The Daily Tonic: The Physical Act Of Gove

We were joking on Thursday that the cabinet was trying to steal Popbitch’s thunder by sending out its own daily package of jokes, distractions and ridiculous stories – but in pulling a Ted Cruz and accidentally liking hardcore pornography on Twitter for all to see, Michael Gove has now fully marched Her Majesty’s Government right on to Popbitch’s lawn.

Making people think about Michael Gove’s knob is our job. You will take it out of our cold, dead hands.

Anyhow, a quick look through the rest of Gove’s Twitter likes shows something a hundred times more embarrassing than a blowjob gif. It seems that whenever Michael crafts a little zinger he’s particularly proud of, he’ll take the time to like his own tweet.

Thank you for all your conspiracy theory stories, but Michael Gove’s misplaced thumbing has got us thinking about how famous people conduct themselves on the internet.

Have you encountered them anywhere unusual? Have they posted to an obscure forum under an assumed name? Do any stars still use their kooky, teenage email addresses? Did you use to chat with anyone famous on MSN Messenger? We’re not asking you to doxx anyone, but we’d be interested to know about any fun spots out in the wilds of the web.

Send information of your strange celebrity sightings online to hello@popbitch.com and we’ll dish our some digital goodies to the best.

A lot of conspiracy theorising centres around quirks and connections in family trees, who’s secretly related to who, etc. One long-standing well-known one is that James Hewitt was thought to secretly be the father of Prince Harry, after an affair he had with Princess Di.

Last year, the Canadian government had to issue an official denial stating that Justin Trudeau was not the secret son of Cuban leader Fidel Castro after that theory persistently swirled around the internet.

But the most popular family conspiracy among Popbitch readers? That Bono is the real father of Carla Bruni’s daughter, not Nicolas Sarkozy.

GW writes:
“I laugh at all conspiracy theory nuts, but this one I believe with all my heart: Paris Hilton has a secret hobby of restoring old radios.”

[Find out more]

BI writes:
“I’ve got a similar story about tight Game of Thrones stars. During the Edinburgh Fringe one year I worked at an artist support services centre where performers could come in and relax, network, and use our printers/photocopiers at a cost of about 5/10p a sheet.

“Towards the end of the festival, Jack Gleeson (Joffrey Baratheon) comes in with a friend to do some printing, including printing off the boarding pass for his flight home. He left without paying for any of it. Can’t remember what the total sum was but I’d guess he still owes the Fringe Society about £1.25.”

Today’s ten tracks are all bound by a common theme. They have won a Smash Hits Poll Winners Award – either for Best Single or Worst Single. We won’t tell you which (and, honestly, you might not even be able to guess) but you get a point for identifying the artist and a point for naming the title.

Ten songs; twenty points.

[Good luck!]

Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s final kitchen disco
[Watch on Instagram]

Create your own MP with a neural network
[Make on Vole]

Camila Cabello sings Llama Llama Red Pyjama
[Listen on Twitter]