The Daily Tonic: Neil…?

The weekend is here, it’s beautiful beer garden weather – but we’re stuck indoors with dwindling supplies. So it’s time we took some inspiration from a much-missed boozer: Amy Winehouse.

Amy would never let a lack of decent ingredients get in the way of a good time. In fact, she had a special drink best known to her crew as “Emergency Sangria”.

Whenever she called out for sangria, that was code for someone to fetch her a glass, half-fill it with red wine – then top it up with Lucozade.

If we learned anything yesterday, it’s that celebrities really don’t know many jokes that wouldn’t get us blacklisted. So perhaps we’re better off sticking to something we know for sure they’re good at: getting shitfaced.

Today’s Question: Do you know any other celebrities who have a weird signature drink? A cocktail of their own invention, a strange method of enjoying their booze, or a very particular drinks request?

Send stories of megastar mixology to hello@popbitch.com and we’ll dish out some goody bundles to the best.

JH writes:
“When I was about eight my dad took me to see the panto of Cinderella at Wimbledon Theatre. Afterwards we waited at the stage door to meet the famous TV personality playing Buttons who kindly signed my programme and drew me a doodle before telling me the following joke:

“Have you ever heard of the oomigoolie bird? It has a six foot wingspan but one inch legs. Whenever it lands you can hear it call ‘ooh me goolies’.

“The celebrity talking genitals to a child? Rolf Harris.”

IE writes:
“I interviewed Peter Andre somewhere near Madrid back when I worked at a music mag. This was during the Second Coming of Peter, after he’d been on I’m A Celeb. Halfway through the interview I asked if he knew any jokes. He thought for a few seconds, then said:

“‘Neil? Is that your name or what you do?’

“Which is pretty crap at the best of times but, as you can see from my initials, my name isn’t Neil.”

J writes:
“This one requires a man’s jacket as a prop. You take the jacket off, stuff one sleeve down your trousers and then, holding the jacket by its shoulders, ask: ‘What’s this?’

“Answer: Michael Jackson helping a little boy get his coat on.

“Who told me that joke? Quincy Jones.”

Today’s audio round was made in honour of Björn from ABBA’s 75th birthday. As a nod to one of the greats, we’ve put together a selection of 10 Swedish artists, performing some of their best-loved hits.

You get a point for naming the artist, a point for naming the song. Twenty points in total.

[Play it here]

Need something to read in lockdown? Here are 25 long-form articles that were the inspiration for Hollywood movies – Hustlers, Almost Famous, The Fast And The Furious, etc…
[See on Longreads]

Puffins!
[See on Twitter]

A rather poignant scene in Soho last night
[Good old Greek Street]