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“I hate quinoa. It looks like little dead ants in a bowl” – Millie Bobby Brown |
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Free newsletter every Thursday subscribe
Email stories to us hello@popbitch.com
* Jedward v the Reaper!
* China v the Cholmondeleys!
* PLUS: Ben folds his fifth |
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>> Mail order << |
Compassionate Greaves |
They say you either die a hero or live long enough to find yourself getting chased around your New York office by security, while simultaneously trying to collar an IT guy who can help you scrub your inbox of any troublesome messages.
And so it was with DailyMail.com editor-in-chief, Gerard Greaves. Officially now sent back to the UK on “compassionate leave”, it seems as if the “compassion” is mostly aimed at stopping Greaves from hearing guffaws from colleagues, who are transfixed by the gossip surrounding his being marched out of the newsroom.
Senior management now have to sift through a file of HR issues, where allegations swirling round Paul Dacre’s long-time deputy range from scorned colleague complaints, to narcotic use, to some absolutely eyewatering expenses – which appear to have a peculiar focus on expensive haircuts. |
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Spotted at the London Festival of Railway Modelling (aka Glastonbury for train sets) at Alexandra Palace this weekend: Hugh Grant. Especially enjoying the Darjeeling Himalayan Railway Society exhibition. |
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>> Bloody Norah << |
Keeping up with the Moanses |
Lorraine Kelly made headlines this week after struggling through an awkward interview with jazz singer Norah Jones. Staff at the recent Dubai Expo were all too familiar with Lorraine’s plight.
Norah was one of the big-name guests booked to play there. Other stars, such as Andrea Bocelli, Ellie Goulding, Coldplay, Black Eyed Peas and Alicia Keys were all lovely to deal with. Norah, on the other hand, was quite the diva in her contractually obliged pre-show interview. She only gave monosyllabic answers, micromanaged the lighting and insisted that photographers only take shots of her ‘good side’.
Earning her the backstage nickname “Norah Moans”. |
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Latest news on Kerry Katona: she’s said to have pranged her famously bright green Lamborghini when picking up one of her kids from gymnastics last week. |
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>> Big Questions << |
Who’s asking what this week? |
Which of the OG Gladiators was giving demonstrations of her impressive muscle control way back in school, bringing much joy to classmates with her ability to fanny-fart on command? |
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Congrats to Michael Cragg on winning the Penderyn Music Book Prize 2024 for his excellent book on 90s/00s pop, Reach for the Stars. Michael did a very fun audio interview for our VIPbitch members at Xmas. For more insider access like this, join our premium Popbitch list [here] |
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>> Technicolour Vaughan << |
Saturday night/Sunday morning |
Wales has a new first minister in Vaughan Gething and he’s already off to an incredible start.
We don’t know what celebrations occurred last Saturday after the leadership election results were announced, but we do known what happened the morning after. Vaughn had to abandon a pre-recorded interview with the BBC at 9am on Sunday to go and have a tactical vom.
He came back 10 minutes later and re-started the interview. |
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Sugababes at war! Mutya, Siobhan and Keisha have been out touring, but now Heidi and Amelle have been approached about doing a tour with Jade Ewen. Also as the Sugababes. |
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>> Storage wars << |
China v The Cholmondeleys |
For reasons that Messrs Harbottle & Lewis would rather we didn’t explain, a number of internet users have recently been scouring through old pictures of David Cholmondeley and his wife Lady Sarah Rose. Specifically a couple of ‘At Home With The Cholmondeleys’-style photoshoots that show the Marquess and Marchioness draped across some rather gorgeous antique Chinese furniture they have installed in their country pile, Houghton Hall.
The pieces have now caught the eye of Chinese TikTokkers who were curious as to their provenance. It didn’t take much sleuthing to discover that David’s grandmother was Sybil Cholmondeley – née Sassoon. Of the same Sassoons who did such a roaring trade in opium in China in the 19th century. And also had a decent sideline in pillaging goods as the Qing dynasty collapsed.
So it seems fairly clear which side China is going to take in the rural rivalry. |
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Joe Alwyn has made $2m+ from his co-writing credits on Taylor Swift songs. A canny way to make sure one’s ex never feels compelled to do a kiss’n’tell… |
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>> On the ball << |
Stringer ropes in star pals |
Pictures of Harry Styles in the crowd at a recent Luton Town match caused a lot of excitement and confusion, and we can probably expect more celebrity cameos to grace their grounds for upcoming fixtures too.
A promotion to the Premier League has helped, but the real key to the club’s star-drawing power is Luton Town director, Rob Stringer. Sony sources tell us Rob – whose day job is Global Head of Sony – is relocating from NYC to London, and is going to use the chance to get even more involved in the club, a la Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney.
His proximity to pop stars might keep their funding up to continue their run of success, and among Rob’s other big mates are Bob Dylan, Beyoncé and Adele. Maybe local rivals Watford can put in a call to their former chairman Elton John to see if he can rustle up some celebs to keep pace. |
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Congratulations to Ben Folds of Ben Folds Five who has just finalised his latest divorce, bringing his total number of folded marriages to… five! |
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>> OnlyMans << |
Sinking the membership |
The Guardian’s really been gunning for the Garrick Club this week over their refusal to admit women, even going so far as to name and shame a long list of the private club’s most prominent male members.
One name absent from the list was ex-Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger’s – but that’s probably because he already rescinded his membership in a fit of pique. Not over the membership panel’s treatment of women, but because of their treatment of one of his nominations: Lord Myners.
Alan put the former chairman of the Guardian parent group forward for membership but the panel rejected him. They were unimpressed with Lord Myners’ apparent involvement in a £100m offshore tax dodge, and very disapproving of his favourable handling of Fred “The Shred” Goodwin during his time as Gordon Brown’s City Minister.
So they do have some decency.
FYI: One Garrick Club member who appears to have been spared the naming and shaming is Stanley Johnson. Who just so happens to be the father-in-law of the aptly named journalist leading the Guardian’s coverage… Amelia Gentleman! |
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Dial F for Football is a new satirical, audio comedy series that takes listeners behind-the-scenes of a (fictional) popular commercial sports radio station, Totalsport FM. Written and starring a comedy dream team including Lolly Adefope, Rhys James, Jessica Fostekew and Fergus Craig (with cameos from Ed Gamble, James Acaster, Alan Davies and more…). Weekly episodes available from 27th March.
[Listen to trailer] |
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>> Fishy business << |
Maligning national treasures |
Further to last week’s story about Jane Goodall and the fish tank: we were only joking to suggest that she was a diva on par with Madonna et al, but it turns out there was actually a very sweet reason behind her wanting to take those fish.
Shortly after Jane’s photoshoot someone from her team reached out to the studio to inquire about their fish as Jane had noticed they were looking sort of sad – and she was spot on. The fish were sad. Their owner had died at the start of the year, and his kids hadn’t been sure what to do with his beloved fish.
When Jane made an offer to rehome them, they couldn’t think of a better way to perk the fish up than to send them off to live with one of the world’s most famous naturalists. So Jane’s going to be taking care of them now and has even renamed one of them in honour of their former owner: Vince the fish. |
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If it wasn’t for ACR (the streaming handicap that kicks in after a long stretch on the charts) Noah Kahan’s Stick Season (No.7) would actually be number one this week and not Beyoncé, as it has the highest streaming numbers. |
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>> An early forager << |
Hunter becomes the hunted |
JH writes:
“I used to live next door to Hunter in the late 90s/early 00s — at the time he was seeing Ulrika Jonsson. At about 4am one summer morning, I got out of bed for a pee, and noticed from my bathroom window that someone was going through his bins.”
“I’d read about this shit in Tony Benn’s diaries, but didn’t think it was still happening at the turn of the century. Still, I let the Hunter know about his Gatherer the next day. He seemed nonplussed.” |
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RR writes: “Warrior was a bouncer in the North West and North Wales area, and used to bounce at my local nightclub, The Talardy in St. Asaph. He never, ever once waded in when there was trouble, always preferring to stand back and let his mates do the fighting.” |
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>> Deadward << |
The twins meet the reaper |
Some years back, the first Dearly Departed Museum opened on Sunset Blvd in LA – an attraction that collected artefacts from the many tragic stories of tinseltown and put them on display.
Among the visitors to the attraction were Jedward. They walked in one day and began wandering around the glass cases of odd Hollywood items.
The owner, having recognised the pair, walked over to them and was just about to ask for a photo when one of them, wide eyed and in a panic, turned to the other and said “THIS IS DEATH!” – before promptly scurrying out the door. |
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Hate your neighbours, but also hate spending money? Pick My Postcode is the UK’s FREE daily lottery. Over half of the UK’s postcodes are now registered, so your neighbours might win some money without you, if you don’t sign up now. Simply enter your postcode and check back daily. Over £1.5 million has been won so far, probably by your neighbours.
[Play Pick My Postcode here] |
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Thanks to: BC, SM, JH, bobbifleckmann, gentlemanthug, JC, C, BN, HG, mrshoman, CA, teague_mulcahy, triflemonster, RR, GF |
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Old Jokes Home
I went for a job interview at IKEA.
The interviewer told me “Come in, make a seat!”COMPETITION TIME
We have five signed copies of Jamie Collinson’s acclaimed new book The Rejects: An Alternative History of Popular Music to give away – all about the bandmates who got the boot early doors and what became of them. Self-destroying rappers, troubled rock bassists, girl-band burnouts, it’s a sympathetic study of some of music’s most fascinating characters.To be in with a shot of winning a copy, just answer this question: A key character in The Rejects is Jason Everman, who was fired from Nirvana for being too moody. What was the other major ’90s band he was fired from?
Answers to things@popbitch.com before 23:59 Wed 27th Mar. |
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