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“I would like to bring it back to the old days when there was one outfit through the whole video, and you’re dancing the whole video, and there’s like not that much sex stuff going on” – Britney Spears
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|_| |_| 24.10.13 ISSUE 662
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* Fisting with Barrymore and Clary
* Yet more lies from the BBC
* Charts: Lorde v James Arthur for no 1
>> Shite Christmas <<
Good news for the photocopiers
It’s been a good few years for Ralph Lauren. Worth $7billion, he’s recently been listed as the 122nd richest man in the world, and the current rumour circulating through the company is that Ralph has just bought himself an island.
So his European staff might be justified in feeling a little miffed if there’s any truth to the gossip that many of their Christmas parties are about to be cancelled. It seems overspending on travel by senior executives = no warm chardonnay and party hats for the workers.
James Hewitt is said to be interested in being on Celebrity Big Brother. (As his Marbella bar, The Polo House, closed this year the fee would surely come in handy.)
>> Old boys network <<
Getting schooled by Leveson
Daily Mail editor, Paul Dacre, was perhaps the most abrasive witness from the ranks of the press at the Leveson Inquiry, and has been running an ongoing campaign against Sir Brian and his team in the paper ever since.
So it’s amusing to learn that Leveson is now the Chairman of Governors of Dacre’s old school, University College, Hampstead.
In news that will delight David Cameron and practically no-one else: Lily Allen is covering a Keane song for this year’s John Lewis Xmas advert.
>> De Niro’s decor <<
What’s up in Bobby’s bathroom
Robert De Niro has his own private bathroom at his film company, Tribeca’s, offices.
Not only is the bathroom covered with lots of pictures of De Niro, it is also decorated with dollar bills which have his face superimposed on them.
Ricky Gervais and Razorlight’s drummer have been playing gigs together. Say what you like about North Korea – at least they’d never let something like that happen.
>> Big Questions <<
Who is asking what right now
While most people know this rock guitarist for being married to a society beauty, which of his New York-based schoolfriends remember him chiefly as the boy who shat in her swimming pool when they were kids?
You think the London food scene is wanky? A New York restaurant this month has their cheese plate “curated” by the head chef.
>> Blag it <<
Yet more lies from the BBC
anon writes:
“I worked on the current series of Flog It on BBC2. There were days when nothing would come through the doors but uninteresting crap so production assistants would be sent to local antique shops with an expert, looking for things that were TV-worthy.
“On two occasions, people have been shown on screen as being the owners of the items with ‘family stores’, when in fact they were trinkets bought from local antique shops.”
German word of the week: “Schmutzwortsuche” – looking up dirty words in the dictionary.
>> One of these flights <<
The pettiest men in rock
Rap beefs are small fry. If you want to see some proper grudge-holding, no-one does it quite like old, white rockers.
The Eagles have been famously grouchy with one another for decades now and age has done nothing to mellow them. They’ve long refused to travel together and take separate private jets when on tour.
But that’s not enough for them. A summit was held to decide whether their guitars could travel in a plane together, or whether each guitar would need its own plane too.
Harold Bishop (aka Ian Smith) is playing the gay lover of Ross Noble in an Australian TV show.
>> Drinking games <<
Great balls of fur!
Bartenders in Chicago have a new practical joke. They’re putting round a rumour that there’s a hot new drink in town – the Furball: a cocktail of Fireball whisky and fernet branca.
They take great pleasure in mixing up the ungodly concoction for any unsuspecting hipster who orders one – and then watch with glee as they try to choke it down.
Australian rapper Iggy Azalea opened for Beyonce in Melbourne this week. She came out on stage saying “It’s good to be home”… in a strong American accent.
>> Who’s in there? <<
A visit to the little boys’ room
A little note to the journalist who was trying to sidle up to Steven Moffat’s son in the toilets at a TV industry bash to ask the kid if “Daddy has got any new monsters coming up” on Doctor Who.
It is never a good idea to follow teenage boys to the loo. And the excuse that you were doing it for a story? Even if you don’t get it in the neck, post Leveson, it makes you sound like Pete Townshend.
Poor old Tricky is still having trouble getting a US visa. His Webster Hall show has been cancelled again.
>> Piers review <<
Airbrushing history
Julian Clary did Piers Morgan’s Life Stories on Friday. There was a slightly odd moment when Morgan sympathised with Clary about the hounding he got after the Comedy Awards in 1993 – when Clary made a joke about fisting Norman Lamont.
The famously kindly Clary somehow managed to smile in response. Perhaps he found something amusing in the fact that the man who was responsible for the coverage was the then showbiz editor of the Sun… Piers Morgan!
Morgan was one of a select group enjoying hospitality in the press room at ITV, watching the show. Everyone there remembers Piers in hysterics when Clary made the joke initially. It was only when Michael Barrymore repeated the joke in mime a little later on that Morgan rang the story into the news desk. He then went on to the after party – with friends of Clary and Comedy Awards hosts – who were all oblivious to the kind of story they were going to wake up to.
Tweet of the week: @CraigDavid “Time to take it back to that feel good music that everyone loves! #CraigDavidNewAlbum2014”
>> Hmmms <<
Cakes, cats, racists
Robbie Williams, Danny Dyer, and now… Shaun Ryder, the celebrity voice of UFO spotting:
http://bit.ly/1cfkwFR
21 today! Congratulations on becoming a MASSIVE RACIST:
http://bit.ly/1hbRre8
And if you have any racist 21st birthdays coming up:
http://amzn.to/1gHRd0u
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Thanks to: HannibalV, PB, MK, JS, DY, LEW, abominablehoman, WB, BS, AM, Ulysses, E, JS, deepstoat, DJ, CT, UHB
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Old Jokes Home:
Q/ How do you make a plumber cry?
A/ Kill his family
Still Bored:
Switzerland get the Weird Eurovision ball rolling with a Danish-themed Viking a cappella group, singing about ice-cream sundaes:
http://bit.ly/HbO74T
