There’s something grimly amusing about the fact that Boris Johnson – Westminster’s most prominent alleycat – has been squeezed into a life of tepid domesticity (new wife, baby and dog; personal scandals now revolving around wallpaper) while his cabinet of supposedly respectable ministers are shagging up a storm.
It’s nothing new, of course. You probably remember the ‘List Of 36’ that circulated a few years ago under Theresa May (the aide-compiled spreadsheet which kept tabs on the various sexual allegations surrounding Tory MPs – ranging from rumours of the occasional wank in a handbag, to fully-fledged interoffice affairs). Those who saw the unredacted version might remember who was just above Boris in that list, alleged to have had noteworthy “relations” in a previous position.
Clearly someone wanted Matt Hancock gone – and they got him. But given the whirlwind of whispers the whole affair has set spinning, we can’t help but be reminded of that old joke:
Q/ Why is the government like IKEA?
A/ One wrong screw and your whole cabinet falls apart. |