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Groping Harvey Keitel

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Popbitch Quiz is back NEXT WEEK! Roundhouse bar, Camden, Thur 1st May. Get there early for 2-for-1 mojitos. Email hello@popbitch.com for info NOW! Or book and reserve your table here:
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“I know my cock’s always in the custard for saying Bongo Land, or something” – Godfrey Bloom

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|_|         |_| 24.04.14 ISSUE 687
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* Scope or grope, Mr Keitel?
* The Slappertons are back!
* Charts: Mr Probz is no 1

>> Nice reception <<
Doing it for the digs
The producer of a big British daytime talk show surveyed a group of guests about why they had chosen to go on telly to talk about their personal problems. What do you think the most common answer was?
To give their issues a wide, public platform? To generate debate or help others in the same position? To get the sort of expert advice that only TV money can buy? Erm, no. The most popular answer given was: “To stay in a nice hotel”
Which becomes even more poignant when you learn that the producer revealed the ‘nice hotel’ they book guests into is a Travelodge.

When given the ‘scope or grope?’ option at US airport security earlier this week, Harvey Keitel opted for the grope.

>> PR 101 <<
The young and the dumb
You’re a teenage film-maker who has made a violent movie where loads of people get murdered.
How can you get some press coverage for it? Well, calling it Hunger Ford might bring it some red-top attention…

Marco Pierre White was having lunch with a friend last week in Randall and Aubin – they played spoof for who settled the bill. Marco won.

>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week
Which Premier League title-chasing football star has sold his credit facility with an elite betting firm to a “whale”? The professional gambler has been so successful that he can’t get his biggest bets placed, so has got the star to front it for him (in return for a nice fee, naturally…) Let’s see him try to defend that one if the bookies find out.

Coke own the domains ahh.com, ahhh.com and every one after that up to, and including, ‘a’ followed by sixty-two ‘h’s.

>> All Spice <<
The beef that just won’t die
GR writes:
“Caught All Saints’ comeback performance at G-A-Y. It was a great show. However, as soon as they exited the stage, the organisers played, with the volume cranked right up, the song Who Do You Think You Are? by the Spice Girls.
“Cruel, very cruel!”
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Get top price tickets for LET THE RIGHT ONE IN for only 19.50. Call 0844 412 4658 and quote “Popbitch Save 20GBP offer” or use promo code POPBITCH20 at:
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>> Footing the bill <<
Can Glen Johnson save Pompey?
It’s not only Liverpool who may get a good payout from their sponsors if they top the Premiership, as we reported last week. When Portsmouth sold Glen Johnson to Liverpool it was in written in his contract that if Liverpool win the Premiership with Glen playing for them, Pompey would get another million pounds.

 


Popular on the Game of Thrones set: Nikolaj Coster Waldu (Jamie Lannister) Not popular on the Game of Thrones set: Natalie Dormer (Margaery Tyrell), “she’s a right bitch.”

>> Chicken cottage <<
Fowl behaviour in London saunas
bad_horsey writes:
“Canny visitors to saunas in public baths have frequently smuggled in bags of ice to wrap around the thermostat and thus raise the temperature to proper Scandinavian levels. This was recently brought to the attention of the staff at a leisure centre in Lewisham. When they investigated however, they found two men doing something a little bit unexpected.
“Namely, cooking chicken breasts on the sauna’s heater.”
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Rubberbandits are doing their excellent new show Continental Fistfight in that big purple cow on the Southbank, May 10th at 7.45pm. Very special Popbitch price: 10GBP for 15GBP ticket. Code is YOKES.
http://www.underbelly.co.uk/rubberbandits
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>> Hmms <<
Cats, beezin, Skrillex
Have internet cats had their day?
http://kck.st/1lI4Xqs
Forget sniffing glue and smoking banana skins. The kids are all beezin’ nowadays:
http://elitedai.ly/1jSO9vR
Ever wondered what would happen if a PR guru was convicted and decided to go kamikaze?
http://bit.ly/1ihMOSi
While we await the Clifford jury’s decision:
http://bit.ly/1iPDG6g
All the drops on Skrillex’s new album, charted for your convenience:
http://bit.ly/1nIg8AJ
Lights! Camera! Tax Shun! How film-based tax dodges actually work:
http://bit.ly/1fa3U43
Why did the last Muppets movie get such mixed reviews?
http://bit.ly/1gT68Qz
Issue 2 of the Popbitch Magazine is available to download NOW.
All exclusive content:
http://bit.ly/1bexc8Y
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2nd London Labour Film Festival at Odeon Covent Garden 28 Apr-2 May. Win 2 x pairs festival passes/T-shirts by answering this simple question: “Kinky Boots actor Chiwetel Ejiofor also stars in which film that won this year’s Best Film Oscar?” Email info@londonlabourfilmfest.com by midnight Fri 26 April. Films/info/tickets:
http://londonlabourfilmfest.com/
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Thanks to: bad_horsey, deep_stoat, monstris, theabominablehoman, GR, JA, LEW
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Old Jokes Home:
David Moyes is in talks to take up a role at UKIP. They’re looking for an expert to get them out of Europe.
Still Bored:
Wedding narcissism. For hire. (Come back to us when you’ve done the Human Centipede…)
http://bit.ly/1ft4kxn

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