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“‘Wicked’ is a great word and I think ‘fancy’ is very lovely. Someone said ‘headmaster’ to me the other day. I was like ‘What is that? I love it!'” – Olivia Rodrigo |
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Email stories to us hello@popbitch.com
* Tinder demands of the stars
* At home with the Walkers
* PLUS: Choc thief, unmasked |
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>> Cruise-cut << |
Fake clobber for the A-list |
After last week’s story about his bakery switch, another Tom Cruise tale has come our way.
For a while Tom Cruise became obsessed with a very particular cashmere T-shirt from All Saints. Apparently he liked to work out in them because the cashmere made him extra warm when running on a treadmill (a sensation he enjoys; presumably a Scientology thing.)
Anyhow, it proved hard to find this T-shirt in his size – especially in the sort of quantities Tom was after. So someone from his team was sneakily dispatched to Marks And Spencer to pick up 20 of their T-shirts instead. Then an embroiderer was hired to remove and replace all the labels and stitch a fake logo on them so that Tom wouldn’t know the difference. |
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Ariana Grande’s new single yes, and? is blowing up. Looks like this will be the track that propels Max Martin to overtake George Martin as the most successful producer in US pop chart history. |
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>> Messy Messi << |
Leo beats CR7 again |
In the centre of Riyadh there’s an insanely high-end cinema, at which some special screens are available only for private hire. Al-Nassr’s Cristiano Ronaldo favours the screening room filled with mattresses, pillows and day beds, while Saudi tourism ambassador Lionel Messi loves the one with Arabic-style floor level seating (and shisha, though he doesn’t indulge).
This isn’t the only difference between them though. When CR7 and Georgina arrive, they are constantly surrounded by a phalanx of security guards who stand outside the room to ensure the stars have no contact whatsoever with any of the staff.
Leo and Antonella on the other hand wander in on their own, chat with everyone and make sure that everyone who wants a selfie gets one before the movie starts.
Last time they visited, they ordered in popcorn which Messi immediately dropped on the floor. Rather than pull any superstar nonsense, he simply apologised to the server, picked it up from the floor, put it all back in the box and then proceeded to eat it. |
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The latest star to get a taste for the Guinness at The Cow in Notting Hill? Olivia Rodrigo. |
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>> Big Questions << |
Who’s asking what this week? |
Which ageing radio DJ is still trying to keep his raving flame alight – paying his daughter to vacate the house of an evening in order to throw cocaine parties for pals? |
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,—–, It sounds weird – a
/ \ company paying you NOT
( @ @ )to use their product –
\ v / but that’s precisely what
(())|(()) Octopus Energy is proposing
))|||(( at peak times this winter.
So take advantage and save.
[Sign up for Saving Sessions here] |
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>> Attenborough lives! << |
David is the new Queen Mum |
Every so often, rumours of an aged celebrity’s death surface and spread like wildfire. In the early days of Popbitch this was repeatedly the case for the Queen Mum, but this week poor old David Attenborough has enjoyed the same attention across newsrooms.
Online newsdesks kicked into action so quickly this week that – even though the rumour was debunked within the hour and the national treasure was confirmed alive and well – the Telegraph already had an 800 word piece ready to go, while MailOnline had a whopping 10 new stories to publish. Alongside the six they already had pre-written. |
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Danniella Westbrook is now on Tinder: “No bald guys or guys with beards sorry x” if you’re interested. |
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>> Flipping sneaks << |
Mones under the hammer |
It seems the NHS isn’t the only national institution Michelle Mone and her husband have managed to work an angle with. The Church Commissioners (the investment arm of the Church of England) also struck a deal with the pair, selling them 4 Chester Square for a song at £9.25m.
Neighbouring houses in the area can go for £25-30m, so it represents exceedingly good value. The Belgravian townhouse is a good choice of pre-prison home for the Mones too, as it puts them close to fellow persona non-grata Roman Abramovich.
Or at least it would if they actually planned to live there. Instead they’re in the process of flipping it to sell. The overseas billionaire the Mones have secretly lined up to buy it wants them to take out the golden taps they’ve installed first though.
They’re too gaudy, apparently. Even for an overseas billionaire. |
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The ‘ludicrously capacious bag’ from the final series of Succession has just sold at auction for $18,750. |
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>> Reality bites << |
Here’s the kicker… |
Premier league players are forever banging on about how overloaded their lives are these days, what with the number of games they’re having to play and their onerous global travel schedules.
All the more impressive then that the captain of treble-winning Man City and England regular Kyle Walker has been able to (semi-)successfully juggle a wife and three kids in Cheshire while starting up a second family with a celeb influencer on the Sussex coast.
The Kyle Walker story has generated many column inches this week – which is rare for footballers, who are normally so successful at encouraging the courts to enforce their Article 8 right to privacy. Possibly it has something to do with the fact that Kyle and Annie Walker share a super well-connected publicist.
We’re interested to see if tabloid speculation is right – and this little story ends with an At Home With The Walkers-type reality show. If so, we’ll know for sure just how overworked footballers really are. |
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Brentford striker Ivan Toney’s eight-month ban for breaking FA gambling rules has just been lifted. His full name is Ivan Benjamin Elijah Toney. IBET. |
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>> Cash and Carr-y << |
Serving coffee, spilling tea |
At the end of last year, we had a few stories about Tess Daly’s tightfistedness – but she’s by no means the only showbiz skinflint.
Alan Carr supposedly has a fancy Nespresso coffee machine in his house that he keeps for his sole use. Anyone coming to visit though gets fobbed off with instant. Catering-quantity, cash-and-carry instant. |
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Brave the cold with the Rise & Fall Cashmere Wool Knitted Hood. Designed to be worn pulled up as a hood, or styled down as a snood, this winter all-rounder combines functionality and style with ease. Made from a blend of A-Grade Mongolian Cashmere and Australian Merino Wool. [Selling fast, get yours now] |
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>> Chocs away << |
Finally fingered our man |
Remember last year when the media world was briefly captivated by the mystery of the missing chocolate at the Sunday Times? Samples of the world’s most expensive chocolate – which were supposed to be the focus of an article – had been snaffled from the office fridge and the all-staff email sent out trying to find the culprit ended up going viral.
The story of the hunt for the chocolate thief was picked up by international news outlets – but the case remained unsolved. Until now.
A culprit is said to have owned up (though he’s claiming he found it on the table, rather than in the fridge with a sign over it saying Please Do Not Touch): Nicholas Hellen, the paper’s transport correspondent. |
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Comedy love: Since Stewart Lee and Bridget Christie broke up, news reports have already linked Stew with Rosie Holt. Bridget has been hanging out with a younger model herself as well. Fellow Perrier winner (18 years her junior) Richard Gadd. |
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>> Q jump-start << |
Back from the dead |
Whatever you made of Pitchfork, news of mass lay-offs taking place as it gets folded into GQ is pretty bleak, resulting in even fewer places that take music and music criticism seriously. Still, we shouldn’t be too downhearted. Maybe some kindly benefactor will swoop in and revitalise the brand in its darkest hour?
That’s what happened to Q Magazine. Shut down in 2020, it was recently reanimated in 2023 and is now flourishing online as a clickbait site that makes up part of Empire Media Group: the company run by the disgraced former National Enquirer editor who used to run interference for Harvey Weinstein and Donald Trump… our old pal, Dylan ‘Dyldo’ Howard! |
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In all the reams of speculative coverage of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, one detail that raised a smile: Travis’s brother and his wife are called… Jason and Kylie. |
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>> Where is the love? << |
Someone puts Will in the corner |
TAT writes:
“Last week’s will•i•am story reminds me of a story from when I worked at a hotel. Will was staying in-house and was in the elevator when one of my sales team stepped in. She tried to be professional, said “Hello, sir” and made some polite small talk.
“His reaction was to slowly shuffle his feet so that he rotated to face the wall/corner that he was standing next to, not unlike a school dunce, where he stayed till she got out.”
Anyone else shared a lift with a celeb? hello@popbitch.com |
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Thanks to: CC, mount_st_nobody, deep_stoat, monstris, RJ, shan, MDS, flowh, PR, party_b, DR, triflemonster, PD, AS, bobbi_fleckmann, PC, kerching, HT, obv_anon, TAT |
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Old Jokes Home
Q/ Why was the nurse annoyed to find a thermometer in her pocket?
A/ It meant some arsehole had her pen.
Still Bored?
An early contender for News Story Of The Year: “Woman Pays £175 To Have Hamster Stuffed As A Poledancing Stripper”
[There’s pictures…] |
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