The Daily Tonic: Foul Mouthed And Famous

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* Holidays for Schofield!

* Steve’s fascinating fingers!

* PLUS: Your daily audio quiz

>> Bleeping Tom <<

What’s new, **********?

After two and a half months of daily mailouts, we’re going to have to take a day off from sending an email tomorrow – but we didn’t want to miss Tom Jones’ 80th birthday. Thankfully, owing to his filthy mouth (and this being our 69th daily) he has a rightful place in today’s issue too.
AT writes: 

“Back in the 90s I worked at a gastro pub in West London heavily frequented by music industry types. One Saturday night we had a call from one of the regular industry peeps asking us to keep the pub open as they were bringing a VIP guest.
“At about 11pm the Stereophonics turned up with Tom Jones. They were really polite and lovely – Tom even sang to some middle aged pissed women who spotted him – but I have never, ever heard language like it. Every other word was fuck, cunt, twat etc.
“They stayed until 2am, by which time we had to ask them to leave as we’d been serving them booze illegally for two hours.”

Old Popbitch Gold: After a celebratory meal during the Reload recording sessions, Tom Jones once told his band that he always liked to partake of the 4C’s after dinner: “Champagne, cigars, cognac and cunt.”

>> Stupid cupid <<

Question of the day

Hearing the stories of unrequited celebrity crushes that some of you had in childhood has got us thinking about more mature matters of the heart.
Today’s Question: Did you ever mistakenly turn down someone famous before (or during) their fame?
Send your stories of foiled attempts with famous people to hello@popbitch.com and we’ll send out some goody bags to the best.

Our sympathies to the reader who emailed to tell us about the time she begged her family to go on holiday to Newquay on the off-chance she might bump into her teenage crush, Phillip Schofield, visiting his parents there. They went. And he wasn’t. (Probably for the best in the end.)

>> Potty mouths <<

Surprisingly sweary celebs

R writes: 

“I was a runner on the first series of Watercolour Challenge. Between takes Hannah Gordon was effing and blinding like a sailor.”
M writes:

“A few years ago, I played at a charity golf event laid on by Disney, and found myself next to Len Goodman on the fairway. When I asked how his round was going, he proceeded to drop more f-bombs per sentence than anyone I’ve ever met.”
L writes: 

“Una Stubbs! Without hesitation! Was as salty as a sailor and highly entertaining with it. (Also, perfectly lovely.)”

EH writes: “My only claim to fame is that Colin Firth swears like an absolute trooper. I met him at The King’s Speech premiere and he was a very nice man, but I have never heard such profanity. Not what you expect from Mr Darcy.”

>> Cold as ice <<

Torvill, nice; Dean, mean

ND writes:

“Christopher Dean of ice-skating fame was practicing with Jayne Torvill at Nottingham ice rink after they’d won their medals for Bolero. My friend and I shyly skated over to them and Jayne autographed my skate hire ticket. My friend asked Christopher if he’d sign her (home-decorated) Bros jeans and he told her to fuck off. It was amazing.”

J writes: “On the first day of an internship, I got to go to a client media lunch at the Groucho club. I will never forget Janet Street-Porter confidently walking over and delivering the line: ‘I’d fuckin’ better be sitting next to someone fuckin’ interesting or I’m fuckin’ leaving!'”

>> A popular crush <<

Steve Davis: sex god

JHJ writes:

“I too had a Steve Davis crush as a kid, and still do. Every year we go to Glastonbury, and to the Green Fields, where former members of Hawkwind stage a bicycle powered three day free jam with Youth on bass and open mic for every astonishing moon unit hippy from across the known universe.
“Steve Davis is there, every year without fail, usually looking like he is astonished at the sight of his own fingers.”

catsuitcity writes: “My mum tells me my childhood celebrity crushes were: Elton Welsby, Boy George, Andi Peters, Phillip Schofield, Stephen Gately. Apparently I have a type. (PS: I am a girl.)”

>> Quarantunes <<

Today’s audio round

Here’s another ten tracks plucked from various corners of the pop music canon, haphazardly stitched together into a two minute quiz round.
As ever, you get a point for identifying the artist and a point for identifying the title of the song.
[Ten songs; twenty points]

POPBITCH POPQUIZZES: If you’re missing your local pub quiz, we’ve got a range of play-at-home Popbitch Popquizzes available to download from our site. Puzzles! Trivia! Exclusive audio rounds and general pop culture weirdness!

[It’s all here]

>> Hmmms <<

A couple of quick things

Amazing picture of swan graffiti

[See on Daily Record]
An extensive guide to the characters on cereal boxes

[A trip to Web 1.0]
Joy Division’s Love Will Tear Us Apart, where every note is C

[Hear on YouTube]

Thanks to: AT, AM, RC, MN, LF, EH, ND, JH, JHJ, catsuitcity

Old Jokes Home

A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini.

“Dry?”

“Nein, just one.”

Fancy Another?