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Famed Sausage Merchant

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BIG ASS ART SALE continues… Quality, affordable urban art from the likes of Dan McCarthy, Mr Brainwash, Banksy, Obey, Guy Denning, Sht!, Prefab, Daniel Danger, Billy Childish, TRXTR and many more… New listings every Thursday from 8pm: http://ebay.eu/1qh3nyV
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“I didn’t name-drop Spike Jonze earlier to make myself look cool. That’s my friend” – Kanye West

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|_|         |_| 19.06.14 ISSUE 695
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* Clarence House rules
* will.i.am’s 3D-printed lifestyle
* Charts: 5SOS v Ella for No. 1

>> Rebranding <<
David Rose again
If he has any hope of rekindling his career, it’s pretty crucial that plagiarist, incest-porn aficionado and Wikipedia bully, Johann Hari, picks his next project carefully.
Thankfully, we might be in luck. Word around the watercooler is that Hari is connected to a project to get a political documentary off the ground. One featuring a new kind of political hero. A celebrity who seems to have become BFFs with Hari…
… Russell Brand.
FYI: Apparently Michael Winterbottom is in the frame to direct it too.

Hurrah! Tewwy off-of East 17 is hireable to be your DJ! “90s dance anthems and club classics” are his speciality.

>> Royal treatment <<
Clarence House rules
There was a rumour doing the rounds with Royal-watching hacks which suggested that the Harry-Cressida split was more to do with the Prince cosying up to Amanda Sheppard (ex-wife of Bryan Ferry), than Cressida being unwilling to conform to Royal life.
Apparently the Mail approached Clarence House with the story (needing some text to run alongside all those pictures of Cressida out looking tearful) but it was firmly denied. Instead the Royal handlers suggested this story instead:
“After just three weeks apart, the pair have had a secret reunion and are now back in ‘constant touch’.”
The Mail ran it. Nice to see that the press are still happy to act as the PR arm of the monarchy.

We’re delighted Jonathan Shalit now has an OBE to add to his ‘professorship’. Surely this calls for a new passport…

>> Big Questions <<
Who wants to know what?
What else (other than the Katie Price-confessed vodka bottle) is Alex Reid said to like having put up his jacksie?
Which premier league footballer could probably do without a celebrity drug dealer posting photos of the pair of them out together? People might talk.

UKIP membership growth is being touted as extraordinary. In 2002 – 9,000; now – 39k. A massive growth of 2,500 per year.

>> Way out West <<
The wit and wisdom of Kanye
A big week for tech-trepreneur popstar egomaniacs this week. First, will.i.am declared that we are entering “the beginning of a more sustainable 3D-printed lifestyle.” But that wasn’t a patch on what Kanye had to offer.
Some thoughts from Kanye West’s talk at the Cannes Lions Festival:
* “The world as a whole is fucking ugly. The internet is ugly too… Instagram is nice, I’m not knocking
that.”
* “America makes the best music. Italy makes the best suits.”
* “What is the most distasteful thing you can do? Kill somebody. So good taste is the opposite of that.”
* “Cars should just be metal.”
* “It’s just ridiculous to give any celebrity a creative director role of anything… There’s only like three guys it could possibly work with. That’s Ryan Leslie, me and will.i.am.”

 


Y2K pop stars O-Town (Liquid Dreams) are back with a new single. They don’t sound any different. Or look any different.

>> Sex mex <<
Good taste gone wild
Kanye West loves banging on about his good taste and his political sensibility. And yet he seems happy that his Mexican honeymoon served, essentially, as the backdrop for his wife’s latest mucky photoshoot. And for it to  have taken place at Joe Francis’ villa.
That’s this Joe Francis:
* The man behind the “Girls Gone Wild” videos, where drunk Spring Breakers  were encouraged to get their tits out for the cameras.
* Sentenced to 270 days in jail for falsely imprisoning and assaulting young women.
* Done time for tax evasion.
* Whose response to any critic is, “Look at their penis and tell me if it’s small. Tell me!’
Nice work, Kanye.

Hacking Trial Maths: The prosecution spend 1k per day. The privately funded defence teams of the six defendants? 60k per day.

>> Dead wrong <<
Wikipedia rewrites history again
After dozens of obituaries wrongly noted that Ronnie Hazlehurst co-wrote S Club 7’s Reach, it seems journalists on death-watch still haven’t learned their lesson about cribbing from Wikipedia.
Casey Kasem died earlier this week and a surprising number of the obits mentioned that he had done voiceover work for famed sausage merchant Oscar Mayer. It came as a bit of a surprise to those who knew Kasem as an incredibly vocal vegan who refused a number of jobs that involved him promoting meat.
So where did the Oscar Mayer myth come from? A Popbitch reader who was bored at work about five years ago added it to Kasem’s Wikipedia page – and had forgotten all about it, until it was in all the papers.

What does winning Britain’s Got Talent get you? If you’re Jai McDowall: the support slot on Gareth Gates’ tour…

>> Truncheon vouchers <<
How coppers eat on the beat
Georgey Porgy writes:
“As an add-on to your Vince Cable at Bloomberg story, the buffets they lay on are actually top notch.
“Every Bloomberg office around the world has a ‘pantry’, which is a whole floor of ‘free food’ – 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The London office has a steady stream of visiting City of London police who make excuses to come and stock up on free lattes and snacks throughout the day.”
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A 360 degree panoramic performance under the night sky, audiences have been loving THE ROOF on London’s South Bank – an “immersive live action video game with incredible sound design and choreography”. Popbitch readers get half-price tickets, 15GBP until 26 June (Mon-Thu), use code “ROOF15” http://bit.ly/1plDFdh
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>> Hmmms <<
Zombies, play-doh, Phil Neville
Chris from Big Brother in a film trailer (56s in):
http://bit.ly/1uFwjka
Chris from Big Brother is also an artist:
http://bit.ly/1uFwI6d
Sam Faiers has made a perfume and got some champagne in to launch it:
http://bit.ly/1lC9s9G
Quentin Tarantino’s Ghostbusters Vol. 3:
http://bit.ly/1nlXzBu
Phil Neville narrates Game Of Thrones:
http://bit.ly/1pLxWza
The Hacking Trial verdict is due any day now… after which you can read everything about the trial that couldn’t be reported:
http://www.hackingtrial.com
A little something to wear alongside your tinfoil hat:
http://bit.ly/1lIgKCT
M.O have stopped trying to be an American girl group and embraced 90s garage – they’re pretty good:
http://bit.ly/1nmjc4U
What Airbnb is doing to San Fran:
http://bit.ly/1vXnPaE
An interesting look at Terry Richardson:
http://thecut.io/1oKa6Ev
Real people, fake arms:
http://bit.ly/1qvfvPd
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Thanks to: posh_duckhunter, monkeyhat, EP, SD, GP, H,
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Old Jokes Home:
Q/ Why do dwarves make bad parents?
A/ They struggle to put food on the table.
Still Bored:
Last chance for discounted tickets to the opening night of the wonderful CHRISTEENE at Soho Theatre, next Tuesday 24th June at 9.30pm. After England plays. Use code “brangit”
http://bit.ly/UbH9Uz

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