****************************************
Lord Nelson (Union St SE1), home of the Elvis burger and Hoff burger, take on Tescos with the (Borough Market sourced) all-horse half-pounder. No beef. No bull. Mon 25 Feb – Sat 2 March. Hi-ho silver!
http://www.lordnelsonsouthwark.com/
****************************************
“I’ll set it in London, have a go at the screenplay myself and have in mind a budget whereby those involved might possibly see a profit” – Ray Cooney, writer/director of Run For Your Wife
POPBITCH _ _ _ _
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| ‘_ \ / _ \| ‘_ \| ‘_ \| | __/ __| ‘_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 21.02.13 ISSUE 630
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to https://www.popbitch.com
To send stories email: hello@popbitch.com
* Revealed: The new Jim Corr
* Tom’s putting it in now…
* Charts: One Direction/Red Nose Day no 1
>> Small mod cons <<
Not the Modgrandfather
Social media holds so many perils for the famous. Someone claiming to be Paul Weller’s grand-daughter (@natashajazmine) was on Twitter asking celebrities to send her signed items so she could auction them for charity.
It dawned on someone to actually check whether Paul Weller did have a grown-up grand-daughter… (um, he’s 54… his eldest child is only 21) but not fast enough to stop a host of generous reality TV stars and footballers, including David James, from trying to help out.
Life of Pi sold its 3,141,592nd copy this week.
>> Prattling on <<
Spencer: the new Jim Corr
Spencer Pratt has developed a rather interesting theory on the Chris Brown/Rihanna assault episode.
“Nobody knows what really happened on the night he was arrested. Maybe there was a third party on the back seat who hit them both and they didn’t want that person to get in trouble.”
Shame awards ceremonies are so averse to successful teen pop, the Brits had to make one up in order to involve One Direction.
>> Shopping with the stars <<
Tom’s putting it in his trolley
Spotted in Tom Baker’s supermarket trolley:
* Champagne
* Gu puds
* Organic bits and bobs
* Premium catfood in tiny tins
* Bushmills whiskey
* Rainforest Alliance chocolate
* The Daily Mail (for which he apologised “Ah well, it’s full of spiteful rubbish, but the Guardian just puts me into a coma.”)
Rumours suggest Guardian journalists are striking tomorrow. (This and BBC strike in half-term – coincidence?)
>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week
Which VIP betting company were over the moon when they signed an Academy Award winner as a client, but are markedly less so now that he’s racked up a six-figure loss that he is unable (or unwilling) to cover?
Weirdest rumour we’ve heard about Richard Briers: He was the first person in the UK to own a Tamagotchi. Can anyone confirm? hello@popbitch.com
The Danish word for ‘tax’ is ‘skat’. So when you pay your taxes you are quite literally paying the skatman.
>> Beta Max <<
Clifford reinvents himself
Following the twin blows of Leveson and Yewtree, we’ve been a little worried for Max Clifford’s career.
Thankfully, it takes more than an arrest for suspected sex offences and a clampdown on press behaviour to keep a man like Max down. He knows that in order to survive, he needs to adapt. So, after a long time repping kiss-n-tell girls (who so often dish dirt about footballers) Max has decided to cross the floor and offer his specialist services to the football clubs instead.
His kind offer to help out Manchester United, in the light of a recent Sun front page, was politely rebuffed. Chelsea, on the other hand, seem to have been keener to get him onside.
I Wanna Bath With Somebody: Is Rihanna’s bath-centric new video for Stay an homage to Whitney Houston’s drowning a year ago?
>> Cockwatching <<
Our own horsemeat scandal
Zig Zag Zog writes:
“My boss said that he once saw David Mellor’s ‘awe-inspiring horse cock in some cathedral toilets’.
“No other details were given.”
There’s a Kanye-zine in the pipeline. Submissions for fiction, non-fiction and poetry that responds “playfully” to the “concept of Kanye” are now being accepted.
>> Proto-popbitch <<
It’s all just history repeating
We mentioned last week that there was a publication doing the rounds in the early sixties that covered both otters and Jimmy Savile – basically being Popbitch nearly half a century ago.
We’ve since got our hands on a copy of it. It was called the New Venture News and their interview with Sir Jim is quite an eye-opener.
Highlights include:
* The reporters telling us Jimmy had a young lady with him, introduced as “the daughter of the man who directs Top Of The Pops on TV”.
* Jimmy claiming that “the law” was his specialist subject.
* Jimmy confessing to his most embarrassing moment: “Being caught with five girls in a caravan at Great Yarmouth by the girls’ mother and father.”
* And his greatest piece of advice? “Whatever ya do, don’t grow up like me”.
Good news. Issue 1 of the new quarterly magazine Practical Sheep, Goats & Alpacas is due to be published in April 2013.
>> Making a killing <<
Ashley and Jay-Z still waiting
So Jay-Z threw his Brits after-party at swanky restaurant Hakkasan. But what happened to that London restaurant that all the papers reported he was about to open with Ashley Cole? Surely nothing could have gone wrong with that watertight business plan, could it?
Alas, it has. And it’s not probably not even something you could blame on Ashley Cole. We’d ask Chris Nathaniel and Paul Boadi of NVA Entertainment – the company which set up the “nine figure deal” to get 40/40 London up and running what happened. But the pair of them are holed up in the Old Bailey, on trial for murder. No wonder Jay-Z didn’t appear to make it to his own party.
FYI: Then again, maybe it’s not all NVA’s fault:
http://bit.ly/134AtJb
Dr Johanna Wanka’s predecessor, Annette Schavan resigned amidst claims that parts of her PhD thesis were plagarised. Its title? “Character and Conscience”.
>> News York <<
Hot-ish off the catwalk
The fashion pack have moved to London, and this was the gossip brought from the Big Apple. Our fashionista tells us that, unlike most of the designer divas around, Victoria Beckham acts like a human being. And was especially well-behaved when David was around. However they did note some mutterings of disapproval in and around the front row, of how often baby Harper seemed to be used as a fashion accessory around cameras.
Michael Le Vell’s defence will be that the script clearly said “Kevin Webster is in the garage servicing a 14 year-old escort…” (Sorry.)
>> Eurobits <<
Euphoric reaction to contest
The massive worldwide club and chart success of last year’s winner, Loreen’s Euphoria, has inspired a wave of interesting pop bands to enter the contest across Europe.
Watching the trends – there’s certainly a New Romantic revival going on (check out Blitzkids); modern synth pop (Margaret Berger), and punk (Winny Puhh). And flying the flag for club anthems, Cascada are Germany’s reps.
We’re hoping BBC Light Entertainment is up to speed and gets us a competitive entry. The fansites have been speculating on Shona McGarty from EastEnders; or that it will be at least one of Girls Aloud, possibly with a will.i.am penned track called Perfume.
Time will tell…
Windows Office 2013 has a 50% surcharge on US prices in UK. This wasn’t the case with Office 2010. Wonder what happened?
>> Hmms <<
Cock, Twitter, DJs
If enough people want an old album repressed on vinyl Beat Delete will do it:
http://www.beatdelete.com
The cutest squeaking animal you’ll ever see:
http://bit.ly/XmXGCv
The company that wants to kill Twitter. Twitter:
http://bit.ly/VxUzqK
Rita Ora auditioned for Eurovision back in 2009. She had different hair back then:
http://bit.ly/YmEsJg
*****************************************
*****************************************
Thanks to: jb, c, deep_stoat, JM, PD, ulysses, mountstnobody, LMES, EIB, RJ, poshduckhunter, john_lewis_partnership, theabomimablehoman, GHK
****************************************
Old Jokes Home:
The expected immigration surge of millions of Romanians is less likely now, as we’ve eaten all their transport.
Still Bored:
Martin Bashir released a reggae album. Called Bass Lion…
http://mysp.ac/12MuNDR
