***************************************
Win tickets to Tate Britain’s Lowry and the Painting of Modern Life, the first show held by a London public institution since the artist’s death. Email your details to competitions@akauk.com with Tate/Popbitch in the subject line by 26 June: http://bit.ly/16dyuRW
****************************************
“Before I became a mum, a lot of women couldn’t relate to me” – Imogen Thomas
“I find solace in airport terminals” – Amber (Made in Chelsea) Atherton
POPBITCH _ _ _ _
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| ‘_ \ / _ \| ‘_ \| ‘_ \| | __/ __| ‘_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 13.06.13 ISSUE 646
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to https://www.popbitch.com
To send stories email: hello@popbitch.com
* Bob Mills: gay pin up
* Celebrity drug stings
* Charts: Robin Thicke still no 1
>> Ducky Butter <<
Liberace, Scott and Jacko
Since Behind The Candelabra was released, Liberace’s boy-toy Scott Thorson has been all over the media, claiming he was also sleeping with Michael Jackson in the late 70s/early 80s.
Obviously Jackson’s not around to confirm or deny Thorson’s story, but here, in 1981, is Scott sitting next to Jacko, being driven around Beaulieu Motor Museum with Liberace, by Lord Montagu of Beaulieu. While Liberace and Thorson were very friendly and chatty, Jackson uttered not one word the whole day.
At one point Liberace is said to have owned 39 pianos, 32 cars and 26 dogs.
>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking
Katie Waissel appears to have a profile on a popular online dating site under the name katiekatielauren. She says she loves to watch Come Dine With Me, says nothing beats staying in with a takeaway and says she’d be happy to go out with a ‘cigar aficionado’.
She seems happy to admit that her favourite book is Fifty Shades Of Grey and to list her politics as “conservative”. So why is it claiming that she’s never been married?
Rumour at Glastonbury is that the Stones’ stage has something built into it to do projections. Brian Jones maybe?
>> Street dunce <<
Tulisa’s Indian summer
The Sun has continued to flog their Tulisa tales, while her team have been in full crisis-management mode, with many stories showing the distinctive fingerprints of her manager ‘Professor’ Jonathan Shalit. This rumour, however, sounds so ludicrous it just might be true.
The bait used by the Sun to lure Tulisa was supposedly fame and riches in Bollywood. The Fake Sheikh told her that Indians may struggle with her ‘street’ accent and she should consider elocution lessons. Unfortunately Tulisa misunderstood, and spent much of the rest of the meeting speaking in a fake Indian accent like something out of It Ain’t Half Hot Mum.
The Chairman of Ofwat (the Water Services Regulation Authority) is called Jonson Cox.
>> Fixin’ to ill <<
Good Leon or bad Leon
“Celebrity fixer” Leon Anderson was an unlikely target for a recent Sun on Sunday cover story. Anderson – often pictured in the entourage of stars such as Rihanna and Chris Brown – was stitched up when arranging some class As for the paper.
But who dobbed him in, and why did The Sun go so big on a lowly member of the celeb circuit? There are two interesting theories going around.
Back in January One Direction star Zayn Malik was turned over by the paper and a kiss and tell stripper. The other person at the pop star’s house that night? Leon Anderson. Leon apparently met Zayn through Justin Bieber.
So the theories: One, it was 1Ds people, desperate to get him away from their cash cow. Two, it was Bieber’s crew, angry at Leon for failing to arrange enough weed for them. Which means Leon either got turned over because he was a bad influence on a pop star. Or because he wasn’t bad enough.
****************************************
Competition – win four tickets to Windsor Races Ladies Night next Monday and meet X Factor’s Jahmene Douglas. Details and enter here by end today! http://bit.ly/18B55p7
****************************************
>> Zip it <<
Bob Mills gay fun
Bob Mills got in a bit of trouble last week for suggesting that he could ‘turn’ noted lesbian Clare Balding.
It’s a bold claim, but Bob Mills does have some previous form with the gay community. His naked shoot for gay magazine Zipper in 1979 was very well regarded. So perhaps that’s where all the bravado came from.
There are six people registered in the UK as being officially named Shakin’ Stevens. None of them is the Shakin’ Stevens.
>> Apeing the Habsburgs <<
Snowflake stepped in royal footsteps
Father giles writes:
“The answer to your question [about Snowflake the albino gorilla] is that, his parents being in a generation apart, Snowflake was his own first cousin once removed.
“The Habsburgs, who ruled great swathes of Europe for most of the last millennium were quite keen on incestuous marriages – Kings Philip II and IV of Spain both sired heirs with their nieces, and Philip III and his wife were cousins so many times over they might just as well have been brother and sister. The line became so inbred that it eventually died out with King Charles II. As the Habsburgs had become so grand they would only marry other Habsburgs, you could say their extinction was caused by snobbery.”
Random Indie Band Fact of the Day: Alt-J’s keyboard player’s full name is Augustus Figaro Niso Unger-Hamilton.
>> Breast behaviour <<
Australia reverts to the 70s
Aussie PM Julia Gillard has been having a weird time of it lately. After having a bunch of school kids throw sandwiches at her, she now finds herself being attacked by adults – but in a strangely childish way.
Organisers of a political fund-raiser put a Julia Gillard-themed fried quail dish on the menu, consisting of “small breasts, big thighs and a big red box”. (When Gillard told the media she thought this was sexist, her popularity plummeted.)
Then today she was on Australian radio and the DJ asked her if her partner was gay. The reason for this? Julia’s man is a hairdresser.
FYI: It’s not just politics. The new series of Australia’s Masterchef has a Men v Women theme – where female contestants are branded ‘1950s housewife’ ‘Daddy’s Little Princess’ while men are labelled ‘dude’ and ‘rancher’.
June 2011: Elton packed-out Sussex Cricket Ground with 18k punters.
June 2013: Cliff rumoured to have only sold 4k tickets.
An Operation Yewtree effect hitting oldsters?
>> Shame game <<
Sainsbury’s in; Dennis out?
A couple of weeks ago we revealed that Les Dennis, the face of the Stop Sainsbury’s in Highgate campaign had been spotted shopping in that store. Days later, Dennis put his house up for sale. Come on Les, please stay – it wasn’t THAT bad.
Les Dennis was still enjoying Highgate yesterday – drinking in the Woodman pub. And carrying a bit more timber than in his Family Fortunes days.
>> West in show <<
Kanye has NYT dog’s breakfast
When it comes to talking absolute hogwash, Kanye has long been the high watermark – but he’s outdone himself this week, in an interview with the New York Times.
He describes the instinct which caused him to upstage Taylor Swift leading to nothing but “complete awesomeness.” He claims he is the “Steve [Jobs] of Internet, downtown, fashion, culture. Period.” And generally speaks with a lack of humility that even Kim Jong-Il would have thought a bit much.
“I don’t know if this is statistically right, but I’m assuming I have the most Grammys of anyone my age.”
“I don’t care about the Grammys; I just would like for the statistics to be more accurate.”
It’s endlessly quotable, so we’ll let you enjoy it in its entirety:
http://nyti.ms/1a6UPDy
According to Advertising Age, 46% of online adverts are never seen.
>> Popbits <<
An eclectic selection
1. We’re loving Kolombo & Sharam Jay’s Non Stop. It reminds us a bit of MD Xpress’s God Made Me Phunky:
http://bit.ly/11xP9e0
2. John Newman could knock Plan B’s white-boy soul career into a cocked pork pie hat with this solo debut:
http://bit.ly/14ywRyk
3. You liked Indian pop covers? This week we bring you Slashville Tennessee – the country covers mix. Inc Radiohead and The Killers:
http://bit.ly/11bvJ32
Cockwatching: Phil Spencer “wears very tight trousers that adequately display his healthy sized tumescence.”
>> Hmmms <<
Whale wanking, poop, penises
Want to know how to wank off a killer whale like a professional? (CLUE: It involves a cow’s vagina)
http://bit.ly/14SwziD
Johnny Dean doing Daydreamer, 18 years on:
http://bit.ly/18B3yzs
Which soapstar are you? (Turns out popbitch is Ken Barlow):
http://bit.ly/11Junw5
The craft beer revolution in the States – in pictures:
http://nyr.kr/13zXIZK
Sonic the Hedgehog, as a giant penis (semi-NSFW):
http://bit.ly/1bsuI7S
Interesting piece on the iOS redesign/Apple:
http://bit.ly/12p5xUh
Saffron from Republica has followed in the footsteps of Ian Wright and broken into the Brit gangster movie scene:
http://bit.ly/11JgSMY
****************************************
Thanks to: NW, Nat, C, M, SW, AM, AM, HC, thebestnameshavegone, SG, AP, SG, dansanuglyguy, majorbloodnok, AJ, lafiga, FC, CR, EM
****************************************
Old Jokes Home:
Just got a job playing triangle in a reggae band. It’s pretty easy, I just stand at the back and ting.
Still Bored:
Guess who called the NSA thing five years ago? Yeah. Shia LaBeouf…
http://bit.ly/1963hBw