The Daily Tonic: E 15 BAD

Today is the Queen’s 94th birthday. Given that we’ve spent the last few days discussing celebrity toilets, we figured now was as good a time as any to revisit this little tale about Her Maj.

Whenever Liz makes a royal visit anywhere, her hosts are required to go to great lengths to ensure her comfort in the event of her needing the loo. Much of this has been written about elsewhere (that she has her own seat, her own supply of toilet paper, preferred colours of towels, etc). But one detail that often gets discreetly overlooked is the matter of security.

Naturally her bodyguards need to stick as close to her as possible at all times, but they don’t want to be so close that they can hear the Royal plop hitting the pan.

To prevent embarrassment all round, one method of figuring out where her guards should stand is to have someone repeatedly drop a chunk of banana into the toilet bowl in advance of her arrival, while someone outside takes a step back with each splash to find the point where it becomes inaudible.

If you feel it’s a little crass to be so interested in the Queen’s toilet habits, you should know we’re all in good company.

When Katie Price was giving evidence to Parliament about online trolling a few years ago, she was given a special tour of the Palace of Westminster along with her mum and a couple of her kids.

As part of the tour, their guide managed to sneak them into the Robing Room: the room that is reserved for the Queen to change into her ceremonial robes when she is in attendance – as well as pointing out the special bathroom that Her Majesty uses, should she need.

Katie’s mum and kids were very respectful and reverent throughout. Katie was less so, screeching at the guide, “COME ON THEN, LET’S SEE IF THERE ARE ANY SKIDMARKS!”

A long-standing area of interest to us, we want to know all about the weird and wonderful demands celebrities make ahead of a public appearance. Whether it’s something in their dressing room, a gig venue specification, a corporate event dealbreaker or anything else – let us know.

Today’s Question: What’s the most peculiar rider you’ve ever seen a celebrity submit?

Email your stories to hello@popbitch.com and we’ll dish out some PB goody bags to the best.

Gary_Rowett writes:
“Back in the Britpop era I went out for the afternoon to a house party – I just can’t remember if it was Danny Goffey’s house or it was at Steve Mason’s from Gene (they were both there).

“My flatmate suddenly rang me in a panic – it was the day of a big pay per view fight and we were hosting a party but he couldn’t make it work so told me I had to come home and help. I said my goodbyes and banged the front door closed behind me. At which point I realised the whole letterbox and door knocker was still in my hand…

“I didn’t know what to do. I could hardly knock on the door to tell them, could I? So I just left it in the hedge…”

HB writes:
“I know I’m a bit late with this one, but I remembered I’ve seen Robbie Williams’ number plate. My husband and I got married at the Soho Hotel, and all our guests kept asking the same question – whose Bentley is that parked outside the entrance?

“The car not only stood out for its look, but the number plate was pretty eye catching too: E 15 BAD.”

Another audio round, cobbled together from the far reaches of our music library. You’ll know the score by now: ten songs, twenty points etc. So let’s just crack on with it, shall we?

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