>> Tough love << |
Your boys took one helluva beating |
Rio Ferdinand was in the Guardian this weekend, bragging that he’s never let his kids beat him at football. Perhaps a little harsh on his four-year old, but he’s not the only footballer to take no prisoners when it comes to kids.
* Michael Owen took great pride in pasting a teenage fan in a promotional video for his book ‘Michael Owen’s Soccer Skills: How to Become the Complete Footballer’. “Well done he’s thirteen”, says an unimpressed Neville Southall of Owen’s aforementioned skills.
* Years ago Bayern Munich CEO Oliver Kahn took part in a charity penalty shoot-out against a group of nine-year-olds. For each goal scored, the club would donate money to an orphanage. Kahn saved nearly all of them. “Nobody told me back then that every goal meant a donation,” Kahn said later. Though that presumably explained why all those German orphans were crying.
* England goalie Joe Hart took it one step further during an appearance at a community centre while filming a package for Children In Need. Joe was in goal for a penalty shoot-out against some young carers when one of the kids (also nine) started taunting him about the fact he’d been dropped by Man City. Joe responded by booting the kids ball over the roof of the community centre and out of the grounds. Then didn’t let in a single goal for the rest of the day. |
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Colin Farrell and Tilda Swinton are off to Macau for the summer to film “a high-stakes gambling saga, The Ballad of a Small Player” with Edward Berger directing. Macau-based readers, it’s your duty to sign up as an extra and report back to us. Apply by email: lumieremacaucasting@gmail.com. |
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>> NDA (Taylor’s Version) << |
She’s the problem, it’s her |
Tucked away in the Sunday Times’s Swiftoggeddon long-read this weekend were some interesting nuggets about Taylor’s life before megastardom. For instance:
* When Taylor played Sandy in a school performance of Grease, she helpfully handed out wallet-sized photographs of herself for the younger children to cherish and keep.
* She kept a notebook filled with autographs (her own).
* She once brought her pony into school for show and tell.
None of the piece’s good gossip came from the current residents of Taylor’s old Wyomissing childhood home though – as they’ve been warned by Swift’s team not to speak to anyone. Except People Magazine. |
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Forget the new King Charles banknotes. We want the Scottish ones with otters on them. |
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>> Coronation fees << |
A Rovers Return fare |
News broke last week that Dev from Corrie has been banned from a local branch of B&Q over the suspected theft of a sample pot of paint. Dev maintains his innocence, but he does have an established reputation for penny-pinching.
According to the off-script gossip on the Coronation Street studio tour, guides will quietly let slip that Dev is well-known for coming in on days when he’s not filming to make use of the studio’s car park – so that he doesn’t have to pay city centre prices for parking. |
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Nile Rodgers has been talking about his cocaine years, and the night his heart stopped and he had to be resuscitated. What had he been doing to get into that state? Partying with Robert Downey Jnr. |
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>> Storm drain << |
With Friends like these |
Stormzy opened a new club this weekend to great fanfare: “House Party London” – a seven floor nightclub/bar on Poland Street.
It was a slightly bittersweet announcement for us here at PBHQ though, as the venue was our previous home. We worked out of a room of that building for the best part of a decade when it was the notorious Soho drinking den Milk & Honey.
We were glad to see the building being brought back to life after four years of sitting empty. But we rather fear the old Popbitch office is now playing host to one of the worst ideas in the history of London nightlife.
Stormzy’s secret “Joey and Chandler” room – done up to pay tribute to the Friends set – with a private mini-fridge and media centre. |
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‘Bored of Lunch: The Healthy Air Fryer Book’ was the best-selling book on Amazon in the UK in 2023. |
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>> Bogged down << |
The adventures of Mr Bean |
Sean Bean insists that getting in a scrap and being booted out of a club in Liverpool for vaping last week was all a big misunderstanding, but we’re sceptical. He’s got form with big nights out. One reader told us about a run-in they had with him many years back.
Sean was enjoying a brief liaison with our reader’s flatmate and the two would often frequent the local pubs together. After last orders, the pair usually retired to Sean’s place to carry on through till dawn. Except for the time they were discovered by Sean’s grown-up daughter and forced to relocate.
“That night my girlfriend and I came home to find them both sozzled on our sofa. Sean’s knuckles were all scuffed from some scrap he’d been in and he was barely coherent but mumbling pleasantries all the same.”
He was so sozzled that he eventually accidentally locked himself in their bathroom. “I spent half an hour talking to him through the door, guiding him on how to jiggle the lock open before taunting him with lines from Goldeneye, as it seemed to be by only frame of reference I had at that time of night and in that situation.
“Eventually I found a 10p coin and got him out by jimmying the lock, whereupon he skulked off to bed.” |
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The Royal family might hate the Crown – but they think The Windsors is hilarious. |
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If you want to try the previous three Foreign Covers rounds, they’re here [I / II / III]. For the 600+ others, you can get them [here]. |
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>> Hmmms << |
A few quick things |
The NYT is currently obsessed with British journalists in NY media
[Read here]
Horny zoo animals blast Brexit
[Read on Times]
A slight oversight on our part last Thursday: we didn’t link to Black Lace’s infamous “Blue Album” – the X-rated re-recordings of their best known hits
[“Agadoo” = “Have A Screw”, etc]
Also, a young Jane McDonald appeared in Black Lace’s original “Superman” video.
[About 51 seconds in] |
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Thanks to: RL, CW, EN, CG, R, babs |
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Old Jokes Home
Q/ Why is Jesus so popular with Gen Z?
A/ Because he is rizzin’ |
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