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In exchange, we’ve put together the Popbitch Annual 2016 for you; a free treat for all our readers: http://bit.ly/PBAnnual2016
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“If you thought 2016 was bad – I’m releasing an album in 2017” – James Blunt
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|_| |_|15.12.16 ISSUE 812
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* George and Ken: Broom to spare
* Taylor Swift and the 27 Club
* Charts: Clean Bandit still No.1
>> Grammar nazi <<
Galliano’s bum steer
When footage emerged of him ranting about how much he loved Hitler, many thought that John Galliano’s career would be over. Little did they know that he was simply five years ahead of 2016’s most fashionable curve.
So if you want to get a head start on 2021’s hottest new trend, take a cue from Galliano and start mispronouncing the word “artisanal” now.
His Paris team inwardly cringe every time he loudly places a firm stress on ‘-anal’, but no-one dares correct him.
Someone has been phoning dentists asking if Karren Brady can have a bit of work done for free (saying “It is Lady Brady, you know…”)
>> Broom service <<
Ken and George’s unclean sweep
Q/ What do Ken Livingstone and George Galloway have in common?
a/ Both are currently suspended from the Labour party
b/ Both have been outspoken on the topic of Hitler and Zionism
c/ Both have used the brush-off line when trying to seduce a lady: “Your loss, I’m like a broomhandle in the morning”
d/ All of the above
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Want something to read this Xmas? Try The Ferret Files: a new novel about high finance, a clandestine government project gone awry, drugs, fashion, pop, celebrity culture and a bonkers secret society. The author explains more here: http://bit.ly/PBFerretFiles
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>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Which former Man Utd forward is now making his living by selling coke? (And not in the ‘signed a sponsorship deal with Coca-Cola’ sense; more in the ‘slinging chang to friends-of-friends’ sense.)
Grace Jones’ stylist has a complete costume archive hidden somewhere in the bowels of the Barbican.
>> Northern powerhouse <<
Rising up the table
You might have wondered why Steven Gerrard is so keen to move back to Liverpool from LA – but we think we know. He’s bought a house with a spectacular dining table.
When he’s ready to sit down to dinner, his living room floor retracts and the table rises up to appear from the level below.
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Buy Christmas Lunch for five pounds! With your help someone homeless can tuck into a big turkey dinner with all the trimmings, in the warmth of Connection at St Martin’s. Donate: http://bit.ly/1RzNjYd
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>> Teenage kicks <<
Pop: the new youth club
Modern pop really is getting tame. Last week we told you about The Saturdays’ obsession with talking about fingering. This week we got a tip from one of LA’s most reliably pedestrian gossip stringers about Taylor Swift’s current anguish: she’s trying to hide a new nipple piercing from her parents.
Taylor Swift turned 27 years old this week.
Brexit Effect: For the first time since 2013, London’s water system no longer has the highest traces of cocaine in it. (New #1? Antwerp.)
>> Hotelling tales <<
5AM’s phantom tour
No-one was surprised to see 5AM come in third in the X Factor final last weekend, least of all drinkers in the Ibis Hotel near the Wembley Arena last Wednesday.
They were a little confused to see one of the 5AM boys strolling into the hotel with the Four Of Diamonds girls instead of his bandmates – especially because they were sure they’d read that he was supposed to be aboard a 5AM “battle bus” touring the UK to canvass votes.
No wonder they didn’t get enough support to win.
Nicole, on Honey G: “You put the fun in phenomenal!”
Nicole, on Saara Alto: “You put the fun in funtastical!”
>> Sky II <<
Saving newspapers?
Rupert Murdoch has bid again to take full control of Sky. The reasons for blocking the takeover have been discussed in great detail already, but there’s one upside for News UK journalists if it does go through. Sky execs think it’s pretty likely that the Murdoch stable of newspapers will be offered up as part of the Sky Bundle subscription deal – thereby securing the future of those titles.
A few years back, News Int developed a prototype system to bundle up digital news and magazine subscriptions across a number of different publishers (much like Sky did with various TV channels) but it never got off the ground as the various other media companies didn’t want to see another Murdoch-controlled platform take off.
Looks like they might live to regret it if this new Sky deal means it’ll sort of happen anyway, but without any of them involved.
Gruesome twosome: Bobby Charlton and Eamonn Holmes, having dinner together before the Crystal Palace vs Man U game last night.
>> Under the Radar <<
Sending a clear signal
A few weeks ago we mentioned a breathless puff piece the Guardian ran on Radar Radio, which failed to mention that the station they called “the real home of the UK’s future taste-makers” is actually a vanity project funded by the founder’s dad: Mike Ashley, the widely criticised owner of Sports Direct.
Perhaps it was unfair of us to expect the Guardian to make the connection though as Radar don’t really like to talk about it. In fact, one of the Radar presenters claims they had to sign a non-disclosure agreement promising never to mention Sports Direct on air.