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“I know my cock’s always in the custard for saying Bongo Land, or something” – Godfrey Bloom
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|_| |_| 24.04.14 ISSUE 687
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* Scope or grope, Mr Keitel?
* The Slappertons are back!
* Charts: Mr Probz is no 1
>> Nice reception <<
Doing it for the digs
The producer of a big British daytime talk show surveyed a group of guests about why they had chosen to go on telly to talk about their personal problems. What do you think the most common answer was?
To give their issues a wide, public platform? To generate debate or help others in the same position? To get the sort of expert advice that only TV money can buy? Erm, no. The most popular answer given was: “To stay in a nice hotel”
Which becomes even more poignant when you learn that the producer revealed the ‘nice hotel’ they book guests into is a Travelodge.
When given the ‘scope or grope?’ option at US airport security earlier this week, Harvey Keitel opted for the grope.
>> PR 101 <<
The young and the dumb
You’re a teenage film-maker who has made a violent movie where loads of people get murdered.
How can you get some press coverage for it? Well, calling it Hunger Ford might bring it some red-top attention…
Marco Pierre White was having lunch with a friend last week in Randall and Aubin – they played spoof for who settled the bill. Marco won.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week
Which Premier League title-chasing football star has sold his credit facility with an elite betting firm to a “whale”? The professional gambler has been so successful that he can’t get his biggest bets placed, so has got the star to front it for him (in return for a nice fee, naturally…) Let’s see him try to defend that one if the bookies find out.
Coke own the domains ahh.com, ahhh.com and every one after that up to, and including, ‘a’ followed by sixty-two ‘h’s.
>> All Spice <<
The beef that just won’t die
GR writes:
“Caught All Saints’ comeback performance at G-A-Y. It was a great show. However, as soon as they exited the stage, the organisers played, with the volume cranked right up, the song Who Do You Think You Are? by the Spice Girls.
“Cruel, very cruel!”
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>> Footing the bill <<
Can Glen Johnson save Pompey?
It’s not only Liverpool who may get a good payout from their sponsors if they top the Premiership, as we reported last week. When Portsmouth sold Glen Johnson to Liverpool it was in written in his contract that if Liverpool win the Premiership with Glen playing for them, Pompey would get another million pounds.