The Daily Tonic: Fish And Kips

With reports that Rita Ora is looking to take a leaf out of Coleen Rooney’s book and set up her own sting operation to uncover who dobbed her in to the cops for her lockdown-busting 30th birthday, we’re keen to hear who else in the celebrity world has been known to dabble in similar covert tactics.

There are all sorts of showbiz espionage tricks: some to uncover who’s been leaking to the press, some to escape the attention of paparazzi, others to tip reporters off to favourable stories about themselves without looking like the source. So we want to know about the most ingenious examples you’ve seen.

Today’s Question: Who is the sneakiest celeb operative? (Or who has the smartest agent pulling these types of tricks on their behalf?)

Send us stories in invisible ink to hello@popbitch.com and we’ll hand over a digital briefcase stocked with hi-tech goodies to the best ones.

CG writes:
“10 or so years ago Rick Astley moved in four doors up from my parents. This was prime ‘Rickrolling’ time and a young family member of mine was very excited to visit us for Christmas as he collected autographs. He put a very polite note through Rick’s front door explaining that he was staying four doors down and would love an autograph if Rick had time to put one through the door.

“On Christmas morning the doorbell rang and Rick was on the doorstep, offering autographs and photos for any family members that wanted one and even stayed for a glass of champagne.”

GS writes:
“Yesterday’s Oliver Reed story reminded me that I spent a summer working in Guernsey when I was 18, and used to drink in the Kosy Korner. I was working in a fish and chip shop down the street from the pub called the Chip Inn.

“One evening Oliver Reed came in absolutely steaming, ordered a massive plate of food and sat down to get stuck in. He managed about three mouthfuls before passing out face down in his haddock and mushy peas. We left him there for about 20 minutes until it was nearly time to close. As I was the youngest and newest member of staff, I was given the job of waking him up and asking him to leave.

“Suffice to say it was not a straightforward process and it ended up taking five of us, three staff and two punters, to finally get him out of the door. He was as strong as a bloody bear!”

thadogg writes:
“I was at the Wall of Sound Christmas party at a hotel near Liverpool Street several years back. At the bar I was having a gak-fuelled discussion with a mate about making chips – and turned round to find a little chap with a Bristolian accent. I engaged him in the conversation.

“The debate centred around the optimum number of times to deep-fry ‘chunky pomme frites’ to get a strong crunch to compliment a good steak au poivre. We settled on three.

“It was Banksy.”

stan2a10shun writes:
“The story of Oliver Reed brought back memories of my ship’s visit to St Peter Port in Guernsey in May 1981. A few of us were ensconced in a local hotel bar watching the Spurs v Man City FA Cup final and in comes Oliver Reed, obviously looking for someone to get bladdered with (and we weren’t really refusing).

“He was extremely loud, entertaining and generous. At chucking out time, Ollie had called Josephine [Burge; his then-girlfriend] to pick him up. As we waited for taxis, there he stood, leant against the hotel wall, jacket in the crook of his elbow, shirt tail flapping, pissing like a fucking elephant, rivers of it cascading down the cobbled street as tourists passed laughing and pointing – and Jo stood in her overcoat and slippers jangling the car keys impatiently.”

To start getting things a bit more Christmassy, without going full-bore festive, the next three audio rounds will form something of a trilogy. They’re all made up of songs from artists who appeared in the various iterations of Band Aid over the years.

Today’s audio round deals with artists from the 1984 original. You’ll get a point for each of the songs of theirs you can name, and a bonus point for naming the artist/band performing them.

Ten songs, potentially twenty points at stake.

[Play along here]

How old ambient Japanese music has found a new audience through YouTube
[Read on arstechnica]

Local News of the Day: Dildo pottery dispute in Wellington
[Read on stuff.co.nz]