A Greek Invention

Tom Cruise has been applauded for the firm stance he’s been taking on Covid regulations, after leaked audio of him tearing strips off the crew on the latest Mission: Impossible emerged. But those who have worked on Tom’s films know he’s always been fastidious about health and cleanliness on his sets.

So much so that he has his own people come in and bag up the contents of his personal trailer toilet to take them away.

The Londoner Casino is scheduled to open in Macau in February and features all of the classic tropes you’d expect – Big Ben, beefeaters, a restaurant called Churchill’s Table, etc. But the thing that caught our eye is that David Beckham is listed as a “contributing designer” and a whole floor of the hotel is given over to the Beckham Suites.

We’re interested to see what the Beckham Suite experience entails. If he’s keeping things authentic, you’ll presumably have to rent them two at a time. You go into one while your guest goes into the other, where a security guard will be waiting to take their phone and clothes off them. Once he’s satisfied they aren’t hiding any covert recording equipment, he’ll then send them through an internal adjoining door into your suite where they’ll actually spend the night.

Which former England cricketer had the initials “KD” engraved into his bat? Not because they were his own. Nor because, as he told his coaches, he was “King of Defence”. “KD” was a sly reference to his nickname “King Dong” – earned because of the impressive size of his middle stump.

ITV might have to shuffle around its 2021 schedule to find a late-night slot for the latest series of Family Fortunes as, from the sounds of it, new host Gino D’Acampo keeps a very X-rated set.

We’ll have to wait and see how much of the chit-chat he’s been having with the families makes it to air, but we’re guessing that the conversation he tried to strike up with one set of contestants – a Greek family – about bumming won’t make the cut. Anal is apparently one of Gino’s favourite topics to talk about and he figured they’d probably take an interest in it too, seeing as “the Greeks invented it”.

You’d have never have got that with Les…

Liz Hurley has been announced as one of the guest judges on the next series of RuPaul’s Drag Race UK. It’s a smart hire – and one that will really play to Liz’s strengths as she’ll be right at home with drag names.

Back when she was hosting Series 1 of Project Runway, poor Liz had a devil of a time getting one of the judge’s names right. She could often be found pacing the studio floor before takes, repeating under her breath, “Patrix Cock… Patrix Cock… Pat… Rick… Cox…”

Coronavirus conspiracies are ten-a-penny on the internet, but here’s one we found quite interesting. There’s been a bunch of “Kay Burley’s future at Sky News in doubt” stories in the press this last week after she was taken off-air by bosses for breaching Covid rules on her 60th birthday. Why would a seasoned reporter like Kay jeopardise her career over something so foolish? Well, there’s some growing whispers that it might not have been quite so stupid after all.

Subject to Ofcom approval, there’s a new TV news station due to launch next year. One that’s headed up by some old friends of Kay’s. Unfortunately for her, she’s currently under contract with NBC Comcast. These sorts of contracts, out of necessity, offer very little in the way of wiggle room for employees who want to walk – especially if they’re wanting to walk right into the arms of a rival.

Unless she gets let go, of course. In which case, after a certain period (say, six months?) she’d be free to maybe offer her services elsewhere… GB News, perhaps?

PBHQ was a sad place this week as we lost one of our favourite contributors, confidantes and friends. Theatre producer David Johnson had the best gossip, the best cocktails and once even kindly offered us his sworn testimony during a legal wrangle, saying he’d be more then happy to go to court and tell every judge who’d listen that a certain starlet was an even bigger nightmare than we’d implied.

He brought brilliant artists onto our radar, like Kim Noble, Christeene and Rubberbandits, and was responsible for some of our best events at the Soho Theatre.

And maybe one day we’ll be able to tell you about the huge pay packet he once turned down from a globally famous provocateur, because he refused to accede to the supposed intellectual’s primary demand: that David buy him a tour bus, paint his name in big letters on the side of it and drive it around the UK.

[Other tributes to David]

We’ll be wrapping up our daily mini-editions for the year on Wednesday 23rd, so there’s no real point in us telling you to sign up for the remaining handful. We only mention it as we asked daily readers this week to tell us about the sweariest celebs they’d ever come across – and got a couple of unexpected answers…

AB writes:
“Back in 2004, I floor managed a short-lived VH1 link and clip show called Girls Night In, presented by Lisa Rogers and Natalie Casey. They were lovely hosts and it was filmed ‘as live’ on a Friday in the MTV studios in Camden. We’d had minor celebs in, but then struck lucky one week with Ronan Keating. I don’t think we missed a link, but I don’t know how because I have never heard anyone use the words ‘fuck’ and ‘cunt’ more liberally when the cameras weren’t rolling. It was amazing.”

FT writes:
“I once sat opposite Keith Duffy from Boyzone in Manchester airport. He was on his phone and his machine gun delivery of ‘fuck’, ‘shit’, ‘cunt’, ‘wanker’ was something to behold as he chatted good-naturedly to his mate on the line. As soon as he put his phone away a mother and her small daughter approached for an autograph. Keith was charm personified as he chatted to them and I don’t think he said ‘cunt’ once.”

claret_badger writes:
“Your Queen Mother story about a bar in Clarence House. Not sure if I went to the one you mentioned, but there is actually a bar there (or there used to be). I remember it being called Kath’s Cabin or something. It had a pool table too. Think it was for use by the staff there.

“I got an invite once, so had to be signed in through security, etc. Remember it being a bit dark and dingy. Certainly not palatial.”

The Popbitch Popquiz Xmas Special 2020 is finally here. As has become tradition in recent years, we’ve put together a downloadable version of our notorious pub quiz that you can play with friends (or the more robust members of your family) wherever you end up this holiday season.

Featuring eight brand new rounds of pop culture trivia, music and puzzles, it includes a festive Spot The Difference, a Christmassy audio round, and what might sadly be the final iteration of our long-standing favourite “Morrissey Song or Movie Title?” – now that he’s been dropped by his label.

[Just £5 this year]

The Avalanches nerd out about their new album
[Listen on Double J radio]

An oral history of how the Dominic Cummings day-trip to Barnard Castle story broke
[Read on Vice]

Paul Chuckle is selling “2 Metre U” Chuckle Brothers face coverings on Etsy
[Modelled beautifully]

Moncler are now making winter coats for dogs
[The latest style]

Put a bundle of digital mementos together and send it to someone you can’t spend Xmas with
[Free-to-use service, Shooglebox]

RIP Barbara Windsor
[A nice Babs anecdote]

RIP John le Carré
[Lots of nice le Carré anecdotes]

Cher finally addresses the National Enquirer’s obsession with her being “at death’s door”
[Read on Guardian]

Still Bored?
One of Popbitch’s favourite London wine experts has moved to Brighton and opened 9 Vines Wine and Whisky Shop. Go and buy your festive booze supplies by 1st Jan. Say “I love Popbitch” and get 10% off!
[See 9Vines]