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The Daily Tonic: Bed, Breakfast And Spam

 

POPBITCH POPQUIZZES: Now that the Rule Of Six has put the kibosh on face-to-face socialising for a bit, it’s back to Zoom we go. So if you want to host a Popbitch Popquiz with friends from the Covid-safety of your sofa, we’ve got some all ready to go. Just £5 each, or find a bargain bundle.
[Take a look here!]
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A quick dose of gossip, smut and silliness Subscribe
* Princess Valerie Singleton?
* Five years since Piggate?
* PLUS: An Italian getaway audio round
>> Checking in <<
A history with Perugia
 

It’s been fun watching No.10 try to convince the British public that Boris Johnson couldn’t possibly have taken a mini-break to Perugia last weekend as he was, supposedly, in church. But the strangest bit to us is the suggestion that staff at Perugia airport would fail to correctly identify Boris Johnson. It’s not as if he hasn’t made spectacle of himself there before.

As was widely reported last year, Boris tried to take a discreet trip to Perugia back in 2018, slipping loose from his security in order to attend one of Evgeny Lebedev’s parties. We might never have known the details had Boris not caught the eye of fellow passengers by turning up to the airport absolutely hanging out of his arse, looking like he’d slept in his clothes and unable to walk in a straight line to the plane.

But his appearances there stretch back further. We first wrote in October 2015 about a Popbitch reader who found himself waiting to board a flight from Perugia to Stansted with Boris. In characteristically disheveled fashion, Boris seemed flustered by the parade of people wanting to take selfies with him there. But whether that’s because he was hungover, or because they were interrupting the farewell he’d been trying to give a young Italian woman, it’s impossible to know.

This weekend saw the five year anniversary of Piggate: the day we all learned that David Cameron once put his knob in a dead pig’s mouth.
>> Burning passions <<
Question of the day
There are few sights more fearsome than a horned-up celeb out on the pull – so today we want to hear your horror stories of watching famous people trying snare themselves a mate.

Today’s Question: What is the wildest, most indiscreet or otherwise notable celebrity PDA you’ve ever been witness to?

Tell us about the sloppy celeb seduction you’ve seen at hello@popbitch.com and we’ll repay the favour with a digital goody bundle.

Vic Reeves applied for a job as a staff writer at Smash Hits in the 80s.
>> Major gossip <<
A 30 year old rumour
 

Last Friday we asked if anyone had any dangling bits of unconfirmed gossip that we could get investigating while we’re waiting for coronavirus to calm down – and it sounds like there might well be…

M writes:
“I was at the Beeb in 2001/2002 in the news dept. There was a file, occasionally anonymously updated, that had a list of ‘Can anyone confirm…’ requests. The earliest, dated just before the 1992 election: ‘Did John Major have an affair with Vanessa Feltz? I’ve heard this story again and again, can anyone confirm it?'”

Well? Anyone? hello@popbitch.com

CS writes: “I went to school with someone whose dad worked in the family courts. He was talking about something he’d heard at work about Prince Philip being Valerie Singleton’s real dad. We were sworn to secrecy but I have always believed it. The ears are a dead give away.”
>> Off-menu <<
Bed, breakfast and spam
 

JC writes:
“Dunno if this is what you’re looking for, but there was a story round here that Monty Python’s Spam song was written because Eric Idle stayed in a B&B in the Stoke/Biddulph area once, and the landlady served nothing but spam. It seems too unlikely to be true yet it’s also curiously specific.

“But as the word ‘spam’ for junk email was derived from that Monty Python sketch, it would mean the landlady with the limited menu introduced a word to the world that will live for ever.”

Any Python fans know of Idle’s inspiration? hello@popbitch.com

Nominative Determinism of the Day: Consultant Ophthalmic Surgeon at Hampshire Eye Hospital… Stephen Lash!
>> Quarantunes <<
#140: A Mini-Break Special
 

Today’s ten tracks are loosely bound by the theme of taking a weekend vacation to a castle in Italy instead of going to church.

You get a point for each song title you correctly name, and a point for each artist too. Ten songs, for a total of twenty points.

[Play it here]

The Popbitch Summer Fundraiser is still open, so if you want our special PB1000 Bundle, featuring 20 Best Of issues, the Popbitch Puzzlebook and a collection of our long-form articles, anyone who donates £5 or more this month will be sent one. [Donate to Popbitch here]
>> Hmmms <<
A couple of quick things
 

Want ambient office noises for this next round of working from home?
[Listen on Spotify]

It’s September 21st!
[Celebrate on YouTube]

Local News of the Day: Long Fork Edition
[Read on Bristol Post]

To mark five years since the Cameron pig-shagging story, here’s a Popbitch look at the most prevalent animal sex rumours in showbusiness
[Read ‘Mucky Business’ on Popbitch]

Thanks to: mount_st_nobody, CS, JC, MS, TP, PB, BC, EA, gentlemanthug, bollwoll
Old Jokes Home
Q/ Why can’t you hear psychiatrists using the toilet?
A/ Because the ‘p’ is silent

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