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Xmas Popbitch Popquiz! Next Monday! 3rd December. Get your team and come have fun. Will Barrett’s accordion, review of the year plus “festive lemon party”. Only 5GBP, The Player, Soho, 7pm
http://www.wegottickets.com/event/197537
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“I should fart while ur giving me top” – Chris Brown
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|_| |_|29.11.12 ISSUE 621
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* Journalists: Best behaviour
* Lib Dems: go Gangnam Style
* Charts: Olly Murs is still no 1
>> J-Lebanon <<
Jenny from the wrong block
J-Lo’s concert in Dubai last week was going well. So much so that she snatched a flag from someone in the audience, draped herself in it and loudly declared her love for the UAE.
At that point the room turned a little frosty. Why? Because the flag she was draped in was the Lebanese one…
FYI: The love J-Lo feels for the UAE was obviously in no way influenced by the enormous paycheck she drew from opening the world’s largest Audi showroom in Dubai two days previously.
Joey Essex and Sam Faiers’ trip to Dubai generated a load of PR and pap shots. Shame for them they only got cattle-class flights on Emirates. TOWIE on the slide?
>> Political party <<
Lib Dems Gangnam style
Ready to hear one of the most pitiful things you’ll hear all season? The Lib Dem MPs were at Ministry of Sound for their Christmas party this week. And were dancing Gangnam Style.
FYI: Nick Clegg only showed up at the start. He apparently “still looked sad despite a slight incline at the corners of his mouth”.
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The Architects: A new work from shunt, inspired by the Labyrinth and the Horror it contains Go experience it.. It will be like nothing else on in London’s theatre: The Biscuit Factory, Bermondsey, London, Until 2nd Feb 2013:
http://bit.ly/shunt-architects
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>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week
Which sitcom star is terrified that the sex tapes she made with her ex-husband are going to get leaked because of her ex-husband’s habit of showing them to his house guests (and other friends).
Which TV presenter was so drunk when he recently got sacked that the next morning he’d completely forgotten what had happened?
Hugh Grant’s C4 programme on tabloids last night got 470,000 viewers, 1.9% audience. Less than C5’s Removal Men.
>> Best behaviour <<
Journo gets a special delivery
This week marked the 7th anniversary of the passing of George Best.
thebestnameshavegone writes:
“I once wrote a story about old George Best doing something nasty like hitting a woman or something. A few days later a nice letter arrived for me at work postmarked from near his house in Surrey. I could work out that it was from someone angry at my treatment of Mr Best, but I didn’t read it all as, after writing it, the sender had accidentally shat on it as well.”
Nominative DeGermanism of the week: Jewish leader speaking out in support of circumcision rights in Germany Ms Charlotte Knobloch.
>> Isle of wonder <<
More about Sir Jangle’s discs
The BBC are doing their level best to scrub any trace of Jimmy Savile from their archives. One notable deletion is Sir Jingle’s episode of Desert Island Discs, which is no longer available to stream from the BBC website.
At about 26 minutes in, Jimmy introduces a little girl in a wheelchair from Stoke Mandeville, who wanted to go on the radio and choose a Wham! record. Savile suggests if he can’t have the record he could take the girl to the desert island to do his washing. We suppose, with hindsight, that doesn’t sound quite so sweet now.
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Do Something good for charity this Xmas. Play the festive fuzzy game, but don’t forget to show us your Fuzzy and #FuzzIt to win one of five iPad Minis! Get your Festive Fuzzy fix here:
http://bit.ly/TPCtLi
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>> Rock and balls <<
The passions of Mr Stewart
We can almost excuse Rod Stewart his God-awful Xmas album as, surprisingly for a celebrity, he’s written an entertaining autobiography.
Particularly good is the section on his “early to late 1970s knob period”. Even more surprisingly, this refers not to his love life, but his passion for drawing a penis on pretty much everything he could.
And he’s not lost his passion. Rod more recently drew his signature cock and balls on McFly’s passports, on a flight to Dublin. His suggestion for coping with questions from immigration officials in the future? “Turn it into a tree and say that your three year old did it.”
Sad to see David Rodigan quit Kiss FM, he was the last link with its origins. Dave said he got into reggae in 1964, watching Millie Small sing My Boy Lollipop on TV.
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>> People’s choice <<
Barlow keeps finger on pulse
Everyone seems mystified by Chris’s popularity on X Factor. So how can Gary Barlow be so sure he’s on to a good thing? Well, Barlow has his own personal producer/helper on the show – Ben Winston (more famous for his work with James Corden). Ben has a knack for spotting trends that play well with the public, even ones that look a little sketchy at first glance.
We first noticed Ben on Twitter, sticking up for Jimmy Savile, when no-one else dared to: “This is such a dangerous use of television, and ITV are wrong to do this doc after his death. He was investigated while alive”.
An unfashionable position to take you might think. But the “Jimmy Savile” was the most popular Halloween outfit this year, is it any wonder that Gary seems so confident with his man?
FYI: X Factor Australia’s winner is actually good! Samantha Jade, head and shoulders above the UK lot:
http://bit.ly/YtS0bc
X Factor winner’s song will be a charity number this year. Try setting up a funny internet campaign to beat that, then!
>> Reality TV update <<
Who you should be backing
* X Factor.
If Chris can stay out of the bottom two, Union J for elimination. At 5-1, in a three horse race, Chris would still be a good bet:
http://bit.ly/U1G0IN
* IACGMOH
It’s the I’m A Celebrity final on Saturday – it’s going to be close – definitely open enough to make a few quid. The stats suggest Charlie; but the odds favour Ashley or David. Or Eric the longshot?
http://bit.ly/U1G0IN
* SPOTY
Here’s the shortlist. Mo v Wiggo?
http://bbc.in/TrY8Ky
* Strictly
Louis is drifting in the betting – he could now be worth backing… Check his odds:
http://bit.ly/U1G0IN
Strictly Fact of the Week: Lisa Riley used this as a chat-up line. Pointing at her breasts, she asks: “How’d you like to see your knob between these”?
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>> Fatuous <<
Mail in hot soup with Campbell
“Ali Campbell from UB40 Gets Fat” could be amusing, though you’d be hard-pressed even here to think it was really a news story. Particularly less than 48 hours after his father, the folk singer Ian Campbell, had died. So it was nice that most national newspapers didn’t think to run it.
Except for the Mail.
Demand for Rolling Stones tour tickets is much greater in Brazil than Japan.
>> Europopbits <<
Things from the continent
* FRANCE After listening to Salma Agha’s Come Closer a lot last year after hearing Dot Rotten sample it, we somehow missed Guts’ reworking of the same song. It’s fabulous:
http://bit.ly/RkLrpz
* SWITZERLAND look set to introduce drive-in sex booths. Perfect for the time-poor customer on the go:
http://www.thelocal.ch/page/view/1774
* GERMANY are tightening up their bestiality laws, which is a shame for local zoophiles. Luckily they won’t have to travel too far to get their kicks as it remains legal in Belgium and Hungary. (And if they fancy something a touch more exotic, sex with animals is still permitted in Brazil, Cambodia, Denmark, Finland, Japan, Mexico, the Philippines, Sweden, Thailand and several US states.)
FYI: I was watching a film with my little boy last night as the wife was out. He said, dad I’m getting scared, is that lady going to die? I said probably son, judging by the size of that horse’s penis…
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Christmas will be knocking on your door before you know it. Get ahead of the game and stock up on these outrageous Christmas cards and brilliant gifts for under a tenner, plus free delivery and a free bonus card, nice!
http://bit.ly/XmBmtC
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>> Hmmms <<
Tarantino, Lusardi, baseball
Fancy living Iron Maiden style? Steve Harris is selling his house, (football pitch with home and away changing rooms…etc)
http://bit.ly/RkLOAy
RIP Joe Maher from Flowered Up? Only three years after his brother’s death.
http://bit.ly/Vg4zGr
The world’s first 100% VERIFIED online dating site is here and currently free to Popbitchers with code WLTMPB2012
http://www.wouldliketomeet.me
The thought of sloping off for a cheeky Monday night’s racing in 2013 at Royal Windsor Racecourse makes winter a bit brighter. Annual Memberships just 249GBP, quote PB13 and get a tenner discount:
http://bit.ly/V5BIyw
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Loserville offer. Garrick Theatre, London. 22.50GBP top price tickets (normally £45) Mon – Fri til 22 Dec (12.50 Weds matinees). It’s set in 1971, about computer geeks and songs are quite Busted. Call 0844 412 4662 and quote “Popbitch”
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Thanks to: SW, GR, TM, JT, JA, AM, GA. bobbifleckmann, SG, smillsy, mister_, groping,
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Old Jokes Home:
I found myself drowning in an ocean of orange soda yesterday.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
Still Bored?
Jerry Sadowitz does a rather good Savile impression:
http://bit.ly/Y9pMUl
