The Daily Tonic: Past Aftermaths

With an uncomfortable amount of the US election still up in the air, we’ve gloved up and gone elbow deep in the archives to bring you some nuggets that lightened up post-election Popbitches in Nov 2000, Nov 2004, etc.

In the meantime, whatever the eventual result, America’s reputation has taken a bit of a pasting with all this – so we’d love for you to remind us of happier times, by telling us your best US celebrity anecdotes.

Whether it’s insane LA bullshit, snarky New York meanness, coke-fuelled Miami madness, or anything weird and wonderful from anywhere else, see if you can restore our faith in the good ol’ US of A.

Today’s Question: What is your most all-American celebrity run-in?

Send your star-spangled celeb stories to hello@popbitch.com and we’ll dish out some digital goodies to the best of them.

* Pope John Paul II proved he still had his finger on the pulse: by arranging to meet Mambo No.5’s Lou Bega.

* It emerged in court that Anna Nicole Smith’s late husband J Howard Marshall thought seriously about adopting her rather than marrying her – a decision based on tax incentives.

* Ped, the drummer from Frankie Goes To Hollywood, used to hate touring so much that he once threw himself down a flight of stairs in order to get a sick note.

* Billy Bob Thornton used to drum in a ZZ Top covers band called Tres Hombres.

From PB232 (Nov 3rd 2004):
The Alexander McQueen show in Paris was set in a scuzzy suburb but it was a hugely decadent affair. A special dressing room was built for the designer, completely furnished in white – sofas, curtains, carpets, candles, flowers – everything.

As the show was due to start, staff realised McQueen was missing – so a minion was sent off to the dressing room. They entered the room to find McQueen on his hands and knees on the floor, shouting, “Where the fuck is the coke? Who the hell put white carpet in my dressing room?”

From PB421 (Nov 6th 2008):
Ever wondered what David and Victoria Beckham talk about at home? A recent guest to a Beckingham Palace dinner party was able to enlighten us. The assembled guests all had a conversation about sunglasses.

Which lasted for more than an hour.

The week before the election, we’d written a story about how Elle Macpherson would get out of chatting to members of the public who approached her by pretending to be foreign and putting on an ill-defined accent to say “Sorry. Englis velly bad.”

Which prompted someone to send us this…

J writes:
“I can sort of confirm the Elle Macpherson story. Years ago, a friend of mine who was a Qantas flight attendant told me about a time when Elle was on a flight. When the attendants tried to ask her anything they would be directed to speak to one of her minders, who would relay the question to her in French. Elle would respond in French and the minder would translate her response to the flight attendant.”

A few years ago, Tony Blackburn took his daughter Victoria to the christening of the son of some radio bigwig. The day went swimmingly, people had a grand old time and Tony was on sparkling form. But when he decided that the time had come to leave, he had a bit of difficulty in convincing his daughter (who was a teenager at the time) to join him.

He indulged Victoria’s protest for a few seconds, then said “You know what happens if we don’t go when I say, don’t you?”

“You start telling jokes,” she replied forlornly – then went to get her coat.

Today, in keeping with the general mood, the ten tracks are all about waiting, delays and hold-ups. You get a point for correctly naming the track’s title and a point for identifying the artist/s.

[Play it here]