Sounds like Katie Price isn’t the only keen Royal bog inspector. From the stories we’ve heard in the last 24 hours, it seems that the Queen barely has time to wipe before one of her loyal subjects is in there scouring the bowl for remnants.
Naturally, we can’t vouch for the authenticity of any of these artefacts. Even if the stories are true, there’s every chance these flush-chasers have ended up picking up some imposter’s excreta. Still, for the sake of whatever kind of record we’re keeping here:
– Someone who once worked at the West Yorkshire Playhouse claims to have salvaged a short curly hair from the toilet that Liz used during a visit many years ago, keeping it in a matchbox and showing it to a reader at a party.
– There’s a story from the RAF about the Queen’s reserved loo in her 32nd Squadron jet. It’s said that ground crew once pumped the cistern with liquid oxygen instead of the usual disinfectant. The outcome: a perfectly preserved frozen Royal turd that went on display in the crew room.
– A reader’s father, once aboard the Royal Yacht Britannia as a guest of the former Sultan of Oman, says he ended up drinking with the crew late that night and was told that they kept one of the Queen’s poos in a jar on the back bar.