The Daily Tonic: Typical Tara Reid!

What else can we tell you about Paul Dacre, the former Daily Mail editor that Boris has earmarked for the chairman’s job at Ofcom?

Once in conference, Dacre interrupted a journalist who was talking about female fighter pilots going into Libya to ask, “What? Actually flying the planes? And shooting? Not just navigating? Or giving directions?”

The reporter informed him that, yes, the women would be flying fighter jets.

Dacre mulled this over for a second, before asking: “Won’t their tits get in the way of the steering?”

In honour of David Hasselhoff’s many reenactments of dismantling the Berlin Wall, today we want to hear about the other weird, funny, ambitious and ill-advised things you’ve seen celebrities do on stage. Whether it’s oversharing in a one-person show, some technical sort of Spinal Tap/Stonehenge mishap, or just some over-excitable anarchy, we want to know.

Today’s Question: What’s the most insane thing you’ve seen a famous person do on stage?

Tell us about the weirdest celebrity stage shows at hello@popbitch.com and we’ll send some goody bundles to the best.

RM writes:
“Uri Geller is like the Queen – he never carries money and very purposely (and strictly) avoids touching it. As a result, when he’s out and about any payments have to be dealt with by his wife or his brother-in-law – or accompanying friend, which sometimes takes his companions by surprise.

“The only exception to his no-money-touching ‘rule’ is when someone recognises him and asks for one of his Matrix-like demonstrations of mind power. If there are no spoons anywhere nearby to help him oblige, on those occasions he’ll sometimes offer to bend a coin for them instead.”

Back in 2006, when he was riding high for his acclaimed turn as Richard Nixon in Frost/Nixon, Frank Langella told the show’s cast that he wanted to treat them all to a trip out to see the new Bond movie, Casino Royale.

This generous offer was almost immediately rescinded on arriving at the Leicester Square Odeon however, when Langella found out the price of cinema tickets in Central London. Rather than deal with it discreetly, Langella spluttered with rage, demanding someone call the film’s producer Barbara Broccoli and inform her of this, insisting that “They wouldn’t charge ME to see one of their movies.”

Sadly, as no-one had Barbara’s number to hand, Frank ended up forking out. For his own ticket. He left the rest of the cast to pay for theirs.

The highest grossing musicians of 2019 were The Rolling Stones. How does a band that has been going for nearly 60 years continue to outearn the hottest, most fashionable new names in music? By being absolutely massive skinflints.

The Stones’ touring company is so legendarily stingy that they once held a meeting in which the decision was taken to remove premium biscuits from the support bands’ riders and replace them with cut-price equivalents.

Mick Jagger takes a very hands-on role with this sort of cost-cutting and attended that meeting in person. Flying in by private jet to do so.

Today’s ten tracks are all connected by the theme of money and material wealth. You get a point for identifying each artist/band (ten in total) and a point for correctly naming each of their songs (for a further ten).

There’s twenty points at stake, each as worthless as the last. Should help brighten up a grey Tuesday though.

[Play it here]

An otter munching ice
[See here]

A 1982 Japanese punk cover of Love Will Tear Us Apart
[Hear it here]

Nice anecdote in here from the director of Cool Runnings about the projects he was offered after
[Animal + Ailment]