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*** SPECIAL POPBITCH NIGHT OUT ***
Want a night out with only people who like Old Jokes Home, filth and otters? On Thurs 8th Aug, London
* Oliver Reed – Wild Thing – a one-man show telling the life story of Britain’s most famous creme-de-menthe drinking hellraiser
* Plus Q&A afterwards
* Plus a free drink
* Plus quiz about famous drinkers with Rob Crouch, playing Oli Reed
* Tickets only 17.50GBP
St James Theatre Studio SW1 Call 0844 264 2140 and quote “popbitch” for tickets or here:
http://bit.ly/16dZzmM
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“Being a lesbian is a compliment more than what else they call me.” – Miley Cyrus
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|_| |_| 25.07.13 ISSUE 652
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* Saatchi and Nigella’s arty-choke
* Commemorative Pipbitch pull-out
* Charts: Avicii v One Direction for no 1
>> Desmond’s wet spot <<
Not a dry seat in the house
It’s easy to see how Richard Desmond is such a canny businessman. This is how he’s been known to get some extra legroom on flights.
He and the lovely Mrs Desmond pay the tiny Priority Boarding fee on EasyJet, to ensure they can take their seats early. They choose the window and aisle seats of a row of three. And then somehow Richard will “accidentally” knock a glass of water in the empty middle seat, to render it somewhat unusable. Better than a private jet to the holiday home in Majorca, eh?
Terry Wogan was spotted sitting quietly in the Calpe Lounge, Gibraltar airport. His cover was blown when the tannoy loudly asked for “Mr Wogan to come to the desk”.
>> Frosty reception <<
New film not going down well
Hopefully Nick Frost is enjoying the positive reviews that The World’s End is currently receiving because word is that his next film, Cuban Fury, is not going quite as well. After months of editing and re-shoots, and a release date moved from 2013 to 2014, some of those involved are worried that it’s, well, just not funny.
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Sam Simmons, Soho Theatre. The master of suburban, absurdist comedy returns with his very own Shitty Trivia. Tickets from 10GBP, PBers get 2.50 off any ticket, 12-24 Aug Quote “meat tray”:
http://bit.ly/15LIfWw
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Hulk Hogan has a restaurant in Tampa Bay, Hogan’s Beach, attached to the Best Western. Reviews, so far, have not been awfully kind.
>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week
Which BBC presenter was refreshingly unpretentious about his coke-taking at Latitude last weekend? He was quite content to slum it with the punters, proper festival style, and do his snorting in the portaloos.
Nominative Determinism of the week: Popbitch’s favourite Lynx senior brand manager… David Titman.
>> A total carve up <<
Veg sculptures robbed
After last year’s ‘Harvest Cocker’ triumph, we were expecting big things at the Lambeth vegetable carving contest.
Best three:
1. Saatchi and Nigella’s “arty-choke”
2. A cute Patrick Moore
3. Hirst diamond skull done in peas
Sadly the judges must have been on drugs because their top two was the Boris Johnson and a stegosaurus.
http://bit.ly/17FsmCk
Since Michael Clarke became captain of Australia he has scored 20% of their runs.
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****** SPECIAL COMMEMORATIVE PULL-OUT *****
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|_| |_| Upstaging the Royal Birth
>> Baby in weighting <<
Fresh prince measures up nicely
The royal baby weighed 8lb 6oz. Which, coincidentally, is the same weight as the baby Jesus, according to the film Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.
The Queen’s birthplace, 17 Bruton Street, Mayfair, is now Hakkasan restaurant.
>> Delusions of grandeur <<
The madness of Prince George?
Some young royals turn out to be rather special. Fingers crossed Baby Cambridge follows in the foot-steps of Princess Alexandra of Bavaria.
Back in the mid-19th century, Princess Alex came to believe that she’d swallowed a glass grand piano as a child, and that meant she had to move very carefully or else it would break inside her.
The Duke of Edinburgh was born a long way from the Lindo Wing – on a kitchen table at his parents’ home in Corfu.
>> Rumour Mills <<
If only they acted this way…
Celebs mags have been chronicling the royal birth and its aftermath for three weeks already. Best of the lot? USA’s Globe magazine which came out last week. Some time before the baby was born they managed to get the inside story of the delivery room:
“As Kate gives birth… drunken Camilla collapses! Dramatic details inside. ‘Kate and her baby will be more popular than me’, she sobs.”
http://bit.ly/171ItI0
(FYI: Inside – how Kate kept her placenta private from the Queen so that she could eat it.)
When Julia Gillard was PM, Prince George was getting a hand knitted ‘roo from Oz. Instead, he got a $10k bilby (rat-like marsupial) research project at Tarango Zoo.
>> Crocwatch <<
Andy’s big gift
When Prince Andrew was born, one of his gifts was a baby crocodile from Gambia, called Mansa. It was given to London Zoo, but not before becoming the only crocodile in history to spend a night at Buckingham Palace.
Q/ What do you call the MI6 Officers overseeing security at the Royal birth?
A/ On Her Majesty’s Secret Cervix.
*** SPECIAL COMMEMORATIVE PULL-OUT ENDS ***
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>> The other silly season <<
Some non-royal baby things
Thom Yorke’s wikipedia entry (cited from an Observer feature) says Yorke was inspired to be a guitarist by Brian May. Yorke’s answer “That’s too weird to believe.”
>> A spike in interest <<
Earning a bit of Lee-way
Spike Lee follows in the inglorious footsteps of Zach Braff and Shosh from Girls by turning to Kickstarter to fund his new ‘joint’ (aka, ‘film’).
Everyone rolls their eyes and claims that Kickstarter is no place for established celebs. Right up until Steven Soderbergh chips in $10,000 and tells everyone how shitty the film industry has actually become for directors.
Ewan McGregor spotted on the M20 driving a 1965 white mustang convertible.
>> Popbits <<
The sublime and the ridiculous
Google Google Apps Apps is a “queer retort to the gentrification of San Francisco” by a drag queen who goes by the name of Persia. It’s a high octane, off-your-tits-in-a-gaybar number, and the video is bloody mental. In a good way, obviously:
http://bit.ly/1aKnH3V
Then, if you’re in the mood for something interesting but a little less good, Denise Pearson of Five Star has a new solo single out:
http://bit.ly/1bkxscM
Drew Barrymore says she likes cooking to Chet Baker, N.W.A. or Madonna.
>> Hmmms <<
Socialism, zonkeys, holy chickens
Socialist rock’n’roll is where it’s at, kids. Thee Faction’s new album is out now!
http://bit.ly/166Bkck
Attention sport fanatics – we predict big things for this, launching in Oct:
http://fitboard.com
There’s a new donkey/zebra hybrid been born:
http://bit.ly/1451QVN
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Thanks to: GA, SD, mountstnobody, LMES, AP, MS, AP, abominablehoman, BF, WB, monstris, SD, bad-horsey, CM, deep_stoat, celtiagirl, neville_bartos
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Old Jokes Home:
Wayne Rooney has asked for a transfer. David Moyes has asked for it in writing.
So that’s the end of that, then.
