New To Club Popbitch?
Get previous Second Serve issues [here]
The Popbitch Popquiz archive is [here]
The Daily Audio Quiz archive is [here] |
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“If Nickelback is the thing you get most upset about, you’re living a charmed life” – Mike Kroeger, Nickelback’s bassist |
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A second serving of scandal and slander Subscribe
Email stories to us club@popbitch.com
* Warrior’s on gash patrol
* Wolf puke at the theme park
* PLUS: More Gladiator run-ins |
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>> Love/sick << |
Holly and the high sea |
Holly Valance is really leaning in to her new role as right-wing pundit and thinkfluencer, doing a media blitz at the weekend with GB News and the Kyle and Jackie O Show.
Our favourite titbit she let slip: that her husband, the multi-millionaire property tycoon Nick Candy, bought her a AU$50m superyacht as a present.
Despite the fact she suffers from severe sea sickness. |
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Hugh Grant’s piano teacher was Andrew Lloyd Webber’s mum. |
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>> Media wars << |
Shakira v Pique |
It’s been over a year since Shakira released a diss track about her ex Gerald Pique (and even longer since those incredible reports emerged that she’d figured out he was cheating on her as his mistress had been eating her strawberry jam) – but the briefing wars kicked off again this weekend, with both Shakira and Pique giving solo interviews to the The Times.
Shakira, in summary:
* Has a rabbit called Toby
* Got rejected from the school choir as her teacher said she sounded like a goat
* When she was learning to write English lyrics she took her inspiration from Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen and Walt Whitman
* Thinks that love between athletes and artists is doomed because “empathy is key to an artist’s worth; an athlete is in a constant state of war and has to avoid empathy at all costs”
Meanwhile Pique:
* Doesn’t really like football
* Can’t be bothered to watch 90 minute matches
* Is promoting 7-a-side football with odd rules, called King’s League, which has 20 minute halves that kids watch on Twitch
* Loves VR |
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Pedro Pascal got his start in Hollywood appearing in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, playing Sunnydale student Eddie in the season four premiere. (He turned into a vampire and Buffy killed him.) |
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*** A GLADIATORS RUN-IN SPECIAL ***
>> Snaky tactics << |
Cobra from accounts |
JSA writes:
“When I was in Year 7, our school in a sleepy Birmingham suburb organised a visit from Cobra from Gladiators. As you can imagine we were all very excited to meet him, wondering what feats of strength he would be performing for us.
“The whole year queued up to meet him and have their photo taken with the star. We were then ushered along to fill in some forms and sign up to a NatWest bank account. I still have the photo and the bank account to this day.” |
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KC writes: “As a teenager I met Rhino from Gladiators three times without meaning to. Each time he gave me a pre-signed picture of himself that I hadn’t asked for. Seemed a lovely guy though!” |
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>> Wolf pack << |
A bad guy two-fer |
R writes:
“I worked on an awful, low budget film in the 90s called The Bruce. Producers signed ex-Gladiator Wolf as the stereotypical hard man. His reputation was tarnished when the crew discovered the only person allowed to style his flowing mane was his girlfriend. She was responsible for back combing and pinning his hair over his ever-increasing bald patch which she’d already sprayed with black paint.”
SPM writes:
“Wolf was the Guest of the Day at Alton Towers back in the mid nineties at the height of the original Gladiators. He went on the (then-new) Nemesis ride, and when he got off and families with kids were queuing up for autographs, he bent down, hands on knees and proceeded to spew up everywhere.” |
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KP writes: “As my school was quite local to the NEC, we had a few Gladiators visiting. Jet once came to celebrate the opening of a new wheelie bin.” |
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>> Gash patrol << |
Warrior: careful with pounding |
PD writes:
“Back in the day I worked in Netto in Kirkby. A young co-worker was going out with Warrior from Gladiators apparently. She managed to cut her hand in work rather bloodily. She kept saying very loudly how bad it was – and one of the things she kept shouting in a Scouse accent was ‘Awww no, look at me gash!’
“I kept using this joke relentlessly and she told me her fella was going to fill me in for it as he wasn’t happy about it. Anyway, he was dropping her off one day and I said I thought he was coming to do me in. She was fuming as she told me ‘He didn’t want to pay the quid for parking’.” |
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LE writes: “Saracen used to train in the gym above the bus station in Halesowen and he was regularly seen driving around in his Vauxhall Frontera with a custom ‘Saracen’ spare wheel cover at the back.” |
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>> Power: out << |
Memories of Vince |
Vince Power had a reputation in the industry for being a bit of a tough nut, but there was a softy hiding in there too.
Vince used to drive a massive cadillac everywhere, which made him quite a conspicuous presence out on the road. One day, he broke down right on the Hammersmith roundabout, making him absolutely unmissable. A punter stopped to ask him if he was alright and to find out where he was headed. Heathrow, was Vince’s answer – and he was already late.
This Good Samaritan offered Vince a lift to Heathrow and Vince, being super grateful, assured the guy he’d sort him out.
One week later, a card arrived in the post. Inside was a black Mean Fiddler credit card, granting the guy and his guests free entry to any MF gig, anywhere, any time for the next year. Every time he turned up at the door with five guests – he showed his card and was ushered in. He even used it to get into Reading festival. |
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BB writes: “Kim Williams (Lightning) was in my maths class at school. My most memorable of her classroom distractions was when she wrote rude words on a load of Polos and put them back in the pack, before handing them round to everyone. I got ‘cunt’ from what I remember.” |
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>> Popbits << |
This week’s audio quizzes |
Last week we served up mixes with themes like Klingon Covers, Sad Bangers, Blitz Kids and John “Mutt” Lange. This week we have another five for you to test your pop knowledge.
Even if you don’t know the score by now, you’ll pick it up – we swear. All you have to do is listen to the ten tracks in each mini-mix, then try to name all the acts you heard and the titles of their songs. Give yourself a point for each one you get right and you should end up with a score out of twenty.
Monday’s Theme: French Touch
[Play it here] |
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We’re coming up on nearly 600 rounds – so if you’re needing to catch up, they’re all available to play [here] |
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>> Hmmms << |
A few quick things |
Can you name the film the song is from?
[Play Needledrop]
A handy list of the members of the Garrick Club – inc. Crispin Odey, Benedict Cumberbatch and Kate Middleton’s gynaecologist…
[Read on The Guardian]
“I Was A TOPGUN Instructor – The Movie Dogfighting Is Pretty Realistic”
[Read on Business Insider] |
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Thanks to: JSA, KC, RW, SPM, KP, LE, deep_stoat, BB |
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Old Jokes Home
Q/ Why is The Lion Sleeps Tonight such a catchy song?
A/ Because the urge to sing it is only ever a whim away. |
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