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“I grew up and I looked at my arse, and it got a bit bigger and I’m sexier now” – Rita Ora
“I’ve heard about people getting hurt for sneaker culture in the past. I just want everyone to be safe and be patient” – Kanye West
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|_| |_|12.02.15 ISSUE 725
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* Secret celebrity ambulances
* Vinnie Jones: Spanish teacher
* Charts: Ellie Goulding is no 1
>> Just Justin <<
The wookie monster returns
Justin Lee Collins makes a surprise appearance in the latest issue of FHM. Clearly hoping to do for Lilt what he did for Pukka Pad by giving it his personal seal of approval, JLC is singing the praises of the popular fizzy drink.
But he isn’t featured as a “once-famous TV presenter”. He isn’t even featured as “celebrity sexual madman”. No. Poor old Collins has been relegated to the voxpop pages as “Justin, 40”, a plain old “unspecified” London shopper.
Nasty Nick is no more! Big Brother’s Nick Bateman has commemorated his move down under by changing his name to Jack.
>> All NBC-ing eye <<
The Illuminati claims another
Brian Williams’ suspension from NBC News has had the tongues of US media gossips wagging. Some feel it’s unlikely that execs at NBC didn’t know that Williams was prone to exaggeration, and find it hard to believe that nobody had noticed he’d been telling lies about taking fire. So what’s the real reason for his suspension?
There are currently two rumours doing the rounds. The plausible one is that NBC wanted to be rid of BriWi but weren’t too keen on another network snapping him up. The more interesting one is that he has angered the Illuminati by refusing to flash their symbols live on air.
Mark Ronson’s Uptown Funk is thought to be making around $100k on Spotify alone every week.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Which Brit actor got a bit of a shock recently when he stumbled in on a kinky scene in the pub toilets? A strange man was sat in the urinals, absolutely drenched in piss, getting others to wee on him.
The actor respectfully declined to add to the load.