******************************************
Got something you want to ADVERTISE before Xmas? This space reaches 365k subscribers and most of the media. Email hello@popbitch.com to book in.
******************************************
“Right now I’m into Jamaican jams and Caribbean soul” – Claire Danes
POPBITCH _ _ _ _
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| ‘_ \ / _ \| ‘_ \| ‘_ \| | __/ __| ‘_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 21.11.13 ISSUE 666
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to https://www.popbitch.com
To send stories email: hello@popbitch.com
* Star-studded Smiths fanclub
* Derek Laud makes an appearance
* Charts: Martin Garrix is no 1
>> Naughty Nunn <<
Nancy’s supernatural gifts
Someone who worked with Sir Trevor Nunn recently mustered the courage to ask him what he saw in Nancy Dell’Olio. His answer? “Let me tell you, that woman could make a corpse come!”
Good job Savile didn’t know that, or he’d have been after Nancy as his wingman…
Andy Rourke from The Smiths joined a Facebook group for Smiths’ obsessives yesterday. The group is called “There Is A Light That Never Goes Out”.
>> Laudable aims <<
Derek arrives to see and be seen
Derek Laud, from Big Brother 6, was in the public gallery at the Rebekah Brooks and Andy Coulson trial two days running this week.
He came in, took off his coat, and had a good look round to see if “anyone was in”.
They weren’t.
Green Day played salesforce.com‘s annual Dreamforce expo this week. Come on, boys. Even McBusted wouldn’t sell out that far.
>> Big Questions <<
Who wants to know what?
Which posh English actor is in the bad books of a homeless charity after he pulled out last minute from filming their Christmas campaign video? He didn’t want to wear a Christmas hat or beard or “anything that would make him look silly”. Despite signing up to play Father Christmas.
Now matter how bad Nick Grimshaw’s ratings get, he’ll always have one loyal listener. He leaves R1 on at home in the mornings so his dog can listen to his show.
>> Open meerkat <<
Careful what you say
In the heart of the BBC’s refurbished Broadcasting House is a big, open-plan “creativity area”, set up to encourage people to get together and develop ideas.
It’s become known to the staff as Meerkat Alley – as the people who use it are always jumping up to check who is in earshot before they start discussing their ideas (or slagging their colleagues off.)
Simon Cowell was at Prime restaurant with his babymama Lauren in Miami last weekend. He ordered the lobster bisque, prosciutto, Italian chopped salad and the foie gras. He left a $50 tip.
>> Running the bank <<
Ursula is on chest behaviour
Seeing as the Co-op got into such trouble this week for not knowing what the bank’s boss got up to, we thought we’d lend a hand. We made an investigation into their new chairman, Ursula Lidbetter – one which goes all the way back to her schooldays.
* She married her music teacher not long after leaving school. It didn’t last long.
* She’s remembered fondly by some classmates for her love of distance running. “Every Wednesday, she’d run round the school 400m track. I particularly remember the days when it rained. She’d wear a clinging T-shirt, and every male in the science block would spend the lesson gazing longingly at Ursula’s wet chest, until the teacher rolled her eyes at us, and brought down the blinds.”
Come on Ursula, hardly meth and hookers territory. Pull your finger out!
******************************************
True love story of a natural born freak and an American beauty queen. Julie Atlas Muz and Mat Fraser bring you an adult fairytale like no other – with nudity, 18+ only. POPBITCH offer: Buy one get one free ticket to Beauty and the Beast at the Young Vic. (Book by 30 Nov, excludes preview nights). Code BEASTLY call 020 7922 2922 or http://bit.ly/18SjYP9
******************************************
>> Harpers & peen <<
Unfortunate show timing
6 Music runs an interesting interview series where a music star outlines the songs that shaped their career. It was pretty bad luck, then, to last week choose an iconic old folk performer and then see headlines about how he was charged with having unlawful sex with a schoolgirl under the age of 13, when you’ve got a show called “The First Time With Roy Harper” to put out.
According to a conquest of MiC’s Spencer Matthews, he asked her to keep repeating his name constantly when they were at it.
>> Winfrey wants <<
Reclining with Oprah
As is fitting of one of the most influential women of the world, Oprah Winfrey had some rather detailed requests on her rider for Loose Women last Friday.
* A Lay Z boy ‘Tulsa’ recliner (in chocolate leather)
* LED lighting only in private and wardrobe areas
* Flipz white fudge covered pretzels (in unopened packets)
* Individual LAN-only high speed internet connection (not WiFi)
* Duplicate pictures and biographies of all presenters
The fire warden at Saatchi and Saatchi’s New York HQ is called Paul Melter.
>> Oh dear, Odell <<
“Is that Ed Sheeran?”
The Groucho Club, approx 11.30pm, one night last week.
A young blond guy gets out of a car with his friend and walks up to the door. He sees two photographers waiting there so he’s nice enough to stand around for a few minutes, so they can do their job, even though it’s a bit cold. But the photographers didn’t move a muscle. So, after a while, poor old Tom Odell opened the door and walked inside.
******************************************
Street Feast moves inside to Hawker House, E8. Fridays and Saturdays, with 10 food traders, four bars and DJS til 2am: http://www.streetfeastlondon.com/
******************************************
>> Hmmms <<
Car, Cage, hipsters
Playing computer games doesn’t fuck up kids:
http://bit.ly/IgjgUE
Want to see a dolphin using a decapitated fish to pleasure himself?
http://bit.ly/1h2Ofmo
Anyone fancy buying a used car from Stuart Hall?
http://bit.ly/17puQXl
Lynton Crosby’s business partner is in trouble over the twitter:
http://bit.ly/1cHwMul
Xmas party alert – 80 of the best novelty and one-hit wonders from the 60s and 70s:
http://bit.ly/1ixfox5
What happens in abstinence only sex ed classes:
http://bit.ly/1bQXpPd
Any hipsters heading to the Ashes? Here’s where you should be drinking:
http://bit.ly/IhRx6a
Next week’s number one – Snap + Corona + indie =
http://bit.ly/I4VoUN
******************************************
** FRIDAY SPECIAL **
5.45pm – Apartment 58, Centrepoint
Last-minute chance to catch Distinguished Ladies. https://vimeo.com/77397071
Jane reads episode 2 + screening of the legendarily rude test pilot featuring Sally Phillips, Kayvan Novak, Morgana Robinson & Olivia Poulet. Limited seats.
RSVP to: tickets@benicepictures.com
11pm – Soho Theatre
Bono & Geldof are Cunts – special extra show as all nights very sold out:
http://bit.ly/18SlcK4
******************************************
Thanks to: MS, A, TM, deep_stoat, AP, shagpile_perm, bobbifleckmann, opus, fckem, poshduckhunter, domkaos, minky_chunky, frenziedmonkey, abominablehoman, SF
*******************************************
Old Jokes Home:
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
“No thanks, I’m travelling light”.
