Popbitch
  • Latest Email
  • Stories
  • Archive
  • Club Popbitch
  • Quizzes
  • About

The Daily Tonic: Marmalade, Mustard and Mash

 

As reading is about the only thing you’re still allowed to do, get your shelves in order with STRONG WORDS MAGAZINE, an entertaining and invaluable guide to the best new books. New UK subscribers get their first issue FREE at www.strong-words.co.uk
logo
A quick dose of gossip, smut and silliness Subscribe
* Baxendale v Deschanel!
* Heather Mills’ dominant genes!
* PLUS: A pop history audio round…
>> Garden state <<
A nice hot pint of cream
 

With such beautiful weather outside and a bank holiday on the horizon, the desire to spend an afternoon in a beer garden is overwhelming. Thankfully, someone sent us a short story yesterday that helped curb our craving – so maybe it’ll help you too.

A few years ago, a Popbitch reader was sat in the beer garden of a Dublin pub on a scorching hot day, when they spotted Shane MacGowan walking their way.

Dressed in a heavy three-piece suit despite the baking weather, MacGowan plonked himself down next to them and wasted no time quenching his summer thirst by getting stuck right in to a nice juicy pint.

Of Baileys.

Sir Patrick Vallance, the Government’s Chief Scientific Officer, has a daughter named Liberty. (Clearly a John Wayne fan…)
>> Know offence <<
Question of the day
 

Thanks for all your stories of celebrity babies. We got quite a few we hadn’t heard before, but now we want to turn our attention to a Popbitch perennial.

Today’s Question: Which celebrities have you seen pull the classic “Don’t You Know Who I Am?” line? And what had caused them to get so affronted?

Send stories of indignant stars to hello@popbitch.com and we’ll dish out some goody bags to our favourites.

king_of_sweden writes: “My kids were at the same school as Bill Drummond’s. Not sure what the sleepy Buckinghamshire village thought of Tiger, Bluebell and Flint.”
>> Mash hit <<
Baxendale v Deschanel
 

We were maybe slightly premature in giving Zooey Deschanel the Popbitch Medal of Honour for naming her baby Elsie Otter. Great though it is, she has a worthy challenger in the form of Helen Baxendale, who has given all of her children increasingly ambitious middle names.

First was Nell Marmalade.

Then came Eric Mustard.

And topping the family off… Vinnie Mash.

Also condiment adjacent: Diana Ross called one of her children Chudney.
>> Sax maniac <<
Heather’s dominant genes
 

Names aren’t the only things that celebrity children get from their parents. They often pick up their habits and talents too.

Back when she was at primary school Beatrice McCartney (daughter of Heather Mills and Sir Paul McCartney) got some glowing reports at parents’ evening. One teacher commented on the girl’s impressive musical ability, to which Heather replied:

“She gets that from me. I play the saxophone.”

Bill Lear – the founder of Lear Jets – called his fifth child Shanda.
>> Cruise control <<
The sounds of Suri
 

You don’t really hear that much about Suri Cruise these days, but she picked up a few strange habits growing up on her parents’ movie sets.

When she was younger child, Suri used to have a very particular way of expressing herself. Whenever she got bored of something (or, more often, someone) she would shout out “Cut!” like a director.

And if she’d really grown tired of your shit, she’d call out “It’s a wrap!” and just walk off.

D writes: “Stretching the term ‘celebrity’ but JC Reid, owner of Skint Records (Fatboy Slim, etc) called his kids Box and Chilli”
>> Quarantunes <<
This day in pop history
 

Today’s audio round is made up of ten songs that were number one on this day at some point in the last 40 years.

You get a point for correctly naming the song, and a point for correctly naming the artist.

[Play it here]

Last night’s live-streamed quiz seemed to work pretty well, so we’ll be doing another in the not-too-distant future. In the meantime, we’ve got plenty of downloadable quiz packs for you to host your own versions for friends and family.
[Take a look here]
>> Hmmms <<
A couple of quick things
 

Someone’s been studying otters juggling
[If you’re curious why they do it]

The llama who might save us all from Covid-19
[Meet Winter]

A record-breaking case of constipation…
[…in a lizard]

Thanks to: juzzy, NB, king_of_sweden, BR, ED, EH, JCC, DA
Old Celebrity Jokes Home
(…as told to us by Sir Ian McKellen)
Sir Ian: “What’s the difference between a blow job and quiche?”
Handsome Young Actor: “I don’t know”
Sir Ian: “Let’s go and have a picnic, then”.

Fancy Another?

  • Bad Elevator Etiquette
  • Recession Indicators
  • Computer Says No
  • Pair With Broiled Raccoon
  • The Smell of Electronic Cheese

  • Privacy
  • FAQ
  • GDPR Statement