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“I would go on a date with Harry Styles in a heartbeat” – Anastacia
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|_| |_|26.11.15 ISSUE 764
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* Magic dust for wizards
* Fiddy’s Booze Cruise
* Charts: It’s Adele v Bieber
>> Cohen, going, gone <<
BBC boss Danny gets Peanuts
Even our stony old hearts broke a little when we heard about outgoing BBC supremo Danny Cohen’s office leaving do.
One of Danny’s team organised a whip-round to buy a farewell present, but very few people actually contributed to the kitty – and even fewer had any idea what to get him.
Eventually someone piped up “Danny quite likes Snoopy”.
So they took the 40 quid or so they’d collected to John Lewis. And bought him some Snoopy fridge magnets.
Anyone still playing Yewtree Bingo? Did you have “Chesney Hawkes’ Dad” as the next name in the court frame?
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Some of the promotional team on his new film have been taking bets about Brad Pitt’s new appearance. Is it just botox and fillers? Or has there been a recent eyelift too?
Harry Potter and the Mountain of Gak: which two cast members seem to be trying to outdo each other with the amount of magic dust they can hoover up?
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On the hunt for cool and unusual things to buy this xmas? Lovely Jojo’s has hand-drawn prints, maps, clothes and cards. 20% off with code BITCH20 at checkout:
http://www.lovelyjojos.com
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>> Booze cruise <<
Making money in Michigan
50 Cent’s Effen vodka deal has gone from strength to strength. He was promoting it at a liquor store in Grand Rapids, Michigan yesterday. $30 got you a bottle and a photo on his Facebook page. For $180, you could buy a case of vodka and you got to take a selfie with your own phone.
50 doesn’t actually drink alcohol though. He just poses with it to encourage others to buy the same brand. Ker-ching.
The Australian leg of Jason Derulo’s tour can’t be going too well. A buy-one-get-one-free ticket offer is available.
>> Streets of rage <<
Yes, it really is her
Janet Street Porter has been trying out a novel variation on the classic “Don’t you know who I am?” routine.
The building she’s working in is undergoing maintenance work. The drilling has been driving her a little crazy, so Janet has been rampaging round the building, ranting at the completely unrelated companies who also happen to rent floor space there demanding to know when they are going to be finished.
And if anyone doesn’t answer quickly enough, she shouts the words “YES, IT IS ME” at them.
Adele’s album has outsold the rest of the week’s top 200 put together.
>> Ex Factor <<
Australia switches over
The news just keeps getting worse for Simon Cowell. Not only has The X Factor been tanking in the UK, but the latest series of X Factor Australia has also been their least watched too.
It didn’t even manage to perform well with the most crucial demographic – the youth. So what exactly did the kids of Australia prefer to watch instead?
Repeats.
Of The Big Bang Theory.
FYI: For more info and gossip on X Factor, Strictly etc, Popbitch’s annual Guide to Xmas Reality TV will be out to you shortly, so keep an eye on your inbox for PB: Part 2
Spotted in the juice cafe at spin studio Psycle this week? ITV-bound Robert Peston.
>> Coogan’s run <<
Steve smokes out tourists
Steve Coogan was out at the Electric members’ club in Notting Hill last week. A couple of American tourists were standing outside smoking. Coogan worked his way into their conversation, struck up a bit of chat with them, then asked for a ciggie. The second they sparked him up he stopped the chat and toddled right off.
Can the rumours be true? Is Darren Day really in the studio recording a new album? Literally dozens of people are getting excited…
>> Xmas weirdness <<
Horsing around in Soho
Kim Noble’s You’re Not Alone, is one of the strangest but funniest and most life-affirming shows you’ll see.
Soho Theatre has designated the show on Weds 16th Dec as “Popbitch Day” – so we thought we’d have a little Christmas party. Tickets are reduced from 20 quid down to 12.50GBP and whether or not you choose to meet other PBers, or avoid us all like the plague, is entirely your call.
Johnnie Walker whisky accounts for a quarter of all duty-free booze sales.
>> Liberty hell <<
Music industry meltdown
When the Times exposed the offshore tax avoidance scheme Liberty last year, it named stars like George Michael, Arctic Monkeys, Take That and Katie Melua – who were chased by the taxman for millions because of their involvement in it.
There’s more still to come. HMRC has just issued around a thousand 90-Day Accelerated Payment notices this month in relation to Liberty. But hundreds of them have gone not to rich stars and celebrities, but to record company and industry workers who signed up to the fund off the back of the stars’ involvement.
Well now they’re getting a real taste of the celebrity lifestyle – as the taxman is demanding that they too pay back up to twice the amount of their original investment – and quick…
Just like their idols!
FYI: Lawyer Andrew Newton Smith is putting together a class action suit against some of the advisers who sung Liberty’s praises.
Rand Paul is rumoured to be quitting the race for the Republican party nomination after Thanksgiving.
>> Nil points <<
No can do, Naidoo
Germany has made a bit of a pig’s ear of choosing its Eurovision act for 2016.
Last week they announced Xavier Naidoo, a huge R&B star, would represent them. But then fans started to point out that the singer’s reputation for writing homophobic lyrics might not endear him to all the Eurovision family. Nor his anti-semitic views. Nor would the rest of Europe necessarily approve of his appearances at far-right rallies seeking to restore Germany’s pre-1918 borders…
48 hours later, Naidoo was out.
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Fuck Black Friday, it’s the lesser known Pink Thursday today! Celebrate it in style and save 40% on Brainbox Candy’s bum smackingly funny cards, w/ special offers on loads of gifts:
http://brainboxcandy.com/popbitch
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>> Hmmms <<
Bacon pants and Trump
Remember Original Nuttah? Legendary MC Apache is now a practicising muslim, but still word-perfect:
http://on.fb.me/1kUSzJx
Searching for a sexy Xmas gift? Try Lovehoney’s Desire range – its most powerful sex toys:
http://bit.ly/1MEQlHe
Love’s Kitchen took 117GBP in its opening weekend. Burnt got a mauling in the press. But which foodie movie is worse? We watched both so you don’t have to:
http://bit.ly/1PQh5s2
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Thanks to: TL, BM, badhorsey, jbb, ulysses, BM, soapy_handerton, deep_stoat, A, plasticflamingo, NLM, SG, JC, HC
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Old Jokes Home:
It’s really cold all year round in Motown.
Three degrees…four tops.
Still Bored?
This month’s Popbitch smartphone magazine is out now on Apple and Android. See what’s in it and download it here:
http://bit.ly/1T6RQzn
