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Champions Day, Ascot, Sat 19 October: One of the best racedays of the year. More info, tickets, trailer, preview: http://bit.ly/19kg56H
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“Just because we speak the same language doesn’t mean we speak the same language” – Madonna
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|_| |_| 10.10.13 ISSUE 661
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* Boxercise with Brian Cox
* More choad; less Farage
* Charts: Miley v Eminem for no 1
>> Fruit of the loon <<
Nice work if you can get it
When aboard his super yacht, Roman Abramovich wants to be able to dip his hand into any fruitbowl and pull out a piece of fruit that is ready to be enjoyed. Washed, de-stalked and perfectly ripe.
How can such a demand be met? It’s easy when you hire a full-time Fruit Manager – annual salary +30,000 euros – purely to keep your fruit ship-shape.
8th Oct: Cheryl Cole tells the press she split from her bf four months ago. In other news, Cheryl Cole launched a new calendar… on 8th Oct.
>> Big Questions <<
Who is asking what right now
What does it take for the media to get a stern warning letter from Schillings these days? The PR who has been blogging about the Nigella-Saatchi affair all summer achieved it after he upped the ante with an eye-raising blog post last week…
Looking after a new $4.3bn casino bid in Queensland is… Crook Publicity. Unsurprisingly, they seem adept at getting good publicity in Murdoch newspapers.
>> Stargazing <<
Cox out on the common
Starspotters on Clapham Common may have noticed Professor Brian Cox out with his personal trainer. He appears to be doing some sort of boxercise regime and – even though his female trainer is about 2ft shorter than he is – he is giving it some serious welly.
We’re also delighted to report that he follows the classic British male genotype of having extremely pale legs…
A message to Hans Zimmer: Hans, one of our readers says you still owe him for a gram of coke from the early 80s.
>> Tricky business <<
All about the benjamins
We were out in New York to see the amazing Massive Attack v Adam Curtis show last week – and it seems there’s a taste for the Bristol trip-hop scene in Manhattan at the minute.
Tricky was due to play a gig at Webster Hall, but it’s been postponed. His conviction for purchasing dodgy banknotes as a teenager is thought to be causing visa difficulties.
New York film festivals this month – “Being Muslim in New York” is closely followed by “Bacon Film Festival”.
>> Choad in the whole <<
There’s a little more to it
We apologise to any of our Punjabi literate readers who may have been shocked to see us describing Nigel Farage’s penis as a ‘fucker’ – for that is what ‘choad’ means in Punjabi.
It’s usually accompanied by some sort of qualifier too, e.g.
Pan choad = Sister fucker
Ma choad = Mother fucker
Kotha choad = Donkey fucker
FYI: With Faraj meaning vagina in Malay, he’s got all bases covered.
What happened to Mr Paparazzi after his Big Pictures went bust, with huge debts and job losses? Well, he seems to be running for Mayor of Geelong.
>> Lowedown <<
Friends in high places
The new Chase and Status single, Count On Me, smashed in to the charts at number five last week, with huge airplay from Radio 1.
Music industry bods always say that Radio 1 play is crucial to a single’s success so congratulations to the band for getting the station’s seal of approval. Although perhaps having Radio 1 big cheese, Zane Lowe, as the song’s co-writer might have helped.
FYI: Zane and Chase and Status have the same management.
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Ever wanted to know what the names of the monkeys on Gibraltar rock are? Or what Princess Anne really said to the gunman who tried to kidnap her? http://amzn.to/15WNrLQ
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>> Sleeper sell <<
Sale of the century
From Hackney Freecycle:
“Offered, two drum cases. One hard bass drum case and one lower-tom case. Once owned by 90s indie band Sleeper, and stamped with their name. A little bit of rock history.”
Quick, Sothebys, get on the phone!
Redfoo (singer with novelty dance troupe LMFAO) has been requesting his own songs at Sydney’s Beach Haus. The DJ refused.
>> Pizza the action <<
So you think you can entrance?
Nigel Lythgoe hasn’t had some sort of financial disaster, has he? We wouldn’t usually be so crass as to ask, but he was spotted last week dining in Pizza Hut on Shaftesbury Avenue last week – just steps away from the Ivy.
He was trying to keep a very low profile while dining there – but that might have been because he spent a good long while tugging on the fire exit door, trying (unsuccessfully) to get in, before he discovered the proper entrance.
Most publicity Banksy has got so far in NYC? His “dog peeing on fire hydrant” piece in Chelsea made the front pages when a dog was photographed peeing on it.
>> Simon says <<
Public interest problems
Hacked Off say they campaign for “a free & fair press, promoting world-class public interest journalism.”
This summer, the Sunday Times fought a libel court case brought by a crime boss. The crime boss’s lawyer argued that the paper had committed a “libel of exceptional gravity” and that this was “not a matter of public interest.”
Lord Justice Simon disagreed with this. Ruling in favour of the Sunday Times he said that “This was a serious piece of investigative journalism which was expressed in forthright, but not extravagant, terms.” He also added that the lawyer’s argument “takes a too narrow view of the Public Interest.”
And who was the lawyer in question? Step forward, Mr Hugh Tomlinson. The chairman of Hacked Off!
FYI: Then again, tabloids haven’t totally cleaned up their act post-Leveson. Some victims of one of the Yewtree arrestees have been approached so often that a court order has been sent out to stop it.
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Malcolm Gladwell Live: The David & Goliath Tour. London Lyceum Theatre. 28th October. Special Popbitch Discount: Tickets for a tenner! Get GBP 5 off all GBP 15 tickets by selecting “Grand Circle” when you book:
http://bit.ly/1cG4z80
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>> Hmmms <<
Crab, Human, Bachmann
Human Centipede = gross
Crab Centipede = delicious
http://bit.ly/1b7E8H8
John Maher of the Buzzcocks is a photographer now, documenting the social history of Scotland:
http://bit.ly/1fX8CBY
Some good good ladder details in this local news story:
http://bit.ly/15kpEDh
The Mirror asks Is this Banksy? (Answer: No, it isn’t)
http://bit.ly/19hiX4r
Our first Kickstarter Party – New York + Massive Attack + Adam Curtis + booze:
http://bit.ly/19BSsKM
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Thanks to: HannibalV, TM, CC, JS, monstris, TE, theabominablehoman, JH, MS, JS, EC, CT, DR, mount_st_nobody, spank_daley, NM
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Still Bored:
Why do marsupial mice shag themselves to death?
http://bit.ly/160tyhL
