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Stylist magazine comes to life next week in Islington, 15-18 October at Stylist Live. Food, cocktails, catwalks, Caitlin Moran, shopping, inspiring women, Nigella Lawson, talks, beauty treatments, the Booker Prize winner… We have 40 pairs of tickets for Popbitch readers to win!
http://bit.ly/1LjCTJd
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“I feel like I got discriminated in fashion for not being gay” – Kanye West
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|_| |_|08.10.15 ISSUE 757
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Email stories hello@popbitch.com
* Conference Cockwatch
* Have you met Ms Jones?
* Charts: Vamps v Philip George
>> Social misfits <<
The Apprentice is back
The Apprentice will soon be upon us again – so what sort of deluded, barking egotists can we expect to see this year?
One of the contestants, Vana Koutsomitis, bills herself as a “social media entrepreneur”. And what does one need to describe oneself as such?
Apparently nothing more than 150 followers on Twitter, a wine company with 15 followers, and a Facebook page that has mysteriously stopped working in the last few days.
Still, she’s streets ahead of the one that’s on Myspace looking like a Christina Aguilera tribute act:
http://bit.ly/1ZfYk44
Turns out Blake Lively doesn’t have what it takes to be the new Gwyneth. She’s just shut her style website, Preserve – while Goop powers on.
>> Amazing Grace <<
Have you met Ms Jones?
Grace Jones was making a visit to an actress friend who lived in Brighton. On the way she stopped off at a Co-op to buy a packet of fags, whereupon she was approached by a fan.
“Excuse me,” the fan asked, “but aren’t you Grace Jones?”
“Darling,” Ms Jones replied, “if I was, do you think I would be shopping here?”
Somehow, despite that being The Most Grace Jones Answer Imaginable, it worked. The fan sloped off, agreeing that it did seem a bit strange.
Kate Winslet runs an intellectual household. The only magazines she allows are “about travel or food”.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Which LA model/socialite is getting fed up being linked with any male celebrity in need of a beard? She’s trying to convince her people that a gay relationship hasn’t hurt Cara Delevingne – so why shouldn’t she come out too?
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The Big Popbitch Autumn Quiz Night NEXT TUESDAY, 13th Oct at Smiths Of Spitalfields. 7-10pm. Trivia, music, gossip, arts and crafts, and more. Book your team now & start swotting!
http://bit.ly/1P2VDfv
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>> Kornered <<
Hip hop at the cornershop
Krept and Konan are the biggest thing to blow up from the UK’s hip hop underground in ages. Stars are queuing up to work with them (Zayn Malik, Ed Sheeran, Emeli Sande, etc) but they might want to work a bit on toughening up their reputations if they don’t want to be laughed off the scene.
When working in a London studio they asked someone to pop to the cornershop for them. Not because they were too busy, but because they thought the area looked a bit dodgy.
Child abduction goes Life Of Brian on Twitter: @findmadeleine blocked @findbenneedham, so the Find Ben followers trolled the Find Maddie account until they shut it down.
>> Life on Marps <<
Giving Grant a good lamping
Nicolas Winding Refn may now be a Hollywood darling thanks to the success of his movie, Drive, but before he made it in Tinseltown, he directed an episode of Agatha Christie’s Marple for ITV.
It was there he met Richard E Grant, and it’s fair to say that the pair of them didn’t get on. In fact, Nicolas has been happy to answer fans’ questions about which actors he hasn’t enjoyed working with by naming the Withnail & I star, describing Grant simply as “a cunt”.
The feeling is likely to be mutual too, as when filming that episode (“Nemesis”) Refn decided to add in an entirely unnecessary scene just to annoy Grant. One which required him to stand holding a lamp for a full eight hours.
Nominative Determinism Of The Week: The Media & Campaigns Officer for the Food and Drink Federation… Alexandra Crisp.
>> Comrade Cockwatch <<
The most honourable members
The political conference season is over and, just like clockwork, we’re starting to get inundated with tales from the toilets.
The most impressive specimen? Someone at the Labour party conference caught a glimpse of the new Shadow Work and Pensions Secretary, Owen Smith, in the Brighton Hilton toilets. He has what appears to be an absolutely massive wang, and according to our source “he washed his hands after a piss”.
Which shouldn’t really be so noteworthy – but that’s politicians for you.
Got any conference cockspots or general gossip? hello@popbitch.com
There’s a new homeless pop-up shop called Crack and Cider. Presumably that’s what the people who thought that name was a good idea were on.
>> Otterly adorable <<
Let sleeping pups lie
It takes a special kind of mustelid to refresh our jaded appetite for cute animal videos. But this sleeping creature could even put a smile on Brendan Rogers’ face this week.
“Adored by otters, cursed by women” An actual headline in the Daily Mail last Friday.
>> Bantasy <<
Mansplaining with Moyles
Chris Moyles’ relentless PR onslaught continues – and a fawning NME profile gave him a pretty good platform last week to try to set the record straight about his new home, Radio X. He said:
“The whole male-focused thing came out of the blue. A load of us presenters went out for a beer the other night and everyone was like ‘This is bullshit, who said this?'”
If you’re interested, Chris, it seems the idea was originally floated by someone called Ashley Tabor.
Who you may know as the guy who owns Radio X, the Founder and Executive President of Global Radio.
Or maybe you remember him better as your old flatmate?
According to BBC’s James Purnell, Radio 1 plays 3,868 different tracks every month. Competitor Capital Radio plays 398.
>> Young wives’ tales <<
A different showbiz powder
boscoe writes:
“I once met Shane Meadows on a beach in Majorca. His wife gave us a tip that if you want to get rid of sand from your skin, use talcum powder. It works amazingly well and I have used it ever since.”
Miley Cyrus on SNL: “Tonight I’m on a seven-second delay. Not a TV delay – it’s just when you smoke as much as I do, you’re always on a seven-second delay”.
>> C and Mrs Jones <<
You are what you eat
Tom Jones this week said his wife had sadly “lost her spark”. Perhaps he should share with her some of his own pearls of wisdom about how to stay happy, like he did with his team when he finished recording his Reload album.
Tom very sweetly took everyone out for dinner to celebrate. When the meal was over, he announced to his companions, “After dinner I always like to have the four Cs”.
When asked what he meant, Tom explained: “Champagne, cigars, cognac and cunt”.
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Winter Break Offers: Peak District hotel break 99GBP 2 nights B&B in old manor house:
http://bit.ly/1jPSHcD
Cornish Inn break – only 129GBP 2 nights B&B, dinner and cream tea:
http://bit.ly/1jbzwJq
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>> Hmms <<
Carter, Marley, Yeezer
Why, after 50 years of trying, is Sam Smith the person to make a Bond theme number one? And how did he do it?
http://bit.ly/1GxV60b
The Kanye/Weezer mash-up album, Yeezer, is here:
http://bit.ly/1GwMarY
Nick Carter dances to everyone’s favourite Backstreet Boys song on Dancing With The Stars:
http://bit.ly/1hroZc6
The excellent Michaela Coel from E4’s new show talks about Chewing Gum:
http://bit.ly/1OmnEAg
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Thanks to: boscoe, JA, Creative Director, PE, NC, JD, B, KP, HN, JE, monstris, rogermoore, 7zark7, mister_groping, soapy_handerton, joke by Masai Graham (@MasaiGraham)
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Old Jokes Home:
Q/ What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
A/ One’s really heavy and the other’s a little lighter.
Still Bored?
Comedy fans, get your tickets to Stand Up For The Comedy School 2015. With Sean Lock, Paul Whitehouse,
Harry Enfield, Francesca Martinez and many more for a great cause:
http://bit.ly/1OmMiSO
