The Daily Tonic: Fizzy At The Clopper

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A quick dose of gossip, smut and silliness Subscribe

* Simon’s stinky necklace!

* Joan Collins’ cake delivery!

* PLUS: Another new audio round…

>> Wilde thing <<

Ewan v Elvis: Round 2

It seems quite a few of you spent some time on the set of Little Voice and are well acquainted with the Elvis impersonator that Ewan McGregor tried to outshine during some downtime in filming.
His name is Danny Wilde and it turns out that he’s something of a local legend in Scarborough.
misterswan writes:

“Danny Wilde’s his name and he always had the local ladies fizzy at the clopper with his sparkling repartee and fondness for screaming ‘Sea! Side! Danny Wilde! I said-a SEASIDE DANNY WILDE!’ One of the local school’s dinnerladies was one of his backing singers.”
JH writes: 

“Somehow he’s quite the minor star in Scarborough, attracting crowds of largely older women, some of who throw underwear at him. The first time I saw this I was convinced they were shills, but apparently not. It happens all the time and it’s always different women!”

As well as “Sea! Side! Danny Wilde!” Danny has a full medley of songs he puts his own name in, including “Ole, ole, ole, ole! Danny Wilde! Danny Wilde!”, “Danny Wilde! Superstar! Sings like Elvis in the Nelson Bar!” and more…

>> Talking shop <<

Question of the day

With shops in the UK opening back up today, we want to know all about the celebs you’ve served at the tills – or elsewhere…
Today’s Question: What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever sold to a celebrity? In a shop. Online. In a poorly-lit alley somewhere in Soho. Whatever it is, we want to know.
Tell us your tales of transactions with the stars to hello@popbitch.com and we’ll send some goody bundles to the best ones.

Today in well-known birthdays: Ice Cube, Xi Jinping, Nadine Coyle and Mr Tumble off of CBBC.

>> Cowell movement <<

A finishing touch of cloth

Among the cabaret acts that performed at Simon Cowell’s 50th birthday party, the most interesting sounding was the one who did a ‘reverse strip’.
As we heard it described by one party-goer, she went up on stage naked, then proceeded to produce clothes from up inside her – getting fully dressed throughout the number.
And ended with a special little flourish… pulling a necklace from her arse.

When Geri Halliwell was filming a reality show in the early part of the last decade, she held a casting for photogenic children to attend daughter Bluebell’s birthday party.

>> Slice cold <<

Ain’t nothing like a dame

48K writes:

“I was a waiter at a private birthday party at Joan Collins’s house. The only famous person I recognised was AA Gill, but things got tasty at the birthday cake end of proceedings.
“She took a silver cake slice and started mashing the cake into slices with such vigour that droplets of cake were flung behind her. Such was the ferocity of her chopping, I had to step in. Maybe she’d had one too many white wines.”

Joan might have made a hash of it, but we can’t imagine she did any worse a job of cutting her birthday cake than John Barrowman does. At his parties, he’s been known to do the deed using his own, erm… chopper.

>> Grim shot <<

More intern info

LC writes:

“I have to totally concur with CGB’s assessment of Nick Grimshaw’s skills as he was our intern too. Not only was he possibly the worst performing assistant ever, he had a tidy line in sponging your gak at parties, then immediately disappearing to hang out by someone who could maybe introduce him to someone ‘famous’.
“I can’t really hold it against him though. He was pretty amusing on the whole and his networking skills were on point. I mean there’s a reason he got where he is, no?”

Babs writes: “I went to Madonna’s birthday party once. I thought she was pretty weird but a guest said to me ‘Oh that’s nothing. One year someone knocked a candle over and the wax went in her hair. She went crazy, ended the party immediately and everyone had to go home!'”

>> Quaratunes <<

Another week of this nonsense

Here’s Audio Round No.85 for you. Ten more tracks from across the decades, which means ten more titles for you to remember and ten more artists for you to identify.
So twenty points in total.
[Here you go]

If you’re wanting a slightly more substantial quiz fix, we’ve put together some downloadable Popbitch Popquizzes all especially designed to be completed in quarantine…

[Yours for a fiver]

>> Hmmms <<

A couple of quick things

Take a virtual drive around a city while listening to its local radio station

[Drive & Listen]
The Trump that’s turned on Trump

[Read on The Daily Beast]
We enjoyed this music video

[‘Mark Zuckerberg’ by Nap Eyes]

Thanks to: misterswan, JH, LC, 48K, mount_st_nobody, Babs gentlemanthug

Old Jokes Home

I just popped out to the tobacconist to discover that it’s since been replaced by a tailor. Clothes, but no cigar.

Fancy Another?